Drugs in houseshare

LegacyUser

I share a house with a friend. We're two very different people and have been getting on each other's nerves more as time goes on. He does soft drugs and has sometimes done them with his friends in the house. A while back he moved onto ecstasy. He did it outside the house but kept it in the house. I wasn't really comfortable with this, but I only found out after it was gone so I never said anything.

Recently he told me he wanted to have some friends over to do LSD. I said no and he said ok. Which is decent I guess, but I've no idea if he's planning on keeping this stuff in the house again.

I'm not sure how to approach this. I'm the type of person who's never touched drugs, heck I've never smoked a cigarette. I also have a tendency to overreact to things at times, but pretty much anyone I've talked to, including some very laid back people have felt this isn't a good situation. Some have suggested I move out, now. Is that too drastic? Or should i just ride out the remaining 6 months of the lease? I'm in a profession where any association with drugs wouldn't be tolerated and I'm a bit worried.

Midnight Sundance

Advice please wrote: »

I share a house with a friend. We're two very different people and have been getting on each other's nerves more as time goes on. He does soft drugs and has sometimes done them with his friends in the house. A while back he moved onto ecstasy. He did it outside the house but kept it in the house. I wasn't really comfortable with this, but I only found out after it was gone so I never said anything.

Recently he told me he wanted to have some friends over to do LSD. I said no and he said ok. Which is decent I guess, but I've no idea if he's planning on keeping this stuff in the house again.

I'm not sure how to approach this. I'm the type of person who's never touched drugs, heck I've never smoked a cigarette. I also have a tendency to overreact to things at times, but pretty much anyone I've talked to, including some very laid back people have felt this isn't a good situation. Some have suggested I move out, now. Is that too drastic? Or should i just ride out the remaining 6 months of the lease? I'm in a profession where any association with drugs wouldn't be tolerated and I'm a bit worried.

I'd get out to be honest. I know some people will say that is too drastic , but you have said your profession wouldn't put up with associating with drugs.
Is your career worth a months deposit? At worst a few months rent if you can't sub let the room?
Maybe explain to your friend your concerns first and see what they say. Just mention your career and how you'd still like to maintain a friendship but not at the cost of your career. I'm sure your friend would understand as long as you weren't being condescending towards their choice to use drugs .
Best of luck with whatever you do!!

ABajaninCork

Advice please wrote: »

I also have a tendency to overreact to things at times, but pretty much anyone I've talked to, including some very laid back people have felt this isn't a good situation. Some have suggested I move out, now. Is that too drastic? Or should i just ride out the remaining 6 months of the lease? I'm in a profession where any association with drugs wouldn't be tolerated and I'm a bit worried.

If that's the case, then you're probably right to be worried. What happens if the Gards decide to bust the place for drugs and you're still there? Not a good look for your job for sure.

I'd look to move out. Try to find someone to take over the remaining lease. If the landlord asks why, then tell him.

I'd also have a chat with the rude, inconsiderate pig of a housemate. Tell him if he wants to do drugs, that's his business. But don't bring them into the house and tell him to tell his mates to go elsewhere if they want to do them

There's also the small question of the deposit. LL may want to deduct for cleaning and/or replacement of the carpets and soft furnishings. The smell of wacky baccy is difficult to remove. I'd tell the housemate that too. That might concentrate his mind!

Eric Cartman

If he keeps them in his room , then even if the gards showed up youd be fine. They also generally only care about people selling drugs, not a small time user like im sure your mate is. The one thing id say is atleast hes open about it , a lot of people live in houseshares with people using drugs and selling drugs withouth them knowing.

The only point where id draw the line is having people over to do LSD , wouldnt want that in my house I have to say.

Rosy Posy

I think you need to be very careful to make your boundaries clear from the outset. It was good that you told him you were uncomfortable with people doing lsd in your home and that he respected that. I would be less concerned about legal/employment considerations, which are unlikely to implicate you personally, than I would be concerned by having your house turn into a session gaf where you can't sit on your couch or make a cup of tea without falling over the prone body of one of your housemates over-refreshed new best friends.

I have lived in houses where the occupants had radically different ideas of how to have a good time and imho it rarely works out. Not to say that with some mutual respect and a few firm ground rules its not possible.

