How much maintenance should i pay

LegacyUser

Hey Guys,

Need some advice, me and my other half have split up,we have a new born child and im wondering how much maintanience i should play?

We were not married,no mortgage and she still receives her full pay while on maternatiy leave.

I was hearing in the region of 65 to 75 euro a week, is this enough to support my baby?

Any advice appreciated

jimmycrackcorm

Why don't you work out the costs with her and agree a sensible figure. The amount you suggest seems to be a lot plus you should not be 100% responsible for all costs. Don't forget that there will be a variation in what's needed over time such as Christmas and perhaps putting something aside for future education long term.

John Mason

work out much the baby costs for a week and divide by 2.

mr_edge_to_you

You're way off the mark there. Very briefly:
Up to €600 a month or child care.
€35 a month for nappies.
€48 a month for formula.

That's €175 a week for starters.

That's before you buy clothes, increased electricity bills with your washing machine and dryer going non stop. Became a dad for the first time this year and every month there's something new we have to get. New vests, new bibs, bottle teats etc.

Chat to your ex and see what she wants, what she needs and see what you can afford.

King of Kings

60-70 a week is the norm - plus you'll probably be hit with 50% of the childcare costs (if they arise).
However keep the maintenance separate from the childcare.
for example agree to pay X amount plus 50% of childcare - so over time as childcare decrease you will not be paying for it by default.

Assuming you will take the child some portion of the week you will have additional costs in looking after the child so don't go handing over every penny you have,

Remember you ex gets the children allowance and you both can claim single parent tax credit too.


70e * 4 = 280 + 130 (social) = 410 and then he income assuming she equally provides a similair 280 then that's 690 on the child which is more than adequate.
Not to mention the extra bump in take home pay with the tax credit you both are entitled too.

If she feel she needs more for once off items - then pay her 50% of those bills but don't add it to maintenance or you be paying for baby sterilsers and bottles when the child has long out grown the need for them

The_Conductor

If the mother intends returning to work when her maternity leave finishes- the big cost could very well be childcare. Typically (depending on what part of the country you're in) this could be 1000-1200 a month for an under 1 year old, and 800-1000 a month for a 1-5 year old. After school care from age 5 onwards could well be 400-500 a month. This is ontop of clothes, food, utility bills, excursions, family occasions such as birthdays etc etc etc. Also remember that legally you are responsible for residential costs of your child (not the mother) while they are a minor or in fulltime education.

The figure you're quoting is a drop in the ocean when you sit down and look at the bigger picture.

We have a parenting forum here on boards- which might be a good port of call for trying to figure the costs associated with children. 65-75 Euro a week is a joke- its not even a drop in the ocean towards the costs of bringing up a child- multiply this by 3 or 4 and you're probably in the right ballpark.

Ontop of all of this is the matter of affordability. Regardless of what a reasonable maintenance level might be- the fact that you're living in separate accommodation etc- means you have to have a minimum amount left over to pay your own rent and live.

LegacyUser

smccarrick wrote: »

If the mother intends returning to work when her maternity leave finishes- the big cost could very well be childcare. Typically (depending on what part of the country you're in) this could be 1000-1200 a month for an under 1 year old, and 800-1000 a month for a 1-5 year old. After school care from age 5 onwards could well be 400-500 a month. This is ontop of clothes, food, utility bills, excursions, family occasions such as birthdays etc etc etc. Also remember that legally you are responsible for residential costs of your child (not the mother) while they are a minor or in fulltime education.

The figure you're quoting is a drop in the ocean when you sit down and look at the bigger picture.

We have a parenting forum here on boards- which might be a good port of call for trying to figure the costs associated with children. 65-75 Euro a week is a joke- its not even a drop in the ocean towards the costs of bringing up a child- multiply this by 3 or 4 and you're probably in the right ballpark.

Ontop of all of this is the matter of affordability. Regardless of what a reasonable maintenance level might be- the fact that you're living in separate accommodation etc- means you have to have a minimum amount left over to pay your own rent and live.

Hey OP here

75 * 4 a week means ill be paying more than I make in a month,i wouldn't be able to survive,that cant be correct

I understand paying for half my babys rent but my baby isnt in child care and the mother is still receiving full lay from work and will go back part time im assuming

But I was told roughly 60-75 a week which I coukd offor maybe even a 100

LegacyUser

King of Kings wrote: »

60-70 a week is the norm - plus you'll probably be hit with 50% of the childcare costs (if they arise).
However keep the maintenance separate from the childcare.
for example agree to pay X amount plus 50% of childcare - so over time as childcare decrease you will not be paying for it by default.

Assuming you will take the child some portion of the week you will have additional costs in looking after the child so don't go handing over every penny you have,

Remember you ex gets the children allowance and you both can claim single parent tax credit too.


