Party advice

Stheno

Hey,

My OH always has his children for either Xmas or New Year, and we've always allowed them to have a party with their friends on a day of their choosing during the week they are with us.

We've a few ground rules:

1. No spirits
2. No smoking in the house.
3. No drugs
4. Anyone staying over, there is a nominated room for girls to sleep in and another for boys.

The children are 19 and 22 this year.

Traditionally we've spent a lot of money on party food, getting in beers/cider etc and put a fair bit of effort into it.

We've had a rule that the house has to be cleaned in advance, especially their bedrooms, and must be back to normal by 6pm the day after the party.

However, this year, whilst all of the above rules are in place, we are thinking of a new approach.

We want to spend less (as most people would understand) so I am thinking of doing a pile of jacket potatoes that people can chuck in the microwave and cover with either of a pot of spaghetti bolognese or chili, and we'll get a bit of party food from Iceland in. Booze wise, we will get enough booze for the two children but not any more.

Traditionally, the living room was where the ladies slept, I'd like that to be left in peace this year, as it's horrible coming down to a downstairs full of crashed out young adults, so the girls can sleep in the dining room and the boys in OHs son's room, which is fairly large.

Cleaning wise, I want the kitchen in particular and the back garden (OH works from home, and gives out every year about the dirt) cleared early in the day (about 3pm) so we at least feel like we can function rather than exist in a mess.

My question is, does this sound harsh? We've never had a problem, and the children always thank us, and Oh agrees 100% with me on this approach. Given their age I think it's only right that the children engage in a bit of responsibility but also acknowledge that myself and Oh have a right to expect to be able to get up the next day at whatever hour and be able to live "normally"?

THoughts? We're not too sure as we've been very indulgent and patient in the past. I must admit that this is the fourth year this has happened and every year, we've gotten stricter, the first year, it was a week before the house looked normal as we refused to do it!

areyawell

Not trying to sound harsh but leave plenty of johnny's around.

Baybay

The people concerned aren't exactly children anymore & should expect rules or costs associated with any venue.

mlumley

We just had a party for my daughtrs 18th. Got lots of food from iceland, Daughters boyfriend got the booz, I cooked the food when they came then went into the front room, left them to it. Set ground rules for your child, and tell them, break it at your peril.

My daughter went out with her friends at 12.

How you are going to cope having them stay in your house, I dont know. Except, some one is going to have to sit on the stairs to make sure no shinnanigans.

You will be held responsible if out happens, so be carefull.

Good luck, but if my daughter hand her friends are anything to go by, your worrying needless. Teenagers Can be responcible.

myparenting101

yes that is right that children can hold some responsibilities.

pwurple

I think that sounds reasonable enough, especially as it is in its fourth year. Does the party get bigger every time, or is it roughly the same group of friends?

We used to do something similar when we were younger... and I've been to some house parties in my time. The only time I saw a problem was where the friends started inviting friends of their own, and suddenly the hosts didn't know some of the people there. But if they know everyone there it should be fine.

I wouldn't think of jacket potatoes as party food though, you need cutlery and plates for those. More things to clean. Maybe slices of baguette toasted instead of the spuds... Like bruschetta?

Lola92

I think the revised groundrules are very reasonable. I don't see why the friends bringing their own beer or separate sleeping areas should be an issue really, as long as everyone is aware in advance! Regarding food dunnes and aldi are both doing very reasonable party platters which I imagine would be ideal, just pop them in the oven.

Stheno

Thanks everyone