2rkehij30qtza5

I lived with girls before in a very similar situation to you. They were into drugs..I was not. In the end I moved out. Still maintain an ok level of friendship with them but what they are into is just not my thing.

Stavro Mueller

Eric Cartman wrote: »

If he keeps them in his room , then even if the gards showed up youd be fine. They also generally only care about people selling drugs, not a small time user like im sure your mate is. The one thing id say is atleast hes open about it , a lot of people live in houseshares with people using drugs and selling drugs withouth them knowing.

The only point where id draw the line is having people over to do LSD , wouldnt want that in my house I have to say.

That's assuming the housemate is only using, not dealing. As time's going on, he has moved from soft drugs on to ecstasy and LSD. That's an escalating drugs habit and if circumstances change, he could end up dealing too. Nobody knows. And if the guards did have reason to call to the house, they're not going to believe that it's just 'im upstairs that's the druggie.

In your shoes, I'd be looking around for somewhere else to live. Especially if you say that it affects your profession. Mud can stick.

beaner88

cymbaline wrote: »

That's assuming the housemate is only using, not dealing. As time's going on, he has moved from soft drugs on to ecstasy and LSD. That's an escalating drugs habit and if circumstances change, he could end up dealing too. Nobody knows. And if the guards did have reason to call to the house, they're not going to believe that it's just 'im upstairs that's the druggie.

In your shoes, I'd be looking around for somewhere else to live. Especially if you say that it affects your profession. Mud can stick.

Lol, he's only weeks away from selling his body on the streets for crack.
If you're not into it then move in with someone more like you. Or you could take acid with them and have a laugh.

dearg lady

OP, you sound like a reasonable person, as does your housemate. I would say have a chat with him, say it makes you uncomfortable, and see if you can reach a compromise. If a compromise can't be reached, and you still feel uncomfortable, then consider moving out.
Honestly, some of the scaremongering nonsense that gets trotted out on these threads..

Toast4532

Personally I would move you, inform the landlord about the house mate's actions and report all illegal activity to the Guards.

I have zero tolerance for drugs and drug users/dealers.

Luca Brasi

Eric Cartman wrote: »

If he keeps them in his room , then even if the gards showed up youd be fine. They also generally only care about people selling drugs, not a small time user like im sure your mate is. The one thing id say is atleast hes open about it , a lot of people live in houseshares with people using drugs and selling drugs withouth them knowing.

The only point where id draw the line is having people over to do LSD , wouldnt want that in my house I have to say.

That is terrible advice to give to anyone. You are asking this poster to trust a drug user to keep his drugs in his own personal space.
Drug users only care about themselves and so will minimise their own risk of detection by secreting the drugs in a shared area. If the place is searched anyone with access to this area will be lifted. Even if cleared subsequently they will be on record as having been arrested. Its likely the case would go to court with the costs and publicity that goes with it.
As for the Gardai wanting to catch the dealers that may be the case for the Drug Squad but any young Garda will want to be getting arrests to further their career.
My advice would be to contact the landlord and explain why you are leaving, As long as you remain in that environment you are putting yourself at risk of arrest.
What happens if some visitor overdoses or dies due to bad merchandise? You have admitted that byou are aware of drug taking and have done nothing about it. There could be a manslaughter charge against you. Ans this is not scaremongering. Just think of the Katy French case

stmol32

It sounds like maybe it's time to consider moving out.

beaner88

Gardai don't give a crap about people using drugs in their private homes. Read any of the AMA from law enforcement persons on Reddit.

bakergirl91

Personally OP I would get out of there. Sometimes when people say 'yeah that's grand I won't' that could be code for ' I won't do it when your around in the house'.Thread carefully if you stay. However my advice is to move out, you seem like a sensible person who can't afford those type of possible complications in your life! Best if luck!

Luca Brasi

beaner88 wrote: »

Gardai don't give a crap about people using drugs in their private homes. Read any of the AMA from law enforcement persons on Reddit.

