Civil partnership - looking for advice & tips

ArthurG

Hi all,

Feels a bit strange to be posting in this forum.... but anyhow I'll give it a shot

Me and my b/f are currently in the planning stages of our civil partnership (i.e. same sex) which we hope to have in the autumn, and being the organiser, I'm currently looking at our options.

Having read through loads of threads, visited websites etc., I'm feeling a bit more confused than I'd like to be. Seems to be a lot of differing opinions, and confusion between civil partnerships & marriages (and how they both operate).

I'd REALLY really appreciate getting in contact with anyone who has been through the process to discuss it, and I'm struggling to understand how elements of the whole thing work.

Currently, our thinking is along the lines of:

- We want to have friends / family to celebrate, but not necessarily in a pokey HSE office somewhere (maybe I'm being unfair to the HSE)
- Would like to have it in a small hotel or house type set-up, but not sure if we can get a registrar to attend that type of thing (or would we do that separately and then have a 'service' at a different time)
- What options do we have for a separate service - e.g. Humanist (I know they are now allowed to do marriages, has anyone used them to do a service for a CP?)
- I see quite a few mentions of this guy Tom Colton - the website looks a bit hokey, but again maybe I'm being unfair - anyone has used him / them?
- Aside from the €150 registration fee, what other 'legal' costs are these (aside from the separate service / venue) - I can't seem to find any reference to the cost of the actual registration on the GRO website
- The GRO website states that you must provide a date you wish to have the CP when you register - this seems a bit chicken and egg - I'm assuming the registrar will give you available dates, but there may be some chopping and changing to get a venue on the same date - is this flexible?
- Are witnesses needed at the notification meeting with the registrar?

Those are the main questions in my head at the moment.

Anyone who has any advice, please drop me a PM or whatever, I'd really like to pick your brains

Loads of thanks in advance!

SmilingLurker

First, congratulations to both of you.

ArthurG wrote: »

- We want to have friends / family to celebrate, but not necessarily in a pokey HSE office somewhere (maybe I'm being unfair to the HSE)

The HSE registrar can be paid to go to an approved venue. The Grand Canal Dock registry office is ok, not great, I would agree with this sentiment. My now wife cried when she saw it and was not getting married there. The staff are great however, and very helpful, when you get through. Getting them on the phone is a nightmare at best.

ArthurG wrote: »

- Would like to have it in a small hotel or house type set-up, but not sure if we can get a registrar to attend that type of thing (or would we do that separately and then have a 'service' at a different time)

You can, limited days, just Monday-Friday (for any HSE registrar). It has to be an approved site for a civil ceremony, and must be open to the public. Quite a lot of hotels/clubs/etc. have this now.

ArthurG wrote: »

- What options do we have for a separate service - e.g. Humanist (I know they are now allowed to do marriages, has anyone used them to do a service for a CP?)

www.humanism.ie - I would recommend them (we had a wedding ceremony with Brian Whiteside - pre the law change - so we had to do a separate civil ceremony)

ArthurG wrote: »

- I see quite a few mentions of this guy Tom Colton - the website looks a bit hokey, but again maybe I'm being unfair - anyone has used him / them?

A spiritualist, who can have members of your family attend from the other side. I don't believe it, but whatever floats your boat!

ArthurG wrote: »

- Aside from the €150 registration fee, what other 'legal' costs are these (aside from the separate service / venue) - I can't seem to find any reference to the cost of the actual registration on the GRO website

The only thing you need to get married/civil partnered is the €150, meet them 3 months in advance and get the date. Organise to meet them quickly, Fridays etc. get filled.

ArthurG wrote: »

- The GRO website states that you must provide a date you wish to have the CP when you register - this seems a bit chicken and egg - I'm assuming the registrar will give you available dates, but there may be some chopping and changing to get a venue on the same date - is this flexible?

Go in with a couple of dates in mind, they are not always available. If you have preferred dates go for it. If you are getting the HAI (humanists) to do it, organise it directly with them.

ArthurG wrote: »

- Are witnesses needed at the notification meeting with the registrar?

No. Just at the civil ceremony (we changed ours on the day too!)

brownej

My Partner and I did our civil partnership in November and we did it in a hotel.
Depending on where you are the ceremony arrangements can be different.

