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Thought process that could effect sex life...

  • 21-12-2012 4:31pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi all,

    Something I have been thinking about and noticed a pattern with over the years and am trying to address "why".

    Ok, it's not like I am out constantly having sex every weekend. I am single more than I am with someone.

    However, I notice that I always enjoy sex more with someone I don't really know or care about. As in, if I know I am going to hook up and nothing will come of it, I seem to enjoy it more. So, if it was casual dating or one night stands etc, I tended not to think about it, and just go for it, and it's been enjoyable.

    It's not that I don't care about the people I was with casually or whatever, but it was always a case where I wasn't expecting a relationship to develop, so wasn't bothered, nor were they most of the time.

    With people who I actually *really* care about, I over think, and find having sex is almost like pressure on me, or that I would rather sit and talk to them and not have sex. The few relationships I had, well, with one, I don't think I was ever *really* attracted to her,so it came as no surprise. But with some people who I might really like, I am nearly wary of trying it on with them, so much so that it worries me how things will pan out when I do meet someone that I would like to spend my life with.

    I can't put my finger on why I feel like this. Maybe I have just been so used to hooking up with people for a few weeks, or a few weeks, and by default am not programmed into looking at the bigger picture.....


Comments

  • #2
    kjl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,127 ✭✭✭kjl


    I think sex with someone you care about becomes more than just sex, you become intimate. This pressure you speak of comes from a want to satisfy your lover.

    I think the relationships you had obviously didn't last long because as you become more familiar with your partner the pressure and the worry fades and when you truly make love it's better than a one night stand hands down.


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