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New car 13mph speed regulators available

  • 03-01-2013 10:49am
    #1
    Stallingrad
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,226 ✭✭✭


    All new cars sold from today will be fitted with engine regulators to eradicate all risks associated with travelling at 13mph.

    It is thought that moving at precisely 13mph can cause worrying conditions including self-doubt, immolation and/or net sadness. Car manufacturers have brought in specialist engineers to modify engines in this year’s batch of new cars so that they simply skip from 12 to 14mph with complete impunity.

    A spokesperson for the motor industry commented: “Safety is paramount. These measures are purely in the interest of the motoring public. As an industry we need to be seen as responsive, and also to realise that the Irish are basically idiots."


Comments

  • #2
    RustyNut
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,430 ✭✭✭RustyNut


    They will also attract a 13% tax of course :D


  • #3
    Mr Benevolent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,456 ✭✭✭✭Mr Benevolent


    Stallingrad wrote: »
    All new cars sold from today will be fitted with engine regulators to eradicate all risks associated with travelling at 13mph.

    It is thought that moving at precisely 13mph can cause worrying conditions including self-doubt, immolation and/or net sadness. Car manufacturers have brought in specialist engineers to modify engines in this year’s batch of new cars so that they simply skip from 12 to 14mph with complete impunity.

    A spokesperson for the motor industry commented: “Safety is paramount. These measures are purely in the interest of the motoring public. As an industry we need to be seen as responsive, and also to realise that the Irish are basically idiots."

    Ridiculous. Limiters should be set to 9mph. 13mph is too much of a danger to all.


  • #4
    langdang
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,857 ✭✭✭langdang


    All "exit 13" or "J13" on our road network shall now be referred to as Exit/Junction 131 from January to June and 132 for the rest of the year. It is expected that this segregation into two possible names could lead to some congestion as loads of people who wouldn't have really needed or wanted to use them, will suddenly be queuing up to use them under the new cooler naming convention.


  • #5
    keithclancy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,208 ✭✭✭keithclancy


    Stallingrad wrote: »
    All new cars sold from today will be fitted with engine regulators to eradicate all risks associated with travelling at 13mph.

    It is thought that moving at precisely 13mph can cause worrying conditions including self-doubt, immolation and/or net sadness. Car manufacturers have brought in specialist engineers to modify engines in this year’s batch of new cars so that they simply skip from 12 to 14mph with complete impunity.

    A spokesperson for the motor industry commented: “Safety is paramount. These measures are purely in the interest of the motoring public. As an industry we need to be seen as responsive, and also to realise that the Irish are basically idiots."

    Its too early to be drinkin ...


  • #6
    R.O.R
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,712 ✭✭✭✭R.O.R


    Should that not be 8.078046355 MPH? We are Metric for past 8 years you know.....


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  • #7
    corkgsxr
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,404 ✭✭✭corkgsxr


    i would have thought the dangers of speeding would be a tad over 13mph


  • #8
    galwaytt
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,822 ✭✭✭✭galwaytt


    Confab wrote: »
    Ridiculous. Limiters should be set to 9mph. 13mph is too much of a danger to all.

    Too right.

    ..'tis a well-know fact that above 10mph you cannot breathe, for the force of behind the wind.

    ...pioneer railway engineers had this to deal with, too :)

    Ode To The Motorist

    “And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, generates funds to the exchequer. You don't want to acknowledge that as truth because, deep down in places you don't talk about at the Green Party, you want me on that road, you need me on that road. We use words like freedom, enjoyment, sport and community. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent instilling those values in our families and loved ones. You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the tax revenue and the very freedom to spend it that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you pick up a bus pass and get the ********* ********* off the road” 



  • #9
    Henry Ford III
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators Posts: 17,858 Mod ✭✭✭✭Henry Ford III


    Learner permit holders limits will be substantially less.


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