Really, really enjoy female company

LegacyUser

This may seem like an obscure issue, but its one I've been thinking about and would appreciate if anyone could shed any light on.

I am a 2nd year college student, and recently made a good few female friends and for some reason I feel more comfortable hanging out with them than some of the guys. I'm not gay or anything, I have only ever had sexual feelings for women, but I've only ever had one brief relationship with a girl I was just set up with and neither of us were that interested.

I don't know what it is, and I don't know what I can do. I would like them to know I'd enjoy hanging out with them outside of college and getting to know them better. I have one female friend who invited me to a party at her house and her 19th, both of which were mainly her closest friends. I'm not 100% sure if the other girls I've felt comfortable with would be the type who would invite me to things, but then again I have nothing to base that on, still they are becoming friendlier with the girl who brought me to her two parties so I might get lucky.

Thanks to all who are interested in discussing this with me.

looksee

I'm not totally sure what we are discussing? I gather you are a guy in your late teens and you are concerned (are you concerned?) that you prefer female company to male. Is that right?

I don't see there is any problem with you being friendly with girls, don't make any sort of decision that you are not going to have guys as friends, just take life as it comes and enjoy friendship where you find it.

You don't really sound too worried about it, or is there something else that you are asking?

Big Bag of Chips

Enjoy being friends with girls without the pressure of wanting to have a girlfriend. Girls like guys that are easy going.

Relax, be yourself and don't get too hung up on who invites you where/when/why.

If you want them to know you'd like to hang out with them outside of college, the best way to do it is ask them to do something outside of college! Arrange to all go out/meet up one of the student nights.

I don't really understand what you are asking, or if/why this is a personal issue for you, if you like being friends with them... then be friends with them, and do things that friends do... Hang out!

LegacyUser

Thanks Looksee and Big Bag of Chips.

Suppose I should clarify.

I am 21, part of the reason I've been preferring female company lately is because I only ever had one brief relationship, the lads I hang out with have had a few. I have nothing against them at all, it just feels daunting sometimes that I'm the one with the least experience with women (and by a long shot), so I don't have that when I'm with females. I'll still hang out with the lads, but just not any more than half of my week at college.

I'd agree the real issue here is I am really unsure how to go about having my female friends know I enjoy spending much of my time with them. Its only the girl who invited me to her two parties that lives really close to me I've socialized with her quite a bit in and out of college, the other girls I've recently become friends with and want to do more with, live a bit further out, so that would cause problems for the student nights out, but we all get the same public transport.

I don't know how to ask, I've just never had enough experience with girls to know, I'm very quiet but I do get along with them when we're on a similar topic of conversation.

BlueValkyrie

You're in the process of making new friends, and that's a great thing. It sounds like because you're unused to having female friends, you're seeing a minefield of not wanting to seem too eager etc - maybe in case they get the wrong idea about your intentions? You want them to invite you along to more parties, events etc...

Why don't you invite them along to something - even the cinema, a gig or something? Particularly if the ladies in question are friends, and you ask them as a group, so that it's clearly not a 'date' just something that you think you would all enjoy. And feel free to include mutual male friends/acquaintances as well. Chat about movies/a cafe you've heard about/any random thing - if they seem interested in your interests, suggest a time to go there and check it out. You clearly get along, and are well on the way to becoming friends anyway, so it's not much of a leap to meeting outside of college.

I'm female, and probaby 80% of my close friends are male, and are people I know from college (which is a while ago now )

As I see it, there is no 'issue' here - you're getting to know new people, and have the usual insecurities and concerns that brings. That they are female is just something that is making you a little more wary of scaring them off. I don't mean to belittle your concerns - everyone gets a bit paranoid about new people, and if they are of the opposite sex, this can easily be magnified, even if their gender is not why you want to spend more time with them.

trio

You just say "Are YE heading out on Friday? I fancy a pint"

The secret is saying YE. Nobody ever got the wrong impression from a guy who wants all the others tagging along.

Most girls really enjoy having male buddies to counterbalance all the first year girl "WOOOOOO!!!". I mean, you have to remember that most of them will have gone to mixed schools, and will be accustomed to having guy friends.