theunknown

LegacyUser

I have a great opportunity to move to another country with my son. But I am frustrated at not being able to bring myself to make it official, to decide, to go, to book and just get on with it. Dragging it on with months.

I see so many opportunities in this other country but a part of that could be a case of the grass is always greener. Whereas here at home I am struggling financially and my life is a bit stale. If I was to stay, I can't see a lot changing. My son is at an adaptable age, however should it not work out I don't want to drag him out of school in years to come, besides he may not want to move again. I guess I've a fear of leaving my comfort zone, family, friends etc and making a mistake, and being homesick. Uprooting isn't easy with a child. Son's mother lives in other country, where he was born that. We left for genuine reasons that I'd rather not go into.

I always admire people living away from home in another country who are content.

Any advice/comments welcome.

keithclancy

whichroadtotake wrote: »

I always admire people living away from home in another country who are content.

Any advice/comments welcome.

The secret to being content living in a country that is not your birth country if that you eventually end up saying this:

Its nice to visit Ireland and see the relatives but it's great to get back home.

Rather than:

Its nice to go home and see the relatives but its great to get back to X Country.

Basically you just do all the things you did at home in the country you move to, stay away from expat groups and irish pubs, learn the language and get involved with local groups/your neighbours.

Lived here in NL for 5 years now and couldn't imagine moving back to Ireland, maybe one day but it would be a bit of a culture shock I think

a posse ad esse

Our family moved to Canada over 6 months ago. We came so I can do research at one of the universities and pursue a graduate degree. At the beginning we thought that this would be a temporary and we would go back once I finished.

We settled in easily and our children love it here so much. My husband and have decided to make this temporary move permanent.

I agree wholeheartedly with the previous poster about staying away from expat groups and pubs. In order to integrate properly you need to surround yourself with locals and determine if the place you have moved to is right for you. Our concern was more for our children because we had to enroll them into a French school. Our children adjusted very well so far. Three months ago they could not string a sentence in French now they can speak it with ease and made new friends Canadian and other foreign nationals.

Being a single parent can pose some challenges however this should not stop you. I don't know what country you plan on moving to. I think the best place to meet people that are in the same situation as you are through language courses. My husband and I met and made some very good friends whilst studying French over the summer. You will end up meeting others like you adjusting to a new place and some will have young children like you.

LegacyUser

Thank you for your comments.

I would have thought to help with home sickness it's good to hang with the Irish expats? Why is that not a good idea?

I'm not referring to the back packers that are there for a year or two but more the settled Irish in their new adopted home, who are living there with a few years and intending to stay long term.

a posse ad esse

whichroadtotake wrote: »

Thank you for your comments.

I would have thought to help with home sickness it's good to hang with the Irish expats? Why is that not a good idea?

I'm not referring to the back packers that are there for a year or two but more the settled Irish in their new adopted home, who are living there with a few years and intending to stay long term.

I speak as someone who has lived abroad a few times and from my experiences I have found that by not looking for ex-pats made me integrate more to the culture of the new country. I have met immigrants in Ireland of other nationalities as well as Irish who live abroad make the mistake of sticking with "their own." They put themselves in a situation where they have smaller and fewer social AND professional networks which makes it harder to integrate properly, accept their new surroundings and perhaps make it more difficult to obtain work thus becoming homesick and depressed. It is not that we are purposely avoiding Irish people it is that we are not out there looking for them.