I have to get this out of my chest

LegacyUser

Bi lad here... First of all I'm not Irish so I'm sorry for my english... Me and my brother had an argument (my brother 34 an illegal immigrant jobless. He has a wife who's working as a child minder which also illegal) (mum brought them here to earn money) Anyway, like I said we had a fight... I only told him to help something in the house like even just washing his dishes after using em' as I do feel sorry for our mum doing all the cleaning in the house other than she's working 36 to 49 hours a week as a care assistant in a nursing home. He then shouted at me "What did you just say? Am I minding your fa.ggot life for you to mind my own? Go mind your fa.ggot life you have no right as you're not feeding me. go kill yourself." I'm always a loner... I'm in this country since 2006 legal I'm on a dependant visa by my mum. no friends since I came here. I always feel like everyone will disown me if I come out and this argument made it much harder for me to be myself.

I'm studying and working at the same time to help my mum pay the rent/bills etc. It's unfair for my mum working her butt off and him sitting at home with his Ipad 2 on his hands all day not doing anything. Before they came here they promise my mum once they earn enough money to buy a house they'll go home, but no! While me and mum working and struggling to pay the rent/bills they're enjoying the good stuffs they've got an Ipad 2 and recently bought Mac Book Pro and a 42" LED TV.

As I would love to get my own life, I'm always thinking of my mum on how she's gonna cope with it. Sometimes she's opening up to me saying she's already tired from working.

I just only got the balls to say it to my brother as I had enough with all his laziness. He's old and our mum is old.

Edit: One of the Personal Issues mod tell me to repost it here as I didn't make it clear earlier this was sexuality related...

Aurongroove

Sounds like your brother is a lazy dickhead.

LegacyUser

Sorry OP to hear of your troubles, I agree with the poster before me that it appears the problem is very much in his domain as opposed to yours. Don't think too rashly about this or else you're in danger of becoming irrational and thinking too much. Try to think clearly before acting out of haste. That would be my first advice.

Second, I'm in a similar position to you in the extent that I too struggle to find friends around. It takes a lot of effort for two people to commit to a solid friendship and this can only happen if you expose yourself to environments where you can find guys which have similar interests to you. Are you involved in any clubs? What are your interests?

If you wish, if you register I can give you a PM and we could chat from there. I'm always happy to chat with guys who are struggling to find buddies as I've been in a very similar position myself, and to some extent, still am. Either way, I hope this advice is of some use to you and hope your brother changes as he cannot behave like this.

Beruthiel

BiLad wrote: »

As I would love to get my own life, I'm always thinking of my mum on how she's gonna cope with it.

Speaking as a mother myself, I would like to point out the following:

You only get one life, live it to the max, without fear and be happy.

You are the child here and not responsible for your mothers life, like you, she is in charge of how she wants to live.
My daughter is not responsible for me or my happiness, nor would I expect her to be. I'm a grown adult and I can take care of myself.

It is up to your mother to kick your brothers arse and make him earn his keep.
It is up to her to throw him out of the house if he doesn't cop on and pull his weight.
I would never allow my child to behave like that towards me.

Go your own way OP and feel no guilt for it.

CdeC

Hi OP,
You're brother sounds like he is a nasty piece of work to say such horrible things. But he may be frustrated at not working or his ideas for his time here mightn't have worked out. Obviously he should help out more around the house but if he is going to have that attitude I'd doubt it's going to happen.

More importantly I think you need to focus on what your're doing. You say you have no friends, why not?? There are plenty of clubs and places to meet people. Take some time and force yourself to meet new people, it may take time but you willl make friends. Pick something you've always wanted to do and make a go of it. If you are out living your life your mum will be much happier for you.

Best of luck

Rick_

Where is he getting the money to buy an iPad and a Mac Book Pro and a 42" LED TV if he doesn't have a job?

If only you and your mum work, surely you aren't giving him money to buy these things?

LegacyUser

like I said his gf is working as a child minder. He doesn't like being told. He's also getting mad to his gf if she buy stuffs for herself or to her family back home.

Tainor

OP,

It is very sad to hear such things, but it does happen and with the economy and everything in Ireland going not so great I can understand where you coming from. Maybe your brother is just frustrated that his idea of Ireland was not how he planned, as a foreigner who has been here for over 10 years I can tell you a lot of people had crazy ideas when they originally arrived here couple of years ago, of how their lives would have played on.

I think you mentioned you currently study, so I think you are a student.

Check out thread below and see if you can make the meet-up, I was there the last time and have made some great friends and before that we were simply strangers. I end up meeting people who I shared a lot of ideas and similar thoughts, so if you feel you lack friends come and give this a try I bet you will gain a lot of new friends, as I did. The thread is below:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056850208&page=2