Is he interested does he like me??? confused

ann100

I went to a pub Christmas eve. It was my local.
And there was a man singing there. After he finished playing and was talking to him.
He asked me where was he spending Christmas day and asked what was I doing. I told him. He told me he was from Dublin. And told me he has a pub in spain.
I pass a coment saying that wont leave me alone all night. And he reply “I say you get at Christmas and that you are a good looking woman”
He said come in the next time I am playing.
And then he wish me happy Christmas and gave me a kiss on the cheek when leaving.
So the next day or so I look up his webpage of his band and added him on facebook.
I sent a message saying:
Me: Happy new year 2013!!!
michael: nearly !! you having a good xmas
Me: yeah having a good one and you?
thanks for the add
michael: your welcome, yeah just talking it easy after long run of gigs
Me: ah thats good. you playing new years eve
michael: , In a pub in kilkenny owned by my friends , do there every year !!!
Me:aright
michael: You drink in o loughlins a lot ?
Me: sometimes
will be out new years eve.
michael: the manager said he will give me some more gigs in jan so might see you there ???
Me: aright might see you in o loughlins
michael: cool you have a good new year !
Me: and same to you
michael:thanks
The next Me:

Me: did you ever play in laois
michael: sorry dont know where that is was living in spain for 15 years so not too familair with Ireland
Me:not far from ??
michael: no but would love too some day , you know any publicans down there ask can i have a gig and ill play there !
Me: yeah well i am from laois originally. so u having a good night..
michael:if you know anyone there ask for me or get me the number and ill call them
Me: ok i wil ask can give you the number either
michael:better if you ask being a local and all , did you like my singing ?
Me: yeah no bother. yeah its was good in oloughlins the other night
michael: thanks
Me:your welcome
The next day
Me:well how are u
michael: dying
Me: well ok you are ok. did u have a good time at the races.
michael: great won 3 out of four races then got completely wasted
Me:grand you won something. what race will you win in oloughlins ha
michael: to the bar
Ann:whos going to buy the first drink ha
michael: always me
Me:looking forward to hearing you in oloughlins
michael: ahh thanks
Me:your welcome,
Me:night
michael: night sleep well
Me: you too

squonk

Hi OP, I don't fully understand your post but to me it looks like he's being friendly and networking somewhat to build up a venue list. Yeah he throws the odd compliment your way which is nice but to me it's nothing more than being friendly tbh.

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squonk wrote: »

Hi OP, I don't fully understand your post but to me it looks like he's being friendly and networking somewhat to build up a venue list. Yeah he throws the odd compliment your way which is nice but to me it's nothing more than being friendly tbh.

I would agree with this poster. Doesn't seem to be anything more than friendliness on his part. I wouldn't read anything else into it if it were me.

Esoteric_

Typical musician talk. He wants to expand his venue and network list so will chat and get friendly with everyone. I don't think he DISlikes you, but I don't think he likes you as more than a mate, either.

ann100

maybe he playing hard to get

Esoteric_

ann100 wrote: »

maybe he playing hard to get

I really don't think that's it. He just sounds like a normal musician, trying to make some contacts. If you think that, though, you can always ask him out for a drink.

Meauldsegosha

OP it looks like he is being friendly and trying to build up contacts for his music. I don't think he's playing hard to get, tbh I don't think most men play that game.

There's no harm in asking him out if you want to pursue it further though. Good luck.

scarymoon1

would someone who didnt fancy you say hope to see you in the pub again??! Id say pursue it OP

ann100

thanks meauldsegosha and scarymoon want to ring or message him but dont know how to approach it maybe i wait untill hes playing what ye all think

scarymoon1

ann100 wrote: »

thanks meauldsegosha and scarymoon want to ring or message him but dont know how to approach it maybe i wait untill hes playing what ye all think

Id say wait until hes playing again in the pub as he did say he might see you there? Turn up with some friends - have a good time while looking hot so he notices you again

daisybelle2008

Hard to know OP. I would say though that you may come across a bit too keen and intense, that could scare off potential. Your comment that he may be just playing hard to get is a bit weird.

Stavro Mueller

I'm amazed that you have posted such specific, private information on a public website. Talk about a lack of discretion. If I was this guy and knew that you had done that, I'd certainly not want to have anything to do with you.

As an aside, it is hard to know what's going on. Musicians sometimes do have people coming up to chat to them after gigs so he might be just saying stuff to you that he says to other people as well. Or maybe he does like you more - who knows?

scarymoon1

cymbaline wrote: »

I'm amazed that you have posted such specific, private information on a public website. Talk about a lack of discretion. If I was this guy and knew that you had done that, I'd certainly not want to have anything to do with you.

As an aside, it is hard to know what's going on. Musicians sometimes do have people coming up to chat to them after gigs so he might be just saying stuff to you that he says to other people as well. Or maybe he does like you more - who knows?

that's why boards is anonymous - he will never know she posted here!

Meauldsegosha

scarymoon1 wrote: »

that's why boards is anonymous - he will never know she posted here!

It's not that anonymous and there is a lot of identifying detail in the first post.

scarymoon1

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

It's not that anonymous and there is a lot of identifying detail in the first post.

I guess so - hope he doesn't use boards so lol

armitage1971

To me OP it seems just like friendly banter honestly wouldnt be reading too much into it.

Missy Moo Moo

Going by the conversation you've posted, it looks like you're making all the effort, I'd say he's being polite in his replies to be honest.

