In a rut

LegacyUser

Hi everyone.

I feel a bit silly for posting here, but I really need some sort of advice. Basically I'm struggling to see any way forward in life. Firstly, in my career. I'm in my early 20s and have recently been laid off from a good job. I'm university educated, but my degree is one which is not so in demand anymore. Any jobs I'm looking at are all temporary- covering people etc. I would love to have some sort of medium-term plan, but when I try and think about it I just become hopeless. I do not see a future beyond struggling to get by, and it's really getting me down. I don't want to emigrate either, I'd like to stay in Ireland.

Secondly, I have no one I can talk to. About anything. People might think I'm exaggerating here- but I genuinely have no friends. I have a loving partner, but I'm wary about overloading them with problems as I've been burned before. We do talk- I'd say we have a very healthy relationship in that respect. But I'm just very worried. I've driven away all of my other friends. I don't talk to anyone past my partner and family (except people online who I don't really know). I've tried to make friends by joining clubs and things, but I just can't talk to people anymore. Maybe that's a loss of confidence, I don't know. I get very depressed sometimes, I wish I had some of my old friends around. But as I said, I've burned my boats there. I don't know what to do anymore.

Sorry for the long post, thank you for reading,

bakergirl91

Hi OP really sad to hear about all of this, it truly sounds terribly stressful and disheartening for you right now. However, i know people who were in the same position as you work wise, and they kept on taking the small jobs and covers. It led them into a job there after a year or so after someone retired. Sometimes a window really does turn into a door
Secondly, for the friends situation. Alot of the time it can be hard to talk to peers about such circumstances, i find it myself. Cherish the support you get from your family and partner. Sometimes it is the clubs you dont think you will make friends in you actually do ! For example im pretty young and joined the local choir for some confidence, thinking i wouldnt fit in and all that, and now i have made great friends and people my age which i didnt expect! I wont pry about old friends, but whats stopping you rebuilding relationships? even if its just to come over for a chat or a drink out some night! you would be surpised, they may have been wondering how you were getting on too!!! And you may have driven them away but making a bit of effort goes a long way! the best of luck, really hope things look up for you !

pinkdiamond

I agree with BakerGirl, stick with the temp jobs. Once your CV builds up and the recession dies down a bit, you'll get the jobs you want.

As for the friend thing, I have recently found myself in a similar situation. I've tried to get into contact with old friends and it made me feel even more lonely- there is a reason they are old friends and not current friends! I started counseling which helps a LOT. Even if you think it's not a big problem that you have compared to most other peoples, if it upsets you, it IS worth talking about.

I think you're main issue is that you need something to look forward to. When you're not excited about something in particular in your future, it tends to look very bleak. Book a weekend away or start saving for a new pair of shoes.

I hope everything works out x