They do when a stiff turns up on the carpet or an inquisitive landlord has a word with the local police saying he thinks there is drug dealing going on in his flats.

beaner88

Luca Brasi wrote: »

They do when a stiff turns up on the carpet or an inquisitive landlord has a word with the local police saying he thinks there is drug dealing going on in his flats.

They'd have to have good reason to believe this intel, organise surveillance. Obtain a warrant, get a load of manpower together for an arrest. Living in the same house as some drugs with other persons is not evidence that would ever sustain a prosecution.

Eric Cartman

Luca Brasi wrote: »

That is terrible advice to give to anyone. You are asking this poster to trust a drug user to keep his drugs in his own personal space.
Drug users only care about themselves and so will minimise their own risk of detection by secreting the drugs in a shared area. If the place is searched anyone with access to this area will be lifted. Even if cleared subsequently they will be on record as having been arrested. Its likely the case would go to court with the costs and publicity that goes with it.
As for the Gardai wanting to catch the dealers that may be the case for the Drug Squad but any young Garda will want to be getting arrests to further their career.
My advice would be to contact the landlord and explain why you are leaving, As long as you remain in that environment you are putting yourself at risk of arrest.
What happens if some visitor overdoses or dies due to bad merchandise? You have admitted that byou are aware of drug taking and have done nothing about it. There could be a manslaughter charge against you. Ans this is not scaremongering. Just think of the Katy French case

Luca Brasi wrote: »

They do when a stiff turns up on the carpet or an inquisitive landlord has a word with the local police saying he thinks there is drug dealing going on in his flats.

As I have said , this is why I would have a problem with people taking LSD etc in the house.

If you are living in a house with somebody storing their own recreational supply of whatever in the house (like the OP said , hes keeping his e there but takes it outside the house) then Id say leave it, the OP has a 0% chance of this affecting his career, and it wont end up with dead people on carpets etc...

the problem only arises when either his housemate starts dealing (which I dont believe has happened , as the housemate has been fairly honest with the OP ) or when people start coming to the OP's house to use drugs (which the OP rightly told the housemate no to , and this wish was respected) .

Ive lived in many houses where drugs were being used, sold, consumed, stored and even houses where there were no drugs yet the neighbours thought there were and reported it to gardai on many occasions.

I can tell you first hand that one housemate keeping a personal supply to be used off the premesis will under no circumstances affect the OP's future career prospects and will not have him arrested.

The housemate has been honest about what he does, asked permission of the OP and your line "drug users only care about themselves" is a bit pathetic, the housemate isnt a junkie hooked on heroin or anything. I would say OP, discuss it with your housemate before involving the landlord and lay out some ground rules,

tell your housemate that he's not to sell drugs, invite people over to do drugs in the house, and only keeping a personal supply in his room only . If your housemate sticks to that then you will not be arrested, there will be no gards, there will be no implications for you , no dead people in the living room, and the only one who will be in any trouble if it all hits the fan will be your housemate.

P_1

Hi OP

If you get on well with the flatmate then sitting down with him and explaining your concerns (especially about your career) about the drugs and establishing clear boundaries may well be the way to go.

I'd suggest establishing that
1- any drug use in the flat is a dealbreaker for you. If it happens again you're gone.
2- if he insists on keeping them in the flat (which he'd pretty much have to do) then the only place they're to be kept is in his room. Again if you find any outside his room you're gone.

If you get on well with each other there's no reason why this should spoil your friendship

Luca Brasi

"I can tell you first hand that one housemate keeping a personal supply to be used off the premesis will under no circumstances affect the OP's future career prospects and will not have him arrested"



Are you in the real world?
If the Gardai raid a house and find drugs everyone will be lifted unless someone comes out immediately and takes full responsibility i.e put themselves at risk of prosecution. Can you rely on your friend to do this ? You will quickly find out what type of friend he is As regards affecting future career prospects if you are an employer and you hear through office gossip that an employee was arrested for or asssociating with drug users would you honestly consider him suitable for promotion or giving more responsibility. Drug users purchase from criminals. If the criminals hear that the drug users flatmate is working in a bank they could line him up for a tiger kidnapping etc. The posters who think that this is just a harmless situation are not in touch with what happens when people are arrested for drug possession .

CaraMay

Op aside from the legal issues with regard drugs on the premises, do you really want to live with someone who is walking round your home off his head on LSD?