For a civil partnership the HSE registrar is the only one who can do the legal bit. Humanists can do marriages but not civil partnerships.
The HSE will only perform the ceremony on a weekday.
There is much more flexibility to accomodate you in the registry office than at an outside venue. If you are doing it in an outside venue then it needs to be indoors. No garden or beach weddings etc.
2 witnesses are required for the partnership on the day.

We did ours in Limerick and there was restrictions on the performing of the ceremony at an outside location. They only performed 2 outside ceremonies a month on a Thursday or a Friday but will do 1 outside ceremony every Wednesday.

I spent a week trying to get them on the phone last January and I got the last available Friday slot of the year at the end of November. Depending on the HSE area you are in you may not have much choice on availability on your chosen day. You may just have to pick a date from the available list but if you want to do it this year contact them IMMEDIATELY. Pick a date over the phone don't wait for your three month notice meeting. The HSE seem to use an excel spreadsheet/really slow web based computer system. It can be really slow to access. If you manage to get a registrar on the phone do not hang up until you get the available dates off them and have your name pencilled in against one.

In addition to the 150 charge there will be a "mileage" charge for transport to the venue. depending on location it'll probably only be 50 quid.
Every ceremony needs to be approved. A venue inspection will be required if the venue hasn't been used before. An inspection will be required even if the venue has been used before but a different room is being used for the ceremony. The HSE sends a form to the venue. You don't really need to worry about that.

The process is actually really smooth but it helps to know what to expect in advance.

An alternative to the HSE performing your ceremony on a weekday would be for you to do the legal bit in the office the week before and then have a non-legally binding service in a hotel or whatever location you want later.

The HSE ceremonies are short but they do allow you to include your own readings (no religious references or references to marriage) music and candle ceremony if you want.

Our ceremony was lovely and the registrar was so nice and friendly and it really worked out very well.

If you've any questions let me know.
As you want to get your civil partnership this year contact the HSE registrar ASAP.

tatli_lokma

brownej wrote: »

There is much more flexibility to accomodate you in the registry office than at an outside venue. If you are doing it in an outside venue then it needs to be indoors. No garden or beach weddings etc.
2 witnesses are required for the partnership on the day.

We did ours in Limerick and there was restrictions on the performing of the ceremony at an outside location. They only performed 2 outside ceremonies a month on a Thursday or a Friday but will do 1 outside ceremony every Wednesday.

if you want it outside it has to be inside??

do you mean offsite? as in they do x many weddings offsite (i.e a place other than the registry office) per week?

If this is what you mean, then you are correct, and it must be indoors but there are also other requirements of the premises - such as open to the public and wheelchair accessible etc. The full list of requirements can be found on the GRO website

Sleepy

In Dublin I know City Hall can be used for weddings so I presume it's the same for civil partnerships and it's a stunning building. I think Dun Laoghaoire County Council are starting to do weddings on-site now too and again, it's a lovely old building with incredible views of the bay.

We're getting married by the Spiritualist Union of Ireland (Tom Colton's crowd) and they're quite happy to do a non-religious ceremony. Not sure if they're licensed for civil partnerships but as far as wedding ceremonies go they'll let you have whatever kind of ceremony you like (aside from some legally binding bits they must include). The lady marrying us gave us some lovely suggestions for our vows and sand ceremony. They're expensive (€350 on top of the €150 fee to the registry) but it's currently the only option for a legal non-religious wedding on a Saturday (until the Humanists Society are up and running).

brownej

Sleepy wrote: »

In Dublin I know City Hall can be used for weddings so I presume it's the same for civil partnerships and it's a stunning building. I think Dun Laoghaoire County Council are starting to do weddings on-site now too and again, it's a lovely old building with incredible views of the bay.

We're getting married by the Spiritualist Union of Ireland (Tom Colton's crowd) and they're quite happy to do a non-religious ceremony. Not sure if they're licensed for civil partnerships but as far as wedding ceremonies go they'll let you have whatever kind of ceremony you like (aside from some legally binding bits they must include). The lady marrying us gave us some lovely suggestions for our vows and sand ceremony. They're expensive (€350 on top of the €150 fee to the registry) but it's currently the only option for a legal non-religious wedding on a Saturday (until the Humanists Society are up and running).

Only the HSE can do Civil Partnerships. Weddings can be performed by any registered solemiser.

If I was getting a civil partnership/ civil marriage in Dublin I would definitely be seriously looking at city Hall. It's a brilliant space.

ArthurG

Thanks for all your replies