i reported child neglect and am in trouble now

LegacyUser

hi i will try and keep this short.
basically i reported a couple for child neglect. i didnt do this without thought. they are friends of mine so it was hard but i am absolutely certain that there was neglect going on. they were blaming someone else and this person was really upset so i straight away rang the parents and told them everything.
my problem is they are drunk now at this very minute and im afraid of my life they are going to call out to my home and cause trouble. ive told them i will talk to them no bother face to face tomorrow as im not ashamed of my actions. but they called out to the girl they were accusing last nite and scared her.
i have got the gaurds number from 11811 just there and have it ready. im really scared as i have 2 small children in the house, 1 is just a baby
i suppose i just need reassurance that i did the right thing and how do i deal with the situation should they come to my home. (my husband is out)
how do i even deal with the situation tomorrow. im torn as i know i did right by the kids but im after putting my safe family home at risk with all of this.

pastorbarrett

Given you say you had good reason to believe there is neglect being perpetrated, you absolutely took the right course of action in making a report. I've no doubt it was an agonizing decision to make in respect of making the report, but it was absolutely necessary. Everyone of us has a duty in this regard. You have acted in good faith, OP. Perhaps call the Guards to let them know your fears- hopefully someone will there be necessarily attentive to your circumstances. Be strong.

Esoteric_

If you feared for their child, you made the right decision, absolutely.

As to what you should do if they call over - lock the doors, lock the windows and keep that phone number handy. Do not answer the door to them, there is absolutely no sense in having a confrontation with drunk people while you're alone and your kids are in bed.

If they come over and refuse to leave and bang on the door or anything like that, call the police, they'll take it very seriously.

ABajaninCork

Absolutely, you did the right thing OP. MeridianGroup has it right. Be strong and don't back down now. By rights the call should be anonymous. Did you give permission for your name to be released??

If these people turn up to your house and you're scared to let them in, you have every right to call the Gards. Speak to them (if you want to) only when your husband is there. If he is, I'd lay money they won't try anything!

Well done for looking out for those kids. They're very lucky to have someone look out for them as you do.

mikemac1

ABajaninCork wrote: »

By rights the call should be anonymous. Did you give permission for your name to be released??

The gardaí or HSE didn't release the OP's name.
The OP did that herself

tony81

Op, you say you're their friend yet according to you they're neglecting their child, blaming some one else and you fear for your own and your family's safety.
Oh, and you told them you reported them.

Stop bringing this drama your way. Ditch them as friends and in future make reports anonymously.

looksee

they are friends of mine so it was hard but i am absolutely certain that there was neglect going on. they were blaming someone else and this person was really upset so i straight away rang the parents and told them everything.

OP is this a typo for Gardai?

Little Acorn

looksee wrote: »

they are friends of mine so it was hard but i am absolutely certain that there was neglect going on. they were blaming someone else and this person was really upset so i straight away rang the parents and told them everything.

OP is this a typo for Gardai?

I think the OP meant that they were blaming someone else for reporting them, (the girl whose house they went out to accusing), so the op didn't want that girl taking the blame so owned up and admitted that it was he/she(the op themself) who had reported and not the girl they were accusing. (which is why the op was afraid they were then going to call to his/her house)

It was brave of you to admit it was you op to save the other girl, and also very good of you to report it in the first place. I would definitely go to the guards and tell them of your fears. They will give them a warning if they threaten you, and be sure to keep that number handy beside you just in case of any trouble.

looksee

Oh thanks, I had completely misunderstood the thrust of the thread. I thought that the other person was being blamed for the neglect, not the reporting.

OP, do you really want to be friends with people who neglect their children? And who get dangerous when drunk?

Regardless of how the enquiry turns out the friendship is finished. You must inform the gardai of the threats so that if you have occasion to call them in an emergency they have a record of the problem.

Good luck, you have done all you can, all you can do now is get on with your life and hope that things work out.

Luca Brasi

If you have solid grounds for making such a serious allegation of course you were right.
However if you were jumping to conclusions based on hearsay etc you deserve what you get.

dellas1979

I dont think you can take any chances when it comes to the welfare of a child, so I dont understand the negativity from other posters for her reporting it.

There is no smoke without fire, and she is obviously worried about the child. Different if she had some grudge which unfortunately some people do use that motive to report these things.

The OP was right to do what she did, if she felt that the child was being neglected. Too often, people do nothing and ignore situations like this. Kudos to you lady.

And now there are consequences for acting so bravely. Any trouble out of them, you need to ring the guards.

mikemac1

dellas1979 wrote: »

There is no smoke without fire,

The other side of that phrase is mud sticks

Tread carefully OP
When you are asked to backup this report you should have already have a notebook with dates and times

dellas1979

Yes, but as far as she is concerned, something is genuniely wrong. We dont know what she has seen or witnessed. We have to take it that she has found genuine ground to make the report.

Isnt it better to get it checked out, for her genuine belief something is wrong, than thinking "mud sticks". Too many little voiceless kids out there are not being looked after, and we should, as fellow human beings, be looking out for them. She is doing it with best intention for the child.

God knows there are many victims of abuse or neglect out there, and Im sure most of them would have wanted an intervention.

pastorbarrett

Luca Brasi wrote: »

However if you were jumping to conclusions based on hearsay etc you deserve what you get.

This kind of input is absolutely pointless, and nothing to do with the problem at hand. We can only consider the OP's circumstances as she reports them-she says she is absolutely certain that there is neglect being perpetrated, and is seeking counsel regarding the circumstances following its report. Yes, she is questioning whether she was right to do so given her concern for her family's welfare etc, which is hardly unreasonable. Where any of us have reasonable cause to suspect abuse, neglect etc, we must inform the appropriate authorities. I refer you to Children's First if you wish to read further on the matter.

Big Bag of Chips

Ok everyone, it's obviously an emotive issue and one that everyone has an opinion on, but can we please keep replies aimed at offering advice to the OP.

This is a forum to ask for and offer advice on Personal Issues, there are many other forums here on boards.ie that you can go to for general discussion.

Thanks,
Big Bag of Chips.

a posse ad esse

You did the right thing OP. If you are really concerned for you and your family's safety I suggest you speak with the individual who you filed your complaint to. I am sure they had to deal with this a number of times with other people who filed. He/she may be able to refer you to someone at the Guards who deals with this. In the meantime if anyone of them threatens you via texts, voice mail, in conversation call the guards at once and document everything (time, place, witnesses etc.)

Does your husband know that you filed the complaint? He needs to know what is going on to as they may approach him as well.