He may be ok now but his problem is escalating so the next steps are stealing, more reliance on the drugs etc and this is when things start to get heavy as he has to fund his problem.

I would not feel safe in an environment where someone is in my personal space and off their brain on that stuff. Personal safety first!!

loloray

Luca Brasi wrote: »

Are you i the real world?
If the Gardai raid a house and find drugs everyone will be lifted unless someone comes out immediately and takes full responsibility i.e put themselves at risk of prosecution.

OP - this is scaremongering. The gardai are not idiots who go round 'lifting' innocent people. I have heard of many raids and never heard of someone innocent being 'lifted' by the gardai. They don't go round raiding random houses, they act on intelligence, and need to have a valid reason (i.e. have a particular named suspect) to obtain a warrant.

Luca Brasi wrote: »

As regards affecting future career prospects if you are an employer and you hear through office gossip that an employee was arrested for or asssociating with drug users would you honestly consider him suitable for promotion or giving more responsibility.

OP, lots of people hang round with, are associated with, are friends with, live with, or are related to drug users. It is ridiculous to suggest you would not get a deserved promotion based on one of your acquaintances. Hell, if we were all judged on the 'worst person' we know, very few people would ever have jobs.

Luca Brasi wrote: »

Drug users purchase from criminals. If the criminals hear that the drug users flatmate is working in a bank they could line him up for a tiger kidnapping etc. The posters who think that this is just a harmless situation are not in touch with what happens when people are arrested for drug possession .

This is a very unfair and also ridiculous to suggest that a victim is more likely to be targetted if they are a recreational drug user. The victims are selected on their position within the bank.
OP, you have said you guys are getting more and more on each other's nerves. The fact that you are posting on this forum for advise implies you are really uncomfortable about your home-life. This is no way to live. Your home should be your haven. I think you need to move, but stay level headed about it . . . You are not moving because you are running from the fuzz or avoiding tiger kidnappings.

Fysh

OP, I've been in your shoes twice before, and my advice is to move out before it gets worse. I was living with some friends who enjoyed the occasional smoke, which progressed to smoking every night, which progressed to friends-of-friends calling round for a smoke, which progressed to the rest of them taking ecstasy, which progressed to a known dealer hanging around the house, at which point I moved out. (Unfortunately I moved out in a rush, took the first place I could find, and ended up moving in with what turned out to be a couple of regular cocaine users - cue the same cycle and moving again within 6 months).

It sounds like your flatmate has a growing interest in drugs, which is going to cause more problems than have cropped up thus far. If your flatmate is asking about having people over to do LSD, there's a good chance his friends will view your place as a place where they are safely welcome to use drugs. Trusting him is one thing - do you trust all of his friends not to be dealing in your flat when they call over? Do you trust them not to end up implicating you if they get arrested for drug-related offences? What happens if your flatmate or one of his friends has a bad reaction to one of the substances he's taken and needs medical attention, or gets into a violent frenzy? (Not very likely, perhaps, but i've had to deal with both scenarios and neither is an experience I would want to repeat).

Whatever people may be saying about the probability of getting arrested because of your flatmate's habits (andthose of his friends), my personal experience of living in similar circumstances was that i'm much happier without the stress and worry of it. It's not like you're gaining anything by living with this particular flatmate and his habits, is it?

Do yourself a favour and move out. No need to let it be an acrimonious split, just say you're looking to live with someone who has a similar lifestyle to your own.

Defiler Of The Coffin

Luca Brasi wrote: »

Are you in the real world?
If the Gardai raid a house and find drugs everyone will be lifted unless someone comes out immediately and takes full responsibility i.e put themselves at risk of prosecution. Can you rely on your friend to do this ? You will quickly find out what type of friend he is As regards affecting future career prospects if you are an employer and you hear through office gossip that an employee was arrested for or asssociating with drug users would you honestly consider him suitable for promotion or giving more responsibility. Drug users purchase from criminals. If the criminals hear that the drug users flatmate is working in a bank they could line him up for a tiger kidnapping etc. The posters who think that this is just a harmless situation are not in touch with what happens when people are arrested for drug possession .

