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Backstabbing friends

  • 03-01-2013 2:21am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 31


    I have recently been left friendless(bar a few good ones) because of a friend who made it there mission to not include me in anything or talk bad about me when i am not around or anything now i have to start again and make a new group of friends people can be so mean i am very friendly and very trusting i think thats my problem ahh have you guys ever had many backstabbing friends ughh i think its because they were all 18 b4 me and have moved out life :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(


Comments

  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    I have recently been left friendless(bar a few good ones) because of a friend who made it there mission to not include me in anything or talk bad about me when i am not around or anything now i have to start again and make a new group of friends people can be so mean i am very friendly and very trusting i think thats my problem ahh have you guys ever had many backstabbing friends ughh i think its because they were all 18 b4 me and have moved out life :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

    I had people like that in my life at various times.
    A person soon learns to weed them out, stop giving them a call, etc.
    You move on and be the better for it. Stick with them and there's a risk you'll end up like them.
    No thanks.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,634 ✭✭✭Aint Eazy Being Cheezy


    Like if yuhhh criedddd :`(( XxxxxxxxX


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 555 ✭✭✭Hippies!


    This isn't facebook, i'm not a hormonal teenager and I dont care about your problems.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,379 ✭✭✭hefferboi


    Yungwan haha. Bebo stunnah.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 31 yungwan1k94


    Biggins wrote: »
    I had people like that in my life at various times.
    A person soon learns to weed them out, stop giving them a call, etc.
    You move on and be the better for it. Stick with them and there's a risk you'll end up like them.
    No thanks.

    But Know they have left me out and know i am lonely they have been leaving me out on purpose and things like that and meeting new people is just gonna take some tiime


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 31 yungwan1k94


    hefferboi wrote: »
    Yungwan haha. Bebo stunnah.

    It was the only Name that went through to be honest like haha i know :D:D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,230 ✭✭✭✭B.A._Baracus


    Bar those few close friends, the majority of people we meet and class as 'friends' in our lives are just glorified acquaintances.

    There is an element of "whats in it for me?" with the above. Sure the classic tale - Guy is single. Always hanging with the mates. Guy meets girl. Suddenly has no time for mates. Guy breaks up with girl. Around the mates again.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 31 yungwan1k94


    Hippies! wrote: »
    This isn't facebook, i'm not a hormonal teenager and I dont care about your problems.
    like the name though doesn't match your character


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    But Know they have left me out and know i am lonely they have been leaving me out on purpose and things like that and meeting new people is just gonna take some tiime

    Sorry to hear your being treated that way.

    Its hard - but also look at the present time as an opportunity to move forwards and if wished, to re-invent yourself with better friends and greater oppertunities.

    If the old mob is not around, your no longer chasing after them to be with them, you have gained a further chance to move forward with your life into areas you were possibly time limited before.

    Do you have any hobbies (photography, writing, sport, etc?) or if there ones you would like to get interested in?
    Join those and while chatting, ask where everyone drinks. You don't need to tell any new friends your full life story about previous fools that turn out to be bad friends - just say that you wanted a change of direction in your life and wished to move on.
    Try to jump in at the deep end and look into that (or similar) alone - in the meantime maybe looking up volunteer groups in or beyond your area might be a thought too?

    If you have more free time - you start doing the things you always wanted to do but was previously too distracted.
    Good people will find you because believe me, your not on your own by far.
    There is other good people looking for decent friends too whom are also tired of those that might be holding them back.
    New good friends will soon find each other out of self-mutual interest alone.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    Life is much simpler without friends, strangers are just as good people as 'friends'


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,785 ✭✭✭Ihatecuddles-old


    There's a personal issues forum. You'll never last in AH!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,854 ✭✭✭Sinfonia


    I have recently been left friendless(bar a few good ones)

    Many people would kill to have three good friends.

    So don't worry about it. Hanging out in a large clique is the worst.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    There's a personal issues forum. You'll never last in AH!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,681 ✭✭✭ColeTrain


    Oh yuck, not her again. Time to log out.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 555 ✭✭✭Hippies!


    like the name though doesn't match your character

    See my name is like Hippies!....as in i'm calling you people Hippies in a derogatory sense but it doesn't work :/ that was my intention though, anyway have a nice 2013 alone :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 31 yungwan1k94


    Hippies! wrote: »
    See my name is like Hippies!....as in i'm calling you people Hippies in a derogatory sense but it doesn't work :/ that was my intention though, anyway have a nice 2013 alone :)
    yea I will thank you x


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,634 ✭✭✭Aint Eazy Being Cheezy


    Thread title is misleading. If it's just one girl trying to cut you out could you not bypass her?

