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Is it too soon?

  • 01-01-2013 10:18pm
    #1
    Goldenlady
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 342 ✭✭


    ok so im looking for a bit of advice.....
    I broke up with my long term partner after 8 years in October, basically we both wanted different things, I wanted a future with marriage (possibly) and kids(definitely) but he had been there done that with his ex wife so didnt want it again. He had been up front about this since we met but I was only 25 when we met so it wasnt an issue then, now at 33 i realise what I want!

    So the situation is, I suppose I knew for a long time it would end, and it was just a case of when.... and it came in October. We are still friends in a sense, the odd email and text here and there. Amicable break up if thats possible.

    So there is this guy, i worked with him a long time ago, we went out for a few months and stayed friends when we broke up. A couple of years back my LT relationship went sour and we broke up for a little bit and I ended up with this guy but went back to LT relationship and left the guy again! We remained friends again and have doen for the last number of years... we were in contact all through, not very regular but still in contact. A couple of times he asked if I was happy and that he still thought of me etc. So fast forward to end of LT relationship... I text him to tell him its over... we text for a few weeks and finally met up over week end and chatted for hours.... we had a little kiss at end of night.

    I suppose I am wondering if its too soon..... I dont want to hurt this guy again, and I dont want to be hurt again so soon. We are planning to meet again this week end, I told him I want us to be friends and take our time and if something happens then we will let it happen....

    Im just a little confused... I know I wont go back with my ex, thats run its course... but I just wonder is it too soon to move on. Its only been 10 weeks since we broke up and obviously being together for so long means most of my stories involve times when we were together, or holidays or anything he seems to be in it. I know there is no set rule about moving on.....

    Would just like peoples opinions.....


Comments

  • #2
    girl2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 654 ✭✭✭girl2


    Hello

    In my opinion, it really is much too soon. I don't think 10 weeks is enough time to recover and grieve for what you have lost with your ex. I know everyone is different, but 8 years with the one person is a very long time…what you are looking for is comfort and not wanting to be alone right now.

    To be fair to the other guy (and to yourself), you should really take a step back and breathe, just take some time to be alone and feel the loss of the relationship you have lost.

    Hope it all goes ok for you OP.

    (Plus, I could be totally wrong, but that's just my opinion).


  • #3
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    I think if you need to ask for a second opinion, you aren't ready.

    As it was a very amicable break up and you had plenty of advance notice, you've perhaps come much of the way towards coming to terms with breaking up and moving on...but I'd say you'll know yourself when you're ready and you won't need to ask anyone, you'll know it's the right time.

    Given you've messed this guy around a bit before, if you are serious about pursuing him again, I'd give yourself a bit more time to get used to and enjoy being single before throwing yourself into another committed relationship.

    All the best. :cool:


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