This is absolutely ridiculous. Scaremongering on this level is of no use to the OP. The OP is not responsible for the actions of others and any reasonable employer will know this. There is virtually zero chance of any legal repercussions for the OP.

I was in a situation in college where I lived with a housemate who done a lot of drugs, the most annoying things about it were the amount of loud parties he would throw and the insane ramblings he would come out with thanks to his brain being somewhat fried from years of substance abuse. Never though was I in any fear of being kidnapped or arrested though!

If the OP is uncomfortable in this situation then I would advise them to move out, your home is supposed to be your castle and if you don't feel truly safe then there are plenty of other houseshares out there where you will.

Henlars67

Some people on here are just being ridiculous. Talk about an over reaction.

The OP is right not to want people doing drugs in the house. I wouldn't like to be around people doing that but if the house mate is keeping a small amount of drugs for his own personal use in his own bedroom then there isn't even an issue here.

in that case OP should mind their own business

Luca Brasi

Henlars67 wrote: »

Some people on here are just being ridiculous. Talk about an over reaction.

The OP is right not to want people doing drugs in the house. I wouldn't like to be around people doing that but if the house mate is keeping a small amount of drugs for his own personal use in his own bedroom then there isn't even an issue here.

in that case OP should mind their own business

Of course you can rely on someone who is stupid enough to use drugs that they will keep them in a safe place and will only have enough for personal use, which incidentally is still in breach of the criminal law. But continue being naieve enough to think that there is no risk in this situation

Fysh

Luca Brasi wrote: »

Of course you can rely on someone who is stupid enough to use drugs that they will keep them in a safe place and will only have enough for personal use, which incidentally is still in breach of the criminal law. But continue being naieve enough to think that there is no risk in this situation

I don't think it's accurate or helpful to suggest that every single human being who's ever used a mind-altering substance is inherently intellectually deficient. I've known some people who can keep their substance usage perfectly under control, and others who were wildly out of control - this applies for both legal and illegal substances, and is more about self-control and self-awareness in the individual than anything else.

The OP's situation is dependent on several unknown variables: how dependable and reliable is his flatmate? How dependable and reliable are all of his friends who share similar interests? And how likely are they to come to the attention of the guards for non-drug-related reasons that might end up with the flatmate's drug stash/usage coming to light? Trusting one person is reasonable; implicitly trusting everyone they know is not.

As I've said above, having been in that situation myself before, my advice is to leave now - because while it might not get worse, moving elsewhere eliminates the stress of worrying about whether anything is going to happen, no matter how unlikely it might be.

GRMA

Move out and report them to the Gards.


Your housemate and his pals are utter scumbags - not necessarily for taking the drugs but for buying them off the scum who sell them, and murder, intimidate, threaten and just simply make ordinary peoples lives hell, especially in working class communities. Him and his buddies have a degree of responsibility for all that they do, its scum like them they get their money off, selfish pricks who dont care abut the wider societal impact of their actions - dead sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, friends. The pathetic "they should be legalized so its ok like, fight the power" sh!te doesnt sound at all convincing after you've seen someone close to you buried by the drug dealing gangsters the likes of your housemate and countless others fund.


OP, do you want to be associated with any of that? Go find some decent housemates

Big Bag of Chips

Can posters please remember to use replies to advise the OP. Getting into discussion or petty disputes with other posters on thread is off topic.

Every forum has it's own Charter. Anyone not familiar with the Personal Issues Charter should read it. Breaches of the Charter can result in bans from this forum.

Anymore off topic posting on this thread will result in warnings or infractions.

Thanks, all,
Big Bag of Chips.

kjl

I understand you are uncomfortable but I think if he keeps things outside the house then the impact on you is pretty minimal. People go through phases of taking drugs recreationally, it normally doesn't last more than a year.

He asked you about something, you refused and he listened. Maybe you could lay off calling the landlord and the cops on him as some other poster suggested.

Personally I know what you are going through, I don't drink and I have lived with people who would get very drunk in the house before heading out to some club then fall in the door later on in the evening. I wonder though if I had posted this story what kind of sympathy would I get.