    For example lets say Megan, Stacey and Rosewater are planning on going to shopping@dundrum for a storbucks and Megan is the one trying to cut you out, couldn't you just text one of the other two and get her mom to collect you in her range rover?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    Focus on the few good friends that you do have. Better to have a few good friends than loads of friends who aren't really anything more than drinking buddies.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    Hippies! wrote: »
    This isn't facebook, i'm not a hormonal teenager and I dont care about your problems.

    Hoi, fuk U!! :mad:


















    :(


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,230 ✭✭✭✭B.A._Baracus


    Hippies! wrote: »
    This isn't facebook, i'm not a hormonal teenager and I dont care about your problems.


    Boards.ie is funny
    You can be rude as fuck to someone but insult them in the slightest and get banned :pac:


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    orestes wrote: »
    Check out the Personal Issues forum or the Clearasil and hormones forum, they might be able to help you out a bit more than After Hours.

    Feckin' no good backseat modder :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 555 ✭✭✭Hippies!


    1ZRed wrote: »
    Hoi, fuk U!!


    :P


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 555 ✭✭✭Hippies!


    Boards.ie is funny
    You can be rude as fuck to someone but insult them in the slightest and get banned :pac:

    I think it says don't be a dick somewhere in the holy charter though, thin ice and skating is moi :(


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,106 ✭✭✭catallus


    Hippies! wrote: »
    See my name is like Hippies!....as in i'm calling you people Hippies in a derogatory sense but it doesn't work :/ that was my intention though, anyway have a nice 2013 alone :)

    That doesn't work at all at all. It's more like you like hippies.

    Do you like hippies, Hippies! ? Bad Hippy.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,230 ✭✭✭✭B.A._Baracus


    Hippies! wrote: »
    I think it says don't be a dick somewhere in the holy charter though, thin ice and skating is moi :(


    Ahhh you'll be grand. Mods on here have selected vision :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 555 ✭✭✭Hippies!


    catallus wrote: »
    That doesn't work at all at all. It's more like you like hippies.

    Do you like hippies, Hippies! ? Bad Hippy.

    I thought the angry cow face avatar thing would seal the deal. But yeah I've accepted it doesn't work :( No, I didn't like Hippies but they're growing on me now, I'm thinking of growing my hair and joining a commune.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 31 yungwan1k94


    Hippies! wrote: »
    I thought the angry cow face avatar thing would seal the deal. But yeah I've accepted it doesn't work :( No, I didn't like Hippies but they're growing on me now, I'm thinking of growing my hair and joining a commune.
    haa


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    I have recently been left friendless(bar a few good ones) because of a friend who made it there mission to not include me in anything or talk bad about me when i am not around or anything now i have to start again and make a new group of friends people can be so mean i am very friendly and very trusting i think thats my problem ahh have you guys ever had many backstabbing friends ughh i think its because they were all 18 b4 me and have moved out life :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

    If they make it their mission to exclude you and then bad mouth you then aren't you all the better to have been done away with them? Doubt they were much of friends to begin with if they could just abandon you so easily and most likely just do it because the rest in the group are too.

    I know it's probably a shít situation to be in and you'll see it that way, but if you've done feck all wrong then see it that way, and don't waste so much time unhappy that they excluded you because why would you want to be around people that act so childishly anyway?

    Best to stick to your few good mates as one of them is worth 100 of the other "friends" you were hanging around with and that's what counts.

