Long Distance Help

!Nicky!

Met a girl here in Oz.Fell in love.Now she's gone home to England and its gonna be 6 months before she back minimum.
We discussed the whole end it and meet up again when we're back idea but that didn't work out.

Just looking for advice on how to get through it.We talk every day by message or Skype or whatever but it's just so hard to have someone you love living on the opposite side of the planet.

Not knowing when she's gonna come back is the hardest part as she doesn't know herself due to a few different things at home.

Just wondering how people deal with this kind of stuff and try and stay happy over long periods of time.

Not really interested in people saying its not worth it keeping it going or whatever as if it comes to it we'll end it.Im more interested in how people deal with the constant **** feeling of not having someone you love there with you.

Black Swan

A well known long time poster here on boards stayed in touch long distance (email, IM, PMs, phone) for over 2 years, sometimes traveling to where she lived across the pond for vacations and long holidays. He eventually found work and relocated to where she lived, got married, and they have been together several years now. He seems happy that he did not lose her.

!Nicky!

Black Swan wrote: »

A well known long time poster here on boards stayed in touch long distance (email, IM, PMs, phone) for over 2 years, sometimes traveling to where she lived across the pond for vacations and long holidays. He eventually found work and relocated to where she lived, got married, and they have been together several years now. He seems happy that he did not lose her.

Thanks,the kind of stuff I like to hear.Any more much appreciated.

Selfheal

What's for you won't pass you - worth keeping that in mind.

brandom

Hey, I am currently 14 months into a ldr with my boyfriend, (Ireland/Canada) and yes its tough, but somehow we manage to make it work. It looks like we will be doing the ldr thing for another year or so at least, and that still is not going to put us off. Like you we have to rely a lot on skype and messages, and of course its not the same. We do try to visit as much as possible, in fact I am going over for New Years and that helps, its definitely easier knowing when we are going to actually see each other again, so I hope that once things settle down a little for your GF maybe you can plan something...its always good to have something to look forward to. The only other advice I can give is to try to stay busy, it does help the time go by a little faster. Good luck OP

curlzy

Awww that's really sad OP. I've only ever been separated from my guy for a week and that really sucked so I can only imagine how sh**ty this feels for you. I know a few people that do long distance and it works/worked for them. I think the main issue is trust. If you guys have good solid trust between ye then that's half the battle.

Also apparently partners miss their partner's scent and that causes alot of the heart ache, we're actually more instintive and animalistic then we like to think. So yeah maybe get her to send you her pj top or something she's worn for a little while (doesn't have to be stinky, just have her scent). Apparently having that and having the odd sniff and/or sleeping with it can be very comforting.

iusedtoknow

It is tough but both my sister(she between USA and Ireland) and I were able to do.

I was between Spain and Ireland (not the same as Oz/UK) for 1 year while I finished up a job and saved to move out. Our time together was minimal because I didn't have too many holidays left, and she was studying her ass off finishing up the equivalent of 3rd year medical.

We stayed in touch every day, skype will make it easier and the odd text message here and there. Little gifts sent through mean a lot, and as curlzy said - a scent is always good (pajama tops hold scent remarkably well) and try organize the odd surprise for her every now and then.

6 months will fly by, the year was tough for us but we've now been together together 5 years and married for 2

It can and will work if you want it to

An Bhanríon

Send each other letters in the post. Much more romantic than e-mail.

My ex-boyfriend and I got to know each other by sending letters - with little gifts inside. I thought it was so sweet! And then I kept them all so I could read back over them and remember those early days...

Off the top of my head I can name four couples who were apart for months on end and still stayed together. It's very possible! Just takes dedication on both sides...

rodom

Long distance relationships don't work. Been there done that worn the t-shirt. Best of luck i hope it's different in your case.

iusedtoknow

rodom wrote: »

Long distance relationships don't work. Been there done that worn the t-shirt. Best of luck i hope it's different in your case.

Yep, myself and my wife , my sister and her husband, 2 sets of friends and their respective partners are all miserable

rodom

iusedtoknow wrote: »

Yep, myself and my wife , my sister and her husband, 2 sets of friends and their respective partners are all miserable

12 or so people? Christ that's a lot considering the population on earth.

!Nicky!

Thanks to everyone for thier replies.Makes me feel a lot better hearing good stories like that.
As for LDR's not working,fair enough,some don't,but we'd rather try than never know.

W.Shakes-Beer

I am currently in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend. She has been teaching English in Japan for 5 months now.

Despite it being hard not having her with me and despite the distance, we have grown so close together as a couple and are on an entirely different level than we though possible before she left.

We keep in touch every single day and if you both have smartphones the Viber app is of great use! We Skype once a week and generally try get an email to eachother to wake up to each morning. Nothing beats a good ole handwritten letter every couple of weeks too!

Basically, communication will be your best friend and if you can talk easily together (have had many a 9 hour Skype date or phonecall - everyone things were mental :P )you should have no problem and always be planning forward.

As for "that feeling": Keep yourself busy; read, socialise, stay upbeat, exercise, think positive. I wont sugar coat it but you will have your days where you feel down and need her, I know I have at times but dropping her a nice email or having a huge phone call together really helps

In 3 weeks time I am leaving Ireland for Japan and will be reunited with her for a number of months before we return home and plan our next adventure, this time it'll be an adventure together We're both so excited.

So, is long distance a bad thing? I'm going to go with an overall NO, it isn't. If you are the right people then the distance will be no barrier and you'll both make the effort to maintain your bond. It isn't always easy as I said, there has been days where one or the other of us is upset but we reassure and talk.

All I can say is I wish you guys the best with it and hope it works out

!Nicky!

@W.Shakes-Beer ... Thanks mate!enjoy your adventure.

Id love to be able to travel away for months at a time but the situation I'm in with work here just doesn't allow it and may not for a while,but staying positive anyway.

dr gonzo

Been seeing my gf for the guts of a year now, after meeting her in college. She has subsequently moved back home (New York), but I'm here for the time being while I finish my masters. We do have plans for after I finish my degree (august 2013), but in the meantime its skype and texting for us.

As others have said, and as you obviously know yourself, it is not easy, but its never even entered our heads to end it, because truthfully, that seems harder.

We are happy enough for the time being, just make time to have good chats if you can, and keep the end date in mind. You'll be grand OP. Hang onto her if shes for you!

CaraMay

Some people are cut out for it and some arent. I have had a few LDR and would never do it again. I think the important thing is to have something planned e.g. a visit at Easter or the next time you Skype as it brings some structure into the relationship.

It can also be easier to waste time on a relationship that isnt working when its long distance as you put the bad communication down to distance etc. At the end of the day if you want to try thats your call but you need to have an end in sight as you cant be long distance for the rest of your lives.

!Nicky!

Lock it up please.

Bad news..:-(