70e * 4 = 280 + 130 (social) = 410 and then he income assuming she equally provides a similair 280 then that's 690 on the child which is more than adequate.
Not to mention the extra bump in take home pay with the tax credit you both are entitled too.

If she feel she needs more for once off items - then pay her 50% of those bills but don't add it to maintenance or you be paying for baby sterilsers and bottles when the child has long out grown the need for them

Hey thanks for this

Mr. Incognito

The max court award for maintainance is 150 a week or 600 a month,

I think it depends on circumstances, usual is about 75-80 a week.

Also, apply for guardianship asap

The_Conductor

anyhelpappreciated wrote: »

Hey OP here

75 * 4 a week means ill be paying more than I make in a month,i wouldn't be able to survive,that cant be correct

I understand paying for half my babys rent but my baby isnt in child care and the mother is still receiving full lay from work and will go back part time im assuming

But I was told roughly 60-75 a week which I coukd offor maybe even a 100

You can't assume that the mother will only work part-time when her maternity leave finishes, and maintenance is irrespective of the fact that she is currently on full pay. I hear what you're saying about 60-75 being what you can afford- however the point I was making is simply that this is only a token gesture towards the costs associated with bringing up a child, it is not a meaningful contribution.

Childcare may not be factor, right here, right now- however once the mother's maternity leave is used up- it could very well be the single biggest cost associated with the day-to-day cost associated with bringing up a child. I have a 1 year old and a 2 year old- my creche bill was roughly my net take home pay last year- I work to pay the creche, my wife pays the mortgage- thats just the way it is for a lot of families.

60-75 Euro- is a token gesture towards maintenance, having children is an expensive business!

CaraMay

She probably can't afford to go back part time if you can only pay the amounts you quoted. If you are not working, can you mind the baby?

Ann84

If you mind your child 50% of the time, you wont have to pay maintenance!!! My ex and I share custody and guardianship of our daughter and do week on/ week off. We put €60 of child benefit in a savings account for books/uniform and split the rest. Other than that, we split Christmas but do separate birthday presents as with everything else. Couldnt be simpler, no rowing over money and we both have very healthy relationships with our child! Forget maintenance, share parent!

Stheno

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

The max court award for maintainance is 150 a week or 600 a month,

That's in the district court, it can increase if you go to higher courts.

Op work it out with your ex as much as you can. And apply for guardianship asap

Strawberry Fields

anyhelpappreciated wrote: »

Hey OP here

75 * 4 a week means ill be paying more than I make in a month,i wouldn't be able to survive,that cant be correct



But I was told roughly 60-75 a week which I coukd offor maybe even a 100

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

The max court award for maintainance is 150 a week or 600 a month,

I think it depends on circumstances, usual is about 75-80 a week.

Also, apply for guardianship asap

This, plus in court depends on your income. legal advice needed try local FLAC, you will not be expected to cripple yourself with more than you have.

Strawberry Fields

anyhelpappreciated wrote: »

Hey OP here

75 * 4 a week means ill be paying more than I make in a month,i wouldn't be able to survive,that cant be correct


But I was told roughly 60-75 a week which I coukd offor maybe even a 100

Also not trying to be critical but your maths is all over the shop above you can't afford 75 a week but can afford 100. FLAC local office dude.

chubchub

smccarrick wrote: »

You can't assume that the mother will only work part-time when her maternity leave finishes, and maintenance is irrespective of the fact that she is currently on full pay. I hear what you're saying about 60-75 being what you can afford- however the point I was making is simply that this is only a token gesture towards the costs associated with bringing up a child, it is not a meaningful contribution.

Childcare may not be factor, right here, right now- however once the mother's maternity leave is used up- it could very well be the single biggest cost associated with the day-to-day cost associated with bringing up a child. I have a 1 year old and a 2 year old- my creche bill was roughly my net take home pay last year- I work to pay the creche, my wife pays the mortgage- thats just the way it is for a lot of families.

60-75 Euro- is a token gesture towards maintenance, having children is an expensive business!

100% agree with this. You cannot make assumptions on mothera position and also on fact as far as you are concernes she is being fully paid so she should cover everything whilst you put in a token amount as said above.

Kids are so expensive, you should be paying at least everything u can afford and not what I think u can get away with. If medical emergencies, other stuff come up etc then go halfs.

How far do you think 60 aweek will go on extra grocercies, equipment, nappies, sterilizers, new clothes, car equipment for a baby if required, buggies, extra billa so on and so forth.

Sorry op but its a cop out to say mother is atill working and so will be ok cause it wouldnt go far on most peoples wages. Its not acceptable you think she ahould cover most on this basia becuase she will be if thats all your prroviding.

On flip side I know some people go crazy with best of everything and you shouldbt be expected to halves on everything like that, all reasonable expenses ahould be split two ways.

tbh

Strawberry Fields wrote: »

Also not trying to be critical but your maths is all over the shop above you can't afford 75 a week but can afford 100.