My advice is get over it, it will never impact your job as long as you don't take anything.

castaway_lady

How is drugs use so ok with people? The mind boggles?

Move out. Do you really need the headache of not knowing how this is going to play out, be it legally or co-existing with someone not in their full senses.

If you have only 6months left on the lease then surely with this problem you'll be leaving anyway then. I'd go talk to the landlord, rescue your deposit, tell him if need be why you need out and if he get's awkward about the deposit or breaking the lease then mention the gardai.
Your professional reputation is not worth remotely chancing these days. And it's not being smallminded or taking things too seriously or being 'uncool' etc.

beaner88

castaway_lady wrote: »

How is drugs use so ok with people? The mind boggles?

Move out. Do you really need the headache of not knowing how this is going to play out, be it legally or co-existing with someone not in their full senses.

If you have only 6months left on the lease then surely with this problem you'll be leaving anyway then. I'd go talk to the landlord, rescue your deposit, tell him if need be why you need out and if he get's awkward about the deposit or breaking the lease then mention the gardai.
Your professional reputation is not worth remotely chancing these days. And it's not being smallminded or taking things too seriously or being 'uncool' etc.

Its really scary to think there are people like you are there as potential flatmates who wouldn't think twice about damaging somebodies life. I hope the OPs housemate sees this thread and recognises the situation so he can move somebody more appropriate in.

ABajaninCork

beaner88 wrote: »

Its really scary to think there are people like you are there as potential flatmates who wouldn't think twice about damaging somebodies life. I hope the OPs housemate sees this thread and recognises the situation so he can move somebody more appropriate in.

Which is more damaging? The OP's professional integrity or the flatmate possibly doing physical damage to himself if he has a bad trip or even losing his life if he takes a dodgy E? Do you remember Leah Betts??

What a stupid thing to post!!

ABajaninCork

I just thought of something else...

Is there something in the lease that prohibits illegal substances in the house? Not sure if it's standard here, but it certainly is in rental leases in the UK.

Defiler Of The Coffin

ABajaninCork wrote: »

Which is more damaging? The OP's professional integrity or the flatmate possibly doing physical damage to himself if he has a bad trip or even losing his life if he takes a dodgy E? Do you remember Leah Betts??

What a stupid thing to post!!

More scaremongering. The OP's professional integrity is in no way under threat here.

Far more people die from alcohol and tobacco related causes than will ever die from taking ecstasy. But of course alcohol and tobacco don't have the same stigma attached. Too much hypocrisy in this thread.

If the OP wants to move then they should but it should be for the right reasons, not because they are frightened into doing so.

ABajaninCork

Defiler Of The Coffin wrote: »

More scaremongering.

No. I simply gave my opinion as I saw it

Defiler Of The Coffin wrote: »

The OP's professional integrity is in no way under threat here.

But why should the OP put up with a situation they clearly find uncomfortable. And sorry, I think you're wrong. According to the OP...

Advice please wrote: »

I'm in a profession where any association with drugs wouldn't be tolerated and I'm a bit worried.

Defiler Of The Coffin

ABajaninCork wrote: »

No. I simply gave my opinion as I saw it

Then why bring the death of Leah Betts into the discussion? It has no relevance to the thread. The OP isn't worried about the (virtually non-existent) risk to the housemate's life.

ABajaninCork wrote: »

But why should the OP put up with a situation they clearly find uncomfortable. And sorry, I think you're wrong. According to the OP...

The OP does not have to put up with this situation at all, they are free to move out and should do so if they are uncomfortable. As regards the career, IMO living with a housemate who does drugs is a very tenuous link at best and I cannot see how any reasonable employer would use it as a stick to beat the OP. The OP is not responsible for the actions of others. End of.

ABajaninCork

I gave advice as I saw it. You are not. You're trying to argue with me which is counterproductive.

Defiler Of The Coffin

ABajaninCork wrote: »

I gave advice as I saw it. You are not. You're trying to argue with me which is counterproductive.

Fair enough. No use arguing, the OP will make up their own mind.

Ickle Magoo

Ok - three pages of advice here.

As the OP hasn't returned to the thread and posters are ignoring the previous warning to keep things on-topic rather than petty bickering, I'm going to lock the thread.