Shyness over public nudity

LegacyUser

Hi. This may sound silly, but I was wondering if any other gay guys have the same problem.

When I was young I always thought I had a shy bladder because I could never use a urinal without freezing up. But in recent years I begun to think it's because I'm gay. I am really afraid that someone will use the urinal beside me and either A: see's my weiner and I get shy or B: see his and again I get shy!

Another problem is changing rooms. In the gym I go to I never take a shower for fear I'd suddenly get a boner or something. It may be unlikely, but I'm just really paranoid, especially when there are good looking guys around and on occasions you cant help but notice!

Is this normal for gay guys or is how I'm acting unrelated?

Petey89

I just hate using urinals in general, just like to go pee without someone looking at me i get stage fright and just cant go if there someone there lol,
Hate going to changing rooms or anywhere that id have to be naked in front of someone not because i think il get a boner just personal confidence thing i guess. You might see good looking guys in the changing room but that doesnt mean your going to get a boner as long as your not thinking about sex youl be grand haha!

Annasopra

I don't think is a gay specific thing at all

Petey89

mango salsa wrote: »

I don't think is a gay specific thing at all

I agree with you, think its a general man thing!

You are stressing yourself about the urinal which means the muscles cannot relax to let the pee out.
Once you cease giving a monkeys, it won't be a problem - at least that was my experience and I only got over it in my thirties when I stopped being self-conscious.

Davyhal

I used to be of the same mindset, afraid that I would get "excited" if I saw another man's lad, or even worse, that I would see a friend's lad and then start to look at them in a different light (shockingly enough, this has happened!!!). However, I realised that I was being ridiculous. I have no issue with being naked in the changing room at the gym and all that. However, I do still suffer from shy bladder unless I have a drink or two in me! Can only ever use the urinal when sober if there is nobody about.

Aurongroove

I conquered my fear by basically being too lazy to queue for the cubicles all the time.

When you're on a bus for 3 hours and you only have 10 minutes to take a piss and grab a cup of tea, you very quickly lose your stage fright.

One day I jumped off the bus, walked to the jacks, bus driver was there taking a piss, some other old guy was there pissing too, and worst of all it was one of those wall to wall ones: no privacy.

I looked at the cubicles, look at my watch and thought "**** this" and went and took a piss.

and the world didn't end.

You shouldn't think "what if they see my willy" or "what if I see their willy".
The truth is they will see you willy if they are looking, and you will see theirs if you're looking, but the point is in reality, no one cares and no one will comment.
The only people who do are either high, or drunk or otherwise mentally unstable.

Now, yes this is made slightly more significant by homosexuality, but at the end of the day, why don't you get an erection from holding an looking your own penis? with all the masturbation an average guy might get up to he's probably had more actual sex with himself then anyone else on the planet. how come you don't get embarrassed on your own in a cubicle?

Sometimes a guy taking a piss is just a guy taking a piss and not the beginning of a pornographic hallucination.

NewsMeQuick

shygayguy wrote: »

Hi. This may sound silly, but I was wondering if any other gay guys have the same problem.

When I was young I always thought I had a shy bladder because I could never use a urinal without freezing up. But in recent years I begun to think it's because I'm gay. I am really afraid that someone will use the urinal beside me and either A: see's my weiner and I get shy or B: see his and again I get shy!

Another problem is changing rooms. In the gym I go to I never take a shower for fear I'd suddenly get a boner or something. It may be unlikely, but I'm just really paranoid, especially when there are good looking guys around and on occasions you cant help but notice!

Is this normal for gay guys or is how I'm acting unrelated?

All of this has crossed my mind too...

1. Yes I think that being gay made me a shy public-peer. I don't think that being gay is the only cause of this for men. But in my case, yes. I've tried to remove that barrier over time and most of the time I'm fine, but I do have to concentrate.

2. I recently started going to the gym. Getting an accidental boner is a definitely chance unfortunately but I tried very hard not think about things and it went really well. The next time I was so comfortable I almost paraded a bit. (it was really about knowing that I could do it, not a desire to wave my ding dong)

As ever, both with friends and in public, I never look at other guy's ding dongs but they always look at mine. Some donkey next to me in the shower wouldn't stop fiddling with it and peeking over at me (if you could believe I'm not convinced he's gay, rather he was just peeking generally) I was praying to f*** that nothing would happen downstairs, thankfully I escaped it...

NewsMeQuick

Aurongroove wrote: »

Sometimes a guy taking a piss is just a guy taking a piss and not the beginning of a pornographic hallucination.

I agree with the other 99% but you can't help your body and mind taking association with things; my body has been trained through having sex with men to think 'fun' when either a di** is out or a guy is naked. I simply find myself having to add to that association - not to associate it with 'fun'. You know what I mean?

