Criticism wanted

DMBandit

How's it goin all,
Been getting back into some songwriting recently after a bit of a hiatus..
Just browsing this forum and hoping some of you would have a listen to one I've been trying to rearrange recently.

https://soundcloud.com/dmbandit/03-feel-this-way

I realise it's a busy but was first time in a recording studio and all that so a bit too much going on!
Been trying to rearrange recently to give it more of an acoustic feel and added a bridge. Be interested to see what you guys think.

Cheers

9959

DMBandit wrote: »

How's it goin all,
Been getting back into some songwriting recently after a bit of a hiatus..
Just browsing this forum and hoping some of you would have a listen to one I've been trying to rearrange recently.

https://soundcloud.com/dmbandit/03-feel-this-way

I realise it's a busy but was first time in a recording studio and all that so a bit too much going on!
Been trying to rearrange recently to give it more of an acoustic feel and added a bridge. Be interested to see what you guys think.

Cheers

Well done, it's certainly energetic and your voice sounds reasonably good to me.

I hope these criticisms are not too harsh, I'm only trying to help.

The drum pattern is fine for the intro, but far too busy and cumbersome for the song's duration.
Also I'm not sure if you need so many 'symbol crashes',
I know it's your first time in the studio so you learn as you go along, next time try and ensure that the 'kick' sounds like what it should sound like, namely a Bass Drum, your 'kick' is very thin and really needs to be much fatter to distinguish it from the 'snare'.

The 'chorus' effect on the guitar sounds a bit dated to me, try some different guitar sounds, you might stumble on to something which really fits with the track.

What's there of the song sounds fine, though I get the impression of incompleteness, what sounds like an almost constant 'A minor' becomes wearisome and to these ears the track is crying out for an uplifting chorus - after your F major - to come crashing in - possibly on a C major followed by a G major.
I'm guessing that you might want to stick to your guns in terms of the somewhat overwhelming A minor. Sometimes this method can work, giving a track a hypnotic feel, however, what might feel hypnotic to you could unfortunately sound monotonous to others, perhaps you should try to write a chorus in 'C' as I suggest, if it doesn't work, no harm done.
Can't hear the lyrics all that clearly, the ones I can make out seem to make sense, nothing stupid or trite, which is important.

Posting work in progress and inviting criticism on a public forum is a brave thing to do.
The best of luck with your future efforts.
Keep going, you never know, persistence is half the battle!

DMBandit

Not harsh at all mate that's brilliant, exactly what I was looking for! I agree with everything you said, will give your suggestions a go. Thanks again.