Should I end it?

LegacyUser

Hi there.
I'm a 24 guy and my girlfriend is 22.
I moved to the UK back in 2009 for college, thats where I met here.
She is from the UK.
We've been together now about 3 years and living together about two years.

When I first met her, it literally was love at first sight. I was mad about her, after a bit of chasing and "will they won't they" we eventually got together.
Now I could go into great detail about our lives since then but I won't its been fairly normal stuff.

I am thinking of ending it.
I mean I do love her but there's a few problems and she won't talk about them with me.
first of all anyway.
We are coming to the end of our degree we are both in the same college doing the same course. She is dead set on staying in the UK pretty much the rest of her life, she has never been abroad doesn't have a passport and has never even come over to Ireland to meet my family.
She has even told me she doesn't want to live anywhere else so I'm not just inferring this from the above.
I've tried to convince her to come home with me loads of times for a visit but she just won't, she makes excuses and puts it off for another year.
I on the other hand am quite happy to leave the UK, there's lot of things I'm applying for in various different countries including Ireland. Staying in the UK is last on my list of choices.

While she's not great at talking about things. We have briefly discussed before about whats gonna happen in 4 months when we both finish.
She knows I'm eager to move away from here and even said she wouldn't want me to stay in the UK for her sake (not that I had any intentions of it anyway).

We both agreed that we wherever I end up we will try to keep the relationship going.

Thing is, I'm not sure if I want to
I do love her to bits, but she is my first ever girlfriend and I'm her first ever boyfriend and we've been together for 3 years.

Do you see where I'm going?

I just keep thinking to myself, "what if I don't know what love is?", "what if there's someone out there way more suited to me" and of course "I could never be faithful in a long distance relationship"

There's other problems in the relationship to.
She's never once came over to meet my family, always makes an excuse.
I don't really feel all that appreciated, I can't remember the last time I got a cup of tea out of nowhere, or a sexy surpise.
Speaking of which, the sex has gone downhill (congratulations on making it this far!!!)
After a recent pregnancy scare, she won't let me cum inside her even while wearing a condom. Now I actually have no problem with that but what always happens is she finishes first and then has no enthusiasm to get me off by other means. So I do it myself.
This is after atleast 10-20 minutes of foreplay before we even got to the sex, where she was the sole focus. I tried saying it to her but she got defensive saying I get loads of oral etc and I'm really lucky. I do get the odd blowjob, but not often enough to keep me feeling appreciated.

Sorry went off track on the sex thing but I wanted to give you exactly everything I'm thinking so you can help me better.

I think all this paints a bad picture of her, she is supportive in other ways and worries about me during exams and when I'm away from home and if I'm upset she is there for me the same as I'm there for her.

I don't know what to do.
Should I tell her that we only have a few months left and then end it? Keep it going until I go and then end it? or try and keep it going as a LDR?
Christ that was some amount of typing.
If you've read it all, thanks very much for taking the time! I did try to make it easy to read, hope it worked.

Lorna123

I just think OP that you need a break, whether it be forever or short term. Finish the college stuff and then go home to Ireland for a while and see how you both feel when separated. Don't make a big drama out of the break, just say that you want to sort out your career and that you need time on your own to think straight.

I feel that this time apart will either make it or break it.

Best of luck in your future career.

P. Breathnach

The central issue seems to be where you each want to be. She wants to stay in her home place, and you want to be somewhere else. The one thing that is missing in both positions is that neither of you takes the view that the best place to be is where the other one of you is. If being together is less important to each of you than being somewhere else, then you do not have a solid basis for a relationship.

ABajaninCork

I would agree. Sounds as though you want different things.

I disagree that a break is in order, and think the best thing is to break up completely. Your GF for whatever reason doesn't want to leave where she lives, and won't even come over to Ireland (for which you don't need a passport, unless you're going with Ryanair). Looks to me as though she's making no effort at all in the relationship, knows that things aren't good but doesn't know how to fix it.

Only thing is, if you want to go down the break-up route I suggest you do it as quickly as possible. Don't give her false hope by trying to stay as friends, or going the LTR route and be as kind as possible.

Good Luck & Happy Christmas! .