    You're 18 and that leaves plenty of opportunities for making new friends and if you're in college, or if that's next year or whatever, then you'll be grand on that front if you're the friendly and trusting person you say they are. And then you'll be laughing once you're the one with genuine and trusting friends around you and not false ones like them.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,726 ✭✭✭✭CianRyan


    The OP claims to be 18, yet her name would suggest she's actually 1018.
    Op, you're devious.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,372 ✭✭✭im invisible


    You keep using that letter, I do not think it means what you think it means


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 31 yungwan1k94


    CianRyan wrote: »
    The OP claims to be 18, yet her name would suggest she's actually 1018.
    Op, you're devious.
    loooool hahaa you know i actually i did not choose this name it was a joke from afriend and haha


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    loooool hahaa you know i actually i did not choose this name it was a joke from afriend and haha

    Just judging from that alone I say that was one of the bad friends


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,372 ✭✭✭im invisible


    With friends like that... Oh wait :/


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 31 yungwan1k94


    1ZRed wrote: »
    Just judging from that alone I say that was one of the bad friends
    lol true they wer some bitch ass mofo's


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    I thank jebus I'm not an 18 year old girl


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,634 ✭✭✭Aint Eazy Being Cheezy


    I notice you've started some other threads in the hip hop forum and another one about college meetups. That's a great start, a lot of boardsie's are nice, genuine folks (except me, Im a crank!)

    Feck the bullies OP and move on, im sure you'll do just fine :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 31 yungwan1k94


    I notice you've started some other threads in the hip hop forum and another one about college meetups. That's a great start, a lot of boardsie's are nice, genuine folks (except me, Im a crank!)

    Feck the bullies OP and move on, im sure you'll do just fine :)
    for a crank your really nice


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,798 ✭✭✭✭hatrickpatrick


    Welcome to my world, OP. The crowd I used to hang out with were absolutely toxic. Two faced, cowardly, dishonest, and a few of them were just genuine pr!cks who got a kick out of making people miserable.

    What was hilarious about these lads was their persistent spineless refusal to admit that anything was up. Rather than be straight with me to my face, they preferred to arrange for me to be kept in the dark about everything, even though through the magic of having mutual friends I always ended up finding out anyway, and then they'd come crawling back time and time again to "apologize" and assure me I'd got it all wrong.

    Probably the funniest instance was when a massive gang of our mates were heading to Rosslare for the weekend. They decided, I sh!t you not, "Hey let's make sure Paddy doesn't find out about this". They decided to call the trip "Project Hide-Away" and would write not-so-cryptic statuses all over Facebook saying things like "Can't want for Project Hide-Away next weekend!"
    I heard about Rosslare obviously from another of our friends, but as it happened I was too sick to go. I honestly didn't realize the conspiracy was directed at me although I did register dimly that it was a bit odd that none of my actual crowd had said it to me, but whatever. I had the flu that weekend so couldn't go anyway.

    Day they came back, I Facebooked my friend (we'll call him Jimbo, not his real name) and said "Hey, did ye have a good weekend in Rosslare? Any craic?". He replied to me and said "Nah was fairly boring really". Five seconds later, on the home page of Facebook, I see the following: Jimbo -> Paul "CODE RED ON OPERATION HIDE AWAY". To say I was pissed would be an understatement. I called him out on it and then came the usual flood of bullsh!t with him saying stuff like "I didn't want to do it, I got dragged into this etc etc, it'll never happen again, come out tomorrow night won't you?".

    This went on for about a year and a half, this sort of bipolar "one minute we don't want to know Paddy, then the next minute we're all going to text him constantly all night to try and get him to come to the free gaff". It was almost as if they didn't want me around, but they also couldn't bear the idea that someone would willingly choose to just walk away from them.

    One final incident in June 2011 ended it for me once and for all. One of the lads was having a 21st. This was a guy who I thought was one of my best mates and who had actually played drums for the craic at my 21st the previous summer, I'd been to Thailand with him, etc etc etc. He explicitly said to the rest of the lads (there were about maybe 10 or 11 of us) "I don't want Paddy finding out about my 21st, if he asks just don't text back". All of them readily complied with this. However, as usual, I heard about it from mutual friends who didn't realize there was anything wrong with texting me asking if they'd be seeing me at his 21st. I texted a few of the lads just to basically tell them they were scum for once again screwing me over, and the guy "Paul" from the previous Project Hide Away incident tried to text a different Paddy to make fun of the fact that I'd copped it, he sent the text to me instead, and finally with the full extent of the backstabbing laid bare I burned all my bridges with them and I haven't looked back once.

