Was this abuse?

LegacyUser

I'm a girl in her mid-twenties, and recently a memory keeps coming back to me from childhood. I can't make up my mind as to whether or not it was sexual abuse...I suppose I feel like it was...

When I was 4 or 5, a girl from my road (older, she was maybe 8 or 9) made me kiss her and touched me intimately. I know she did this despite me asking her not to, I guess I was too scared or confused to put up a fight.

I know in recent years she is an out lesbian, so I wondered if this was her experimenting or trying to come to terms with it as a child.

I've been struggling with depression in the last year and have been thinking back to my childhood a lot, and this one keeps coming up in my head...

I just don't know what to do with this memory..

Esoteric_

Honestly, I don't know whether it was or wasn't. It was definitely inappropriate, but we don't know if she knew what she was doing was wrong or sexual. I guess it depends on whether or not she knew it was wrong.

Either way, you clearly feel violated (and understandably so). Have you considered talking to somebody about it, even to clear it up in your own mind, so that you can come to terms with it?

Strawberry Fields

just one legal point the youngest someone can be charged with rape or aggravated sexual assault is 10 as an exception to 12 generally.

I wish you the best of luck dealing with the mental element of what happened.
Maybe try some therapy to be in the present a bit more. I know it's tough with depression I've a lot of horrible memories myself.

a posse ad esse

This incident happened to you years ago but the question now is how does this memory affect you today? Is it making you scared, depressed angry or inability to be productive? If the memory keeps coming back and it hinders you from functioning a normal healthy life you need to speak about this with a therapist.

As far as the memory it is going to stay with you. The therapy is going to help this memory from having a negative impact on your life. You cannot erase what happened to you but you can learn to live with what happened and you move on and have a productive healthy life.

Lorna123

Lots of kids experiment with this kind of thing but that's all it is, it is not abuse just kids playing around. It is very common.

tony81

Justdon'tknow wrote: »

I've been struggling with depression in the last year and have been thinking back to my childhood a lot, and this one keeps coming up in my head...

I don't mean to be flippant, however I'd like to present an alternative view.

Be careful not to blow that one incident out of all proportion.

It would not be healthy to get into the mindset of saying "if that hadn't have happened my life would be so much different and I wouldn't suffer from depression." The worst thing a depressed person can do is stew in past events. I often hear tragic souls on the radio being "brave" enough to talk publicly about abuse they suffered.. all too often it's "and then i lost my job. and then i had a miscarriage. then my husband left me.. then my mother died... " and they trace everything back to a traumatic childhood incident. In effect they remain a victim all their lives long after the abuse (or alleged abuse) has stopped.

Counselling or therapy might help you get through your difficult time. Just be careful looking for a boogeyman because usually they only exist in the mind.