NewsMeQuick

Davyhal wrote: »

I used to be of the same mindset, afraid that I would get "excited" if I saw another man's lad, or even worse, that I would see a friend's lad and then start to look at them in a different light

I'm not criticising but I think there is something else really basic that we have to come to accept - this is the main part of the male body that we're sexually interested in. How many straight men would say they can change and shower with women 'but don't have to imagine them as sexually attractive'. Total nonsense! We are human after all. I understand with most people's points on this and largely agree, but I'm not going to start denying my natural urges. Show me a straight man who can do this.

floggg

NewsMeQuick wrote: »

I'm not criticising but I think there is something else really basic that we have to come to accept - this is the main part of the male body that we're sexually interested in. How many straight men would say they can change and shower with women 'but don't have to imagine them as sexually attractive'. Total nonsense! We are human after all. I understand with most people's points on this and largely agree, but I'm not going to start denying my natural urges. Show me a straight man who can do this.

Meh. There is nothing really that sexy about a flaccid penis.

I don't give them a second glance in the shower when in the gym etc.

Now, ass, chest, stomach and arms are another matter entirely. Sometimes an admiring glance or two can't be helped.

Though just glimpsing a hot guy naked isn't going to turn me into a lustful cockmonster. Unless the situation itself is sexual, I just admire and get on with my own stuff.

nordisk celt83

Am I the only one who changes and showers at home??? Public showers are rank!

Using urinals is grand though. I never really notice other willies; too focussed with the job in hand!

1ZRed

It's not a sexual situation so I'm not going to get aroused and I just go about it and leave. It's unrelated to being gay as well.

That's not to say if I'm at the gym I might take a sly glance, but that'd be it. I'm just uninterested in checking all the lads out.

Nobody cares about public nudity in those places and if you've got hang ups many, many straight guys also do, so just get on with it and try don't bother yourself about it. Be grand, just a bit of cock :P

Tainor

Reading most of the comments here makes me understand how much self control us gay man have. I mean they used to and still to some extend portrait gay man as over-sexual beings that run on food, water and sex.

In striking contrast I think straight man will have 0 chance what so over, to be either in gym filled with naked women and not getting a boner, or taking a leak and seeing a women's vagina right next to him, no straight (Pun intended) chance in hell!

I like some others have the "pee-shy" thing going on and,

1. Because I am a man attracted to other men.

2. Because I cannot take a leak in public due to genuine shyness and nervousness

But, those inhibitions fall quickly once I have a drink in me, I stop caring who is next to me and who is not and just "do it". So I know for sure it is a mental thing that can be overcome.

One thing I really hate is those metal urinals that run from wall to wall, usually in busy pubs and bars it's so cramped that is at times a dong-to-dong.

paulmorro

Tainor wrote: »

In striking contrast I think straight man will have 0 chance what so over, to be either in gym filled with naked women and not getting a boner, or taking a leak and seeing a women's vagina right next to him, no straight (Pun intended) chance in hell!

I dunno - people in European saunas manage and you don't tend to hear about wall to wall erections.

In terms of the gym, when I'm in the shower I might notice but really don't care. I'm tired after the gym, just wanna grab my shower and leave. I'm not really in a horny mood in what isn't really an erotic location.

Aurongroove

NewsMeQuick wrote: »

I agree with the other 99% but you can't help your body and mind taking association with things; my body has been trained through having sex with men to think 'fun' when either a di** is out or a guy is naked. I simply find myself having to add to that association - not to associate it with 'fun'. You know what I mean?

I'm not saying control the association, I'm saying control your reaction to the association.
It's not like you've got some sort of physical Tourette's. you're denying yourself the possibility of being able to think "well that's me for ya :rolleyes:" then putting it out of your mind.

It might sound like something easier said then done, but it isn't, it's a bit like a leap of faith. once you do it the first time, the following times will become less and less concious and less of a mental effort.

Tainor

paulmorro wrote: »

I dunno - people in European saunas manage and you don't tend to hear about wall to wall erections.

In terms of the gym, when I'm in the shower I might notice but really don't care. I'm tired after the gym, just wanna grab my shower and leave. I'm not really in a horny mood in what isn't really an erotic location.

In general European mixed saunas are strictly in towels or bathing suits, not naked and walking around tits and vagina front and centre. So that can explain why they don't have wall to wall erections.

As for the gym scenario that depends on the person, in my old gym guys used to walk around naked all the time and there used to be big wall size mirrors in which guys checked themselves out naked all the time!

I do have good personal control so it did not really bother me, but I still think that if a straight person was presented with a similar situation they will have a harder time to resist their sexual arousal.

JupiterKid

I have no problem whatsoever with nudity. In fact, when I travel to the Continent I prefer to swim nude and indeed nude swimming is quite popular in many countries in Europe. The same goes complete nudity in steam rooms and saunas - it's just no big deal. When I was a teenager I was highly body conscious and rather prudish but I simply grew out of that hangup.

Yes, there are hot guys and fit men strutting round naked in changing rooms and showers but I find that if you practice a measure of self-control, there is no problem. I see absolutely no problem in walking around completely nude in a changing room. Lots of guys like to strut around in the buff.

I think the more you make a big deal and an issue of it the more you will feel uncomfortable and hung up about it. Throw caution - and your towels - to the wind!

dave98

I have no problems in the gym, cant use a urinal if I am sober - not a hope. I was in New York afew years ago on hols and was at a urinal, it was one of those horrible wall to wall ones. The stainless steel was so shiny I could see the other guys willys and they mine, it was so awkward there was no where to look!