Not being able to go home for Christmas...

Chessala

Heya,

I think this is more a rant than anything else and I apologize for it.

This will be the 2nd year I won't be able to go home for Christmas because of things just going wrong in my life. Each year I planned to visit them in Germany, book my flights and something just keeps me from going.

Last year it was health reasons and this year because my car broke down shortly after I left home to go to Dublin airport last night. I spent hours with the AA to get it fixed (no bus was leaving for me to reach the airport in time and I have no money to reschedule the flight).

It's really tough on me as after the debacle last year I was really looking forward to going. I tried the whole night to arrange an alternative without success, I wouldn't have a way to get off my house anyway as the car stil needs to be fixed.

Now when I called my mom to tell her the bad news I was screamed at and accused of lying and not wanting to be with them. It hurt an awful lot, even though I know she said it only because she is disappointed. I just don't know a way how to still get there as all flights are way past my budget.

I had to spent Christmas on my own last year because of all this, at least this year I'll have my OH with me. My parents and OH don't get along too good because especially my mom clings a lot and thinks I want to abandon her. Now the reason she thinks I'm lying is because she thinks I want to spent Christmas with OH instead of them.

I never lied to my parents before, which is why I don't really understand the accusations. The year has been really bad financially and with not being able to go, I'm not even sure how to get past the next days.

I want to at least make up with my family and be with them a bit on skype on Christmas but like this I'm afraid they don't want me to call and if I call I'll get more accusations. But if I don't call I'll be told even more that I don't want to be with them....arg!

I really don't know how to calm down the situation...grateful for any ideas....

looksee

Your mum will have to get over herself. Get yourself sorted for a nice Christmas with the OH - what was/is he going to do while you were away? Skype them on Christmas day and if your mum still wants to do the hurt and aggravated stuff, talk to the others. Ask them to put you on speaker so you can talk to everyone at once.

I understand exactly what you are saying, people do hold you responsible for things outside your control, but you just have to cheerfully carry on and don't act/feel guilty for things you can't do anything about.

Lorna123

Talk to your family on Christmas Day, then you could write your mother a letter explaining your circumstances and maybe you could visit her for Easter. That is the best you can do.

Chessala

Thanks for the replies guys. This actually makes me feel a bit better as I had started to believe the that I'm as horrible as my mom said.

I'll see if we can talk later today when my sister arrives at home (we were supposed to take the same flight as we both live in Ireland but she couldn't pick me up anymore by the time everything went down).

@looksee: My OH had planned to spent Christmas with some friends as he couldn't get an affordable flight to Portugal.

I'm planning to visit for their 40 years anniversary in February so hopefully that will work out.