He doesn't want me to go down on him - always going down on me

LegacyUser

Hey,

So my boyfriend loves going down on me, really loves it. I love it too, but he doesn't like me going down on him. He trys to avoid it as much as possible, but will let me and pretend to like it. But he doesn't really.

Why would this be? My last boyfriend loved it, but wasnt so much into going down on me.

His penis is about average, maybe slightly smaller but thicker. He just doesnt seem to like me getting to close to it.

Neyite

Why would you do it to him if he doesnt want it? Just because your ex liked it, does not mean this guy does. Everybody is different

It could be that he is shy, or it could be your technique turns him off, or just that there are better ways for him to get turned on, and oral sex does nothing for him. You need to ask him, and preferably ask outside the bedroom.

ArtyC

Every bodies different. If he doesn't like it I think that's grand. My boyfriend doesn't like tongues when kissing. Bothered me a bit at first but I then realised it doesn't really affect our relationship at all. It's just preference

blatantrereg

I agree that it probably just does nothing for him. I'd guess he avoids it because he doesn't want you to feel bad as a result of him losing arousal during it.

dannyc31

Hey,

So my boyfriend loves going down on me, really loves it. I love it too, but he doesn't like me going down on him. He trys to avoid it as much as possible, but will let me and pretend to like it. But he doesn't really.

Why would this be? My last boyfriend loved it, but wasnt so much into going down on me.

His penis is about average, maybe slightly smaller but thicker. He just doesnt seem to like me getting to close to it.

and this is a complaint? jesus i wish i could claim many a girlfriend who complained about the same issue with myself but sadly not :P

but on a serious note, he may actually be self conscience about the size of his penis. men tend to watch alot of porn and are therefore measuring themselves up to porn stars who are not the norm in size. he may feel that if you were down on him you would feel he was not big at all which would cause him to loose an errection in turn causing him to be even smaller. this may actually of happened in the past with an ex and so he has a hang up about it. you could try talk to him about that otherwise if its the early stages of the relationship, i wouldnt push it just be happy he's happy to be doing you in return as many a guy tries to avoid at all costs.

IKO

As a male I find it totally shocking that he does not like it, very odd. Have you actually asked him why directly? Where is the open communication???

GRMA

You might be crap at it, or his ex might have been, it only takes one incident with teeth to put you off it for a long time!

Or he just might not like it, there are numerous reasons, all perfectly legitimate, why. He mightnt like the idea of kissing you after, he might be afraid of climaxing quickly or on you, there are tons of possible readons. And to be honest I don't think you need, or have any right to know why. All you need to know is that he doesn't like it, and that's the end of it.

sffc

dannyc31 wrote: »

and this is a complaint? jesus i wish i could claim many a girlfriend who complained about the same issue with myself but sadly not :P

but on a serious note, he may actually be self conscience about the size of his penis. men tend to watch alot of porn and are therefore measuring themselves up to porn stars who are not the norm in size. he may feel that if you were down on him you would feel he was not big at all which would cause him to loose an errection in turn causing him to be even smaller. this may actually of happened in the past with an ex and so he has a hang up about it. you could try talk to him about that otherwise if its the early stages of the relationship, i wouldnt push it just be happy he's happy to be doing you in return and many a guy tries to avoid at all costs.

OP as the last poster suggested many many women give oral grudgingly or just don't full stop. Consequently some guys including me for a long time felt that if a partner was giving me oral sex it was for my benefit only and she wasn't getting any enjoyment out of it. He may feel this way and feel guilty.
Another possibility is you are showing a little too much teeth to his manhood - he is thicker you said! !
Lastly though the best thing is to talk! Agree by the way it needs to be outside the bedroom.

Wibbs

IKO wrote: »

As a male I find it totally shocking that he does not like it, very odd.

Well as a fellow male, I can take it or leave it TBH. The odd time I get something from it, but I defo prefer other stuff. I must be odd too

Have you actually asked him why directly? Where is the open communication???

I'd be in agreement here alright. The more communication the better the intimacy and sex is a good general rule IMHO.

IKO

I don't want to call anyone odd or make personal judgements. I just don't understand it but there is a reason for everything in life if you look close enough. There are so many different people in the world and we are all made different and like different stuff. Terrible as it may sound but I do not think I would not last long with a woman if she refused to perform it.

shalalala

When i first got with my current partner I hated him going down on me. It was because I was bruised by a comment that a previous partner had said to me.

I finally confided in my OH and he reassured me. Now I love it! It is all about open communication. Now maybe he doesn't enjoy it that much but I cannot imagine him hating it.

I am deffo not the best at giving it but my partner still gets some enjoyment out of it.

afterglow

Hi There
To be honest, if he doesn't like it, odd and all as it may be to you, i'd just make your peace with it, if you can, and get on with enjoying your relationship. Know that him not liking aural is no reflection on you at all, if it really bothers you that much, like others have said, talk to him, but honestly i wouldn't worry about it. I'd say most girls have the oposite problem to you, meaning, partner wants aural, and the girl doesn't want to give it, so if i were you i'd just try to put this aside and get on with enjoying being with your partner. Hope you didn't mind me writing, and the very best of luck to you.

Overheal

My partner introduced me to this interesting habit of hers where - surprise - she likes to talk about sex, after sex. She'll say what she liked, say what could use work, and asks me to do the same. I'll admit it's a little intimidating to tell them they could stand to improve somewhere, but until you tell them they don't know something isn't doing it for you. As far as oral goes, she hasn't even let me yet as she's been clear it doesn't do anything for her based on numerous past experiences; even though she's gone down a few times but frankly I'm just not that sensitive to it or she's just being to gentle about it - but guess who has to tell her that.