Lovely guy but no spark

LegacyUser

I have been seeing a lovely guy for 6 months. He is very shy and reserved but has made it clear he cares a great deal about me. He is trustworthy and kind. As an added bonus he is also very handsome!

What is tearing me apart is that I don't feel the 'spark', I did in the beginning then it slowly faded. Sometimes I even feel awkward around him, I find it hard to get a conversation flowing.

I don't know if it is because he is such a shy and reserved person that it will take a long time for him to fully open up and be himself around me.

It is difficult to have a real relationship, we have both graduated from college and are living back at home with our parents (trying to find jobs to pay rent!). So it is very difficult to have any alone time. I don't know if tis is the problem or not.

He is so nice I don't want to let him go, but am I just dragging him along if I don't feel that chemistry?

RubyWoo83

I'm not saying that the same thing will happen in your situation but I had a similar experience. Now I will say that I definitely loved him and did have a spark but it just wasn't enough to sustain us.

Now there were other factors to consider but I felt that what you describe is the one that really broke us. We were together over 3 years, things were fine at the beginning, we lived with friends and were always out etc so there was always people around and his quiet reserved nature wasn't such a big deal because I had lots of social interaction in my life.

Then we had a baby and moved into our own place and this is where things got tough. We were at that point where we saw less and less of our friends because we were busy with the baby, work & day to day routines. He didn't open up and he didn't talk to me and I felt really isolated. I ended up ending things 6 months before we were due to get married. It's a pity really, he is such a decent person and a great father.

Lorna123

I met a terribly shy guy and told my mother that I was giving him up after 6 months because he never initiated conversations and I found him a bit boring, but I persevered and now he is my husband and never stops talking !!! I have to say though that there was a spark there from the beginning but I thought that the spark wasn't enough, but it all turned out fine in the end. I say give it more time. You haven't had the ideal circumstances for a relationship yet, so don't throw it all in before it even gets started.

curlzy

Hey OP,

I'd be in the "give it more time" camp. I think you're only being sh*tty if you know you don't want to be with him but keep stringing him along.

At the moment you're just unsure of him, that's ok. So yeah that give him more time I'd say.

Best of luck.

dannyc31

i also agree. give it more time. you need to try spend alot of time together to know for sure if the spark is gone and that you feel you are entering the friends zone with him. try possibly go away for a few long weekends. if then after that you still feel the spark is gone and your attraction to him is getting less & less then its time to sit down and possibly discuss with him ending things to be honest.