    Now for the surprising part - these lads were all 21 or 22 at the time of the aforementioned incidents. You wouldn't see this kind of immature sh!te from a clique of 13 year old schoolgirls, to get it from grown lads is just hilarious. In all honesty, that final incident with the text didn't even make me mad, I was p!ssing myself laughing while reading it! I almost feel sorry for "Paul" that he screwed up so bad, I mean we've all been there in terms of texting the wrong person I'm sure >_>

    Seriously OP. Making a clean break is the best decision you'll ever make. It's not easy, don't get me wrong here - it will ache bitterly every time you see photos of everyone hanging out together on Facebook and you know you can't be part of it, but then you'll remember that whenever you did hang out in those photos, you were probably being dissed the second your back was turned. After that, walking away doesn't seem nearly as difficult.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 31 yungwan1k94


    Welcome to my world, OP. The crowd I used to hang out with were absolutely toxic. Two faced, cowardly, dishonest, and a few of them were just genuine pr!cks who got a kick out of making people miserable.

    What was hilarious about these lads was their persistent spineless refusal to admit that anything was up. Rather than be straight with me to my face, they preferred to arrange for me to be kept in the dark about everything, even though through the magic of having mutual friends I always ended up finding out anyway, and then they'd come crawling back time and time again to "apologize" and assure me I'd got it all wrong.

    Probably the funniest instance was when a massive gang of our mates were heading to Rosslare for the weekend. They decided, I sh!t you not, "Hey let's make sure Paddy doesn't find out about this". They decided to call the trip "Project Hide-Away" and would write not-so-cryptic statuses all over Facebook saying things like "Can't want for Project Hide-Away next weekend!"
    I heard about Rosslare obviously from another of our friends, but as it happened I was too sick to go. I honestly didn't realize the conspiracy was directed at me although I did register dimly that it was a bit odd that none of my actual crowd had said it to me, but whatever. I had the flu that weekend so couldn't go anyway.

    Day they came back, I Facebooked my friend (we'll call him Jimbo, not his real name) and said "Hey, did ye have a good weekend in Rosslare? Any craic?". He replied to me and said "Nah was fairly boring really". Five seconds later, on the home page of Facebook, I see the following: Jimbo -> Paul "CODE RED ON OPERATION HIDE AWAY". To say I was pissed would be an understatement. I called him out on it and then came the usual flood of bullsh!t with him saying stuff like "I didn't want to do it, I got dragged into this etc etc, it'll never happen again, come out tomorrow night won't you?".

    This went on for about a year and a half, this sort of bipolar "one minute we don't want to know Paddy, then the next minute we're all going to text him constantly all night to try and get him to come to the free gaff". It was almost as if they didn't want me around, but they also couldn't bear the idea that someone would willingly choose to just walk away from them.

    One final incident in June 2011 ended it for me once and for all. One of the lads was having a 21st. This was a guy who I thought was one of my best mates and who had actually played drums for the craic at my 21st the previous summer, I'd been to Thailand with him, etc etc etc. He explicitly said to the rest of the lads (there were about maybe 10 or 11 of us) "I don't want Paddy finding out about my 21st, if he asks just don't text back". All of them readily complied with this. However, as usual, I heard about it from mutual friends who didn't realize there was anything wrong with texting me asking if they'd be seeing me at his 21st. I texted a few of the lads just to basically tell them they were scum for once again screwing me over, and the guy "Paul" from the previous Project Hide Away incident tried to text a different Paddy to make fun of the fact that I'd copped it, he sent the text to me instead, and finally with the full extent of the backstabbing laid bare I burned all my bridges with them and I haven't looked back once.

    Now for the surprising part - these lads were all 21 or 22 at the time of the aforementioned incidents. You wouldn't see this kind of immature sh!te from a clique of 13 year old schoolgirls, to get it from grown lads is just hilarious. In all honesty, that final incident with the text didn't even make me mad, I was p!ssing myself laughing while reading it! I almost feel sorry for "Paul" that he screwed up so bad, I mean we've all been there in terms of texting the wrong person I'm sure >_>

    Seriously OP. Making a clean break is the best decision you'll ever make. It's not easy, don't get me wrong here - it will ache bitterly every time you see photos of everyone hanging out together on Facebook and you know you can't be part of it, but then you'll remember that whenever you did hang out in those photos, you were probably being dissed the second your back was turned. After that, walking away doesn't seem nearly as difficult.
    thank you so much has cleared alot of things up for me


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 829 ✭✭✭xLexie


    My friend?

    She's a backstabbing, twofaced heeeeeur.


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