He said he couldn't afford 75*4 a week. He initially said 75, smccarrick said it'd be 4 times that.

tbh

chubchub wrote: »

How far do you think 60 aweek will go on extra grocercies, equipment, nappies, sterilizers, new clothes, car equipment for a baby if required, buggies, extra billa so on and so forth.

Sorry op but its a cop out to say mother is atill working and so will be ok cause it wouldnt go far on moat peoples wages.

Most of the stuff you've listed don't have to be bought every week. Nappies cost about 20 quid for a big box, formula is about 79c a carton, at five a day that's less than 35 a week. Having a child wasn't nearly as expensive as I thought.

Op IMO you should look at giving your ex 100 a week. If she matches that, that's 200 a week for the baby, you'll struggle to spend that on a weekly basis. You should also try to put 25-50 a week into a savings account for the buggies, car seats etc. Remember anything extra goes on your child which now gets priority over anything you need. When the child starts creche or whatever then yiu can reevaluate

chubchub

tbh wrote: »

Most of the stuff you've listed don't have to be bought every week. Nappies cost about 20 quid for a big box, formula is about 79c a carton, at five a day that's less than 35 a week. Having a child wasn't nearly as expensive as I thought.

Op IMO you should look at giving your ex 100 a week. If she matches that, that's 200 a week for the baby, you'll struggle to spend that on a weekly basis. You should also try to put 25-50 a week into a savings account for the buggies, car seats etc. Remember anything extra goes on your child which now gets priority over anything you need. When the child starts creche or whatever then yiu can reevaluate

Fair enough and I see your point when they qre that young but most parents I know are spending more than that at least from what im told. Also who is expected to provide all these one of costs initially. Sounds like the mother in which case initial inatallments op pays will only be paying back for ops half of baby equipment, then childcare if mother goes back to work which op is unsure of. Depending on part of country you are in you'll be doing well to get childcare for 800 a month plus of course any other weekly expenses again on top. Im sorry maybe some weeks 100 will be fine as you say but long term and especially if mother returns to work I dont agree it suffices as you have mebtioned and should be revaluated.

. Suppose its a matter of open disucssion between both parties to find out mothers plans and work feom there. You cant assume what anyone elae will do.

jaqian

Whatever you agree to pay make sure its into her bank account and not cash. This is to protect yourself just in case things go sour and says you never paid up. Have heard it happen to others. Sorry if someone else already posted this.

King of Kings

Ann84 wrote: »

If you mind your child 50% of the time, you wont have to pay maintenance!!! My ex and I share custody and guardianship of our daughter and do week on/ week off. We put €60 of child benefit in a savings account for books/uniform and split the rest. Other than that, we split Christmas but do separate birthday presents as with everything else. Couldnt be simpler, no rowing over money and we both have very healthy relationships with our child! Forget maintenance, share parent!

This is incorrect - I have my son 50% of the week and the court ordered that I pay maintenance.

CaraMay

King of Kings wrote: »

This is incorrect - I have my son 50% of the week and the court ordered that I pay maintenance.

That's so annoying and unfair. I don't know how that can be justified!

WaltKowalski

King of Kings wrote: »

Not to mention the extra bump in take home pay with the tax credit you both are entitled too.

So both parents raise a child and they're each entitled to a 'single' parents tax credit?
That's a joke.

The_Conductor

CaraMay wrote: »

That's so annoying and unfair. I don't know how that can be justified!

Its just the way men are treated by the courts in relation to children. Have a gander over at the mens forum- anamolies like this are rife- and happen all the time. Even some feminists such as Ivanna Backic have spoken out against it.

CaraMay

smccarrick wrote: »

Its just the way men are treated by the courts in relation to children. Have a gander over at the mens forum- anamolies like this are rife- and happen all the time. Even some feminists such as Ivanna Backic have spoken out against it.

Oh I know - my oh has kids from before and some people have no shame.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

My older daugter and I have just gone through the exercise of costing her little pet because her ex was becoming extremely resentful of paying some of the costs of the child they decided to have together before he decided to leave.

Just to be clear, they organised guardianship as soon as he decided to leave, and the money is put into a bank account in the child's name on a weekly basis by standing order.

Also, my daughter is an excellent mother so her child has a very good diet and has all of her needs met as well as many of her wants, is well dressed, and attends swimming and baby gym on a weekly basis.

My daughter works so social welfare is not an issue in this case. However, just to point out, the amount in addition to Child Benefit that Social Welfare contribute towards the cost of a child to a single parent is 29.95 pw.

My daughter owns her own house *well the building society does* so has a substantial mortgage. Her ex's argument was that he was supplementing her mortgage by paying 80 pw plus half the cost of childcare.