Back off a bit and see what happens, you're coming across as a bit intense. It's too early for matey "how are things" messages, you're trying to force things too quickly. I'm not saying he's not interested, he might be, but back off and let things happen organically if they're going to happen.

You could keep chatting to him in a meandering , how are you fashion but that will tell you precisely nothing. You'll never know if he's just being polite and you'll drive yourself mad by reading into what he says. As I said, back off a bit and see what happens.

ElleEm

I agree with Cymbaline. There was really no need to post every word of your chats here. I find it bizarre and a bit immature.

It seems like you are doing the chasing, and he is being polite, but like LyndaMcL says, it seems like he is being a friendly musician type, happy to have a fan and the opportunity of another network for possible gigs.

Esoteric_

ElleEm wrote: »

I agree with Cymbaline. There was really no need to post every word of your chats here. I find it bizarre and a bit immature.

It seems like you are doing the chasing, and he is being polite, but like LyndaMcL says, it seems like he is being a friendly musician type, happy to have a fan and the opportunity of another network for possible gigs.

Agreed 100%. I find it a little scary that you posted entire conversations, to be honest. It makes you very easily identifiable if he is a member of boards.

Aside from that, when I say he's just networking, I really mean it. I dated a musician for a few years and when he gigged, any 'fan' that messaged him, he would have a similar conversation with, because it was a great way to get new contacts. He was even asking you about getting gigs in another bar, clearly he's trying to network!

It seems as though you're coming on way too strongly if I'm being honest. Back off, let him contact you. If he wants to see you, he'll make some effort to message you.

EoghanIRL

squonk wrote: »

I don't fully understand your post.

This

squonk

ann100 wrote: »

thanks meauldsegosha and scarymoon want to ring or message him but dont know how to approach it maybe i wait untill hes playing what ye all think

Weighing back in here OP as it seems you're a bit hell bent on this and taking on board only opinions that suit what you want to hear. No problem with that per se, we all want to hope from time to time.

Are you familiar with the Irish term Plámás? It means flattery or sweet talk. In my neck of the woods it's also known as soft talk. Telling you you're a good looking woman is just that, a bit of flattery to keep you on side and make you predisposed to find him likable. That's his job, he wants to get some venues for a gigs circuit so it's all part of the job. He's not being unkind or leading you on but you need to have a tougher skin for this kind of thing. Also by telling you to drop in next time he's in town, he's thinking you'll have a few with you. That's more potential contacts. I'm sure he's also happy you enjoy his music so why wouldn't he say to come along next time?

Another point to note is that musicians aren't usually stuck for the want of female attention. Look at the front rows of the next gig you're at for instance. I'm not much of a musician myself but I can certainly testify that when I've been on form, the magic has certainly worked so bear th in mind as well. He's used to the attention nd probably figures that getting the girls on side is a good start to getting an 'in' at a venue. In this he's doing nothing wrong. He's not going out of his way to lead you on or use you in any particular way bar being sociable, friendly etc.

I think you need to cool the jets OP. By all means go see him next time but don't ring him or get overly IM'y before that. Try to be less naive and stand back nd realize the harmless enough game going on here.

Ultimately I'd say there's a 5% chance he's into you. 95% says he isn't, or is already spoken for etc.

Fluorescence

I'd recommend you remove your PM log from the first post. Many people would be furious to have that posted on a public forum without their knowledge/consent. Even if he wouldn't mind, it smacks a bit of immaturity on your part.

Anyway, he just seems friendly. Maybe he's into you, but like squonk said, I think it's about a 5% chance. You're coming across overly keen as it is.

LegacyUser

To be honest he's just a musician - that's what they do. nice and polite and have a bit of banter - everything in your messages with him is general nothing specific towards you - if he plays in a few bars - he might not even remember who you are.

Not trying to be harsh here but have girls chatting away to my boyfriend (also musician) - he thinks they're being friendly - they think they're in - wouldn't read into this at all.

He's networking - trying to establish a crowd in the local - if you drink there a lot you will mention to staff he was good when is he playing again - you'll bring your mates etc - bar staff think great! give him a call - bang he gets another gig. no malice on his part - not doing anything wrong - but you think something is there when in fact there isn't.

Don't know if you've even seen the film - he's not that into you - as they say - if a guy is interested in you he will make it happen.

scarymoon1

musicianshaha wrote: »

To be honest he's just a musician - that's what they do. nice and polite and have a bit of banter - everything in your messages with him is general nothing specific towards you - if he plays in a few bars - he might not even remember who you are.

Not trying to be harsh here but have girls chatting away to my boyfriend (also musician) - he thinks they're being friendly - they think they're in - wouldn't read into this at all.

He's networking - trying to establish a crowd in the local - if you drink there a lot you will mention to staff he was good when is he playing again - you'll bring your mates etc - bar staff think great! give him a call - bang he gets another gig. no malice on his part - not doing anything wrong - but you think something is there when in fact there isn't.

Don't know if you've even seen the film - he's not that into you - as they say - if a guy is interested in you he will make it happen.

i wouldnt agree with the bit 'if a guy is interested he will make it happen' A guy recently told me why didnt I tell him sooner I liked him as he didnt know and didnt know if I was attached etc. Like girls, guys can be shy and unsure too. But regarding the OP dilemma, I dont know if he's interested anymore judging from others posts. I don't know any musicians and don't know much about 'networking'