Neighbours, eh?

Badly Drunk Boy

I get on fine with my neighbours, but as soon as I try to do something in the garden, my next-door neighbour comes up with something like "No, that won't do. I'll get my long-reach clippers for you."

I know he's trying to help but I can't even cut the grass without him coming out to make a comment.

Many years ago, he fixed the brakes on the bike of a mutual friend (his son and I were best friends since we were in nappies), and he fixed the brakes on the bike meaning that our friend went over the handlebars the first time he used them.

Anyway, I ended up attacking a huge tree/bush/shrub at 6am this morning, just so I didn't have to deal with him. (And he never leaves the house for more than 20 minutes. Ever.)

This is more of a pathetic rant than anything else. But ye are welcome to make yer calls. Or make suggestions.

P_1

If he helps ye leave him be, if he doesn't help politely tell him to fcuk off.

Badly Drunk Boy

tl;dr

I don't feel comfortably doing anything in my garden because of my neighbour's interference.

kneemos

Invite him into your bedroom so he can give handy tips and suggestions.

DEFTLEFTHAND

Behave in an aggressive manner the next time he tries to help. Be very short in your answers and include profanity when you can. Create tension, make him become afraid of you.

Little Acorn

He sounds like a lovely man to me.
I say leave him be, and be glad that you haven't got scumbags for neighbours instead.

BillyMitchel

Chopping down big trees at 6 in the morning? Didn't last very long if you had to come on AH and tell us all about it!

Get back outside with a chainsaw (be careful if you've been drinking) take your top off and attack that poor muther focking tree like it killed your mother. When he gets up all hysterical and runs out the back in his little gay dressing gown, you eye ball that muther focker and scream at him "wanna help now, big boy" while swinging the chain saw at his penis.

Problem solved!


* be careful where the tree falls.

Badly Drunk Boy

No, the Leylandii still have have to be done. But others that were overgrown had to be dealt with. All I want is a day to fix them without any comments! If I need any help, or any implements, I'll ask.

2 years ago this same neighbour cut down a 6' fuschia bush in my garden "because it's dead". Without telling me! Even though he hadn't intended it, it came back to life and is flourishing now.

He's in his late sixties and has nothing to do, and is only helping in his mind, but I want to do stuff without interruption by myself.

Even at 6-ish am on a Saturday morning.

Little Acorn

You mentioned he never leaves the house for more than 20 mins.
Does he live alone? If so maybe he is just lonely, and his "helpful" (:pac:) suggestions are just an attempt to have some type of friendly interaction?

Do you have anybody living with you that you could invite him in for a cup of tea or something, and you just nip out to do your bits in the garden whilst he is busy chatting inside with the others?

If that can't happen, just thank him for his advice but go ahead and do what you want to do anyways. There's no need for an argument or anything about it.

im invisible

Everybody needs good neighbours, with a little understanding you can find the perfect blend

irelandspurs

Squirt him with your hose.;)

KERSPLAT!

Little Acorn wrote: »

He sounds like a lovely man to me.
I say leave him be, and be glad that you haven't got scumbags for neighbours instead.

Completely agree! I'm living in my house for over 20 years and my next door neighbour always, as long as I can remember, offered to help out whenever I was in the garden or whatever. Now sometimes I'd only be watering the plants and it would be a little annoying, but I'd rather someone offer help than not. He's getting older now and the tables have turned, so whenever he looks like he needs help I'll always offer, if he doesn't need it he politely refuses as did I for all those years

Best username ever

Princess Petulia Pissy Pants wrote: »

Completely agree! I'm living in my house for over 20 years and my next door neighbour always, as long as I can remember, offered to help out whenever I was in the garden or whatever. Now sometimes I'd only be watering the plants and it would be a little annoying, but I'd rather someone offer help than not. He's getting older now and the tables have turned, so whenever he looks like he needs help I'll always offer, if he doesn't need it he politely refuses as did I for all those years

Listen pissy pants, that's a great username

KERSPLAT!

Best username ever wrote: »

Listen pissy pants, that's a great username

Yep, best username ever!!

Dunny

Cut his grass.

gjc

Dunny wrote: »

Cut his grass.[/Quote
go commando see if he runs out then

kneemos

Sounds like a lonely old boy with time on his hands.

Miike

Best username ever wrote: »

Listen pissy pants, that's a great username

Totally offtopic but I was in work the other day and red a post from pissy pants and almost choked on my tongue laughing when I realised the username. Amazing! Even the lads in the office gathered to find out what was so funny

mattjack

Princess Petulia Pissy Pants wrote: »

Completely agree! I'm living in my house for over 20 years and my next door neighbour always, as long as I can remember, offered to help out whenever I was in the garden or whatever. Now sometimes I'd only be watering the plants and it would be a little annoying, but I'd rather someone offer help than not. He's getting older now and the tables have turned, so whenever he looks like he needs help I'll always offer, if he doesn't need it he politely refuses as did I for all those years

I'm her neighbour and her name is an apt description

Ghandee

I thought this was about Ramsey street.

Brendan moyna

I'd agree with most of the above apart from the chainsaw comment, being a victim of such antics in the past, let him give you advice but do your own thing anyway he'll soon get the hint, or if he does live alone, hire a lady of the night to come calling while your out in the garden, that should take his mind of it.

Badly Drunk Boy

Little Acorn wrote: »

You mentioned he never leaves the house for more than 20 mins.
Does he live alone? If so maybe he is just lonely, and his "helpful" (:pac:) suggestions are just an attempt to have some type of friendly interaction?

Do you have anybody living with you that you could invite him in for a cup of tea or something, and you just nip out to do your bits in the garden whilst he is busy chatting inside with the others?

If that can't happen, just thank him for his advice but go ahead and do what you want to do anyways. There's no need for an argument or anything about it.

He lives with his wife, and his 34-ish daughter calls around at least 5 times a week. He lives in the sitting room, and the wife lives in the kitchen,

(I wonder if the loss of analogue has affected them...)

Lando Griffin

The last time I offered to help a neighbour we ended up making love.
Never again.

bootybouncer

jesus lad you have little to be worrying about.............imagine having a gang of thugs beside ya........................maybe the oul gargle is getting to your brain