In reality, and trying to be totally fair, I added up all of the below mentioned items and others, comparing her costs now that her baby is 3 yrs old, to those before the baby was born, including electricity and heating oil (of which she used very little as she was rarely home before the child was born) and taking into account recent price increases in these, to ensure a fair assessment of what she would be using as a single person with no child today, it turns out that her little bundle costs her a minimum average of 279 pw plus childcare. That is a genuine assessment of everything from big ticket items such as beds & furniture, down to little things such as bath products, sudocreme and band-aids.

I'm not going to list everything individually as the spreadsheet ran to several pages, but here is a flavour of what was included.

Clothing & footwear
New shoes/boots/sandals every 3 months
Rapid growth means replacing everything from vests, to coats on 3 to 6 monthly basis - coats are particularly expensive
Food -Fresh, nutritious foods & formula cost a lot!
Equipment
Car seats, walkers, buggies, highchairs, bean bags, changing tables, various sleeping arrangements as apt which have included: moses basket, cot, toddler bed, big bed, all the bedding, laundering and care of all of these...
Bedding - for different size beds as above.. inc mattress replacement if necessary
Medical costs (these can cost up to 328 pm when child is very unwell - 2 x GP visits (100), 1 x prescription cost (133), 1 x hospital attendance(75) & over the counter meds inc. suppositories, neurofen etc.
Transport of child - daughter had moped before baby but due to rural location, needs safe, NCT'd, taxed, well maintained car
Wear and tear on appliances (eg: has had to replace washer and dryer recently)/house/car
Extra utility/services costs including heating & electricity
Toys, garden toys, treats, outings etc etc..

Another bone of contention would be that the daddy never bought separate equipment for his home for the child, so when taking the child to his for the day, equipment such as car seats, buggies, bedding, clothing (including wellies etc that then get 'forgotten' or left behind and need to be replaced) high chair etc.. all had to be transferred. I do think that as a dad, you could consider making a space and equipping it yourself, including the appropriate car seat etc. and that this would make life simpler all round.


It is awful when couples decide to split up but I do think some men get off very lightly. It is my daughter who has to be up all night when the child is ill, and then work the next day and have a healthy dinner on the table that night. To make sure that seasonally appropriate, correctly sized clothes and shoes are bought, washed and ironed, that the child is provided with a well balanced diet. That the child is provided with activities and exposed to cultural and educational experiences. Dad swoops in twice a week, taking the well dressed, clean & happy child with it's latest hair cut, and proceeds to McDonalds and the cinema, looking like a hero as mammy has to be the one enforcing broccoli consumption and ear cleaning.

Just something to bear in mind! I do hope you will be fair to your child's mother, it seems like you want to be. Your child is the one who will benefit if you are

Hope this helps and wish you the best of luck and years of happiness with your bundle.

Ickle Magoo

Folks,

This is an advice forum - please keep replies on topic and for/directed to the OP.

Be aware that off-topic and unhelpful posting can earn you a ban from this forum.

If you haven’t done so already, please take the time to read the [URL=" http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056181484"]forum rules[/URL] in the charter.

Many thanks.

As per site policy, if you have an issue with any moderator instruction or request please contact a relevant moderator via PM - DO NOT drag the thread further off-topic by responding on-thread

King of Kings

WaltKowalski wrote: »

So both parents raise a child and they're each entitled to a 'single' parents tax credit?
That's a joke.

Think about it the logic is reasonable - you both need to mind the child but the cost of some things is now doubled - 2 rents/mortgage , 2 esb/gas accounts etc... maybe an extra car etc...

Its more expensive overall for a separatated couple to raise a child that a couple still together.
remember you can't just go back bedsitting with the lads when you've a child staying a few nights a week. You need to rent a decent spot (as would an ex)
It's a few quid extra - it's not a promotion at work pay rise.

however you lose it once you cohabitate again (even though the new partner is not the parent of the child) which I think is unfair.

CaraMay wrote: »

That's so annoying and unfair. I don't know how that can be justified!

tell me about it.
Family court is changing but still loaded in the women's favour.

Ann84

King of Kings wrote: »

This is incorrect - I have my son 50% of the week and the court ordered that I pay maintenance.

Its not incorrect, it's the arrangement I have with my ex! We didnt go to court, we used mediators and I guess I didnt want anything from him that isn't fair!

King of Kings

Ann84 wrote: »

Its not incorrect, it's the arrangement I have with my ex! We didnt go to court, we used mediators and I guess I didnt want anything from him that isn't fair!

what you said was

If you mind your child 50% of the time, you wont have to pay maintenance!!!

I said that is incorrect which is it - my case prove that this is not the case.
You case proves that it may be the case which is different to what you stated.

However I applaud you decency and the world would be a nicier place if everybody was as fair.
I went to mediatation and possiblily the one thing we agreed upon that the mediator was a fool.