Dropping Out of College

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,

Going unreg for this one. Basically I'm in 1st year in UCD doing Economics. When I initially filled out my CAO I had Psychiatric Nursing as my top choice but decided against it at the last minute. As I thought very immaturely that a)The money wasnt great and b) Girls wouldnt find it an attractive profession and my mates would give me a bit of stick. Looking back now these reasons are comical but it was spur of the moment decision done about two hours before the CAO deadline.

Now I find myself doing a course which I am deeply unhappy with and having to complete endless hours of study for assignments and tests on a subject I have little interest in. I broached the subject of dropping out and instead doing Psychiatric Nursing in September with my mother to which she got extremely angry with me for even suggesting it. I'm afraid to even mention it to my father as he's of the mindset you must always finish what you begin.

Just looking for a bit of advice on what to do? And how can I better break it to my parents?

Thanks in advance

Mccandless21

Hi potential dropout,

I am also a first year student who is a potential dropout. I know how you feel!

I am studying a course that I was 100% sure as for me. For the past 3 years this was what I was looking forward to, being able to study what I love. I got accepted and I was so unbelievably happy. Now looking back its hard to see why. I am miserable. I told myself that I would not make any harsh decisions until Christmas and with Christmas in 2 weeks, reality is setting in. I still have no idea what the hell I am going to do.

Here is my potentially useless advice (one potential dropout to another) :

Make a list or write a letter to yourself with all the reasons you want to dropout. It may seem stupid but reading it back really helps to get you out of your own head. It helps you understand that your thoughts are more than just reasons to complain and seeing it on paper makes it real.

Having little interest in your course is going to make the next 4 years of your life and your college experience painful. Although I understand how important your parents support and approval is, this is your career. Psychiatric Nursing is a demanding career that requires passion and a real want to help people that not everyone has, it would be such a shame to waste that sitting in an Economics lecture.

They may be angry and disappointed now or maybe even for a while but hopefully they will be able to look back with pride as you were mature enough to take your life in your own hands and make a life changing decision with conviction.

Its hard seeing your friends and people you know loving college when you are feeling the complete opposite. No one wants to be the one that dropped out of college in the first year. **** it, you have to do what makes you happy.

Try not to see this as a bad time in your life but as an exciting one. A time to work, save, travel etc - the world is your oyster.

"In 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now, how much possibility lay before you."

Lots of luck. x

LegacyUser

At the end of the day you need to do what makes yourself happy. I stayed in a course for 2 years that I hated, and eventually reapplied and am doing what I had originally considered on the CAO form, but now I'm kinda haunted by what would have happened if I had the sense to drop out from the course I hated earlier.

Your parents may be harder to convince, but money wise, the sooner you drop out the less you have to pay in fees for the first year of a new course. And elective wise you might be able to use credits from modules passed this semester in a new course through a prior learning form (the program support staff will help you with that)... and if you're studying economics, there's not really a job that you can walk into afterwards as more training or a masters will be needed, whereas with psychiatric nursing at least you have experience given within the course and a real qualification after it.

Maybe you can try to explain this to your parents, and if they understand, you can get a job (in a shop, restaurant etc) after dropping out before starting again...

And about friends giving you stick, well surely you would meet far more girls doing psychiatric nursing than friends that might be doing engineering etc. Tell them that's why you're doing it, more women!

There really isn't any point forcing yourself to do something that you don't enjoy just to keep everyone else happy. Convincing parents may be a bit more difficult, but if you can tell them that you won't be wasting (their?) money etc and will get a job in between then maybe they will be more supportive.

I really hope you figure out how to make yourself happy

Roisy7

OP, your post should be printed out and sent to Ruairi Quinn. This is why we shouldn't be allowed to decide our life plans at 17/18!

I was in your shoes but unfortunately there was no way my parents could afford for me to repeat. I wanted to do English and History instead of Arts but as they're quite similar I stuck with Arts. Made the best of it and ended up doing a masters in journalism which was different again. Again, I picked the college because I was scared of moving up to Dublin and all my friends were going to Limerick, not because I wanted to do Arts particularly.

But your course is so different from what you want to do, so that's not an option. I would advise you sit down your parents and explain what you want to do. I second 141212's advice, it's excellent.

Just to add- never do anything because someone else thinks it's the right thing. Live for yourself and best of luck in the future

hello there folks

You don't sound at all happy, you've clearly stated why you chose it and now sadly this is the result. I know you're young and it's hard to go against your parents and if you drop out and they wont support you then you'll be taking a very hard road.

I think you should drop out though but only having sorted a realistic plan to how to get to your goals. Explain to your folks how you feel and what your plan is. Don't stay doing something you dislike especially so early into it. If you drop out now may still be a chance to get partial fees back too!

Good luck

Luca Brasi

This situation is what third level education is about. Learning for living. Dont use the negative term drop out. You are simply changing courses. Thousands do it every year . You are wise enough to know that you have made a decision based on silly motives. You have realised this and are now mature enough to know that you need to change. Its your life not your parents. The college year is short so what harm is in organising your application for the nursing and maybe if you have funds go off travelling for a while and get away from the negative thinking of parents etc. Discuss this with the careers guidance at the college. Psychiatric nursing has advanced a long way from the lock them up in a padded cell approach. It needs good interested practitioners. This is your life and if you allow yourself to be forced into a career that you do not like you will be in need of psychiatric care yourself. You know what you have to do. Get all the facts together, seek career guidance and go for it.

Lorna123

I just think that your parents probably think that you don't know what you want, that you signed up for the Economics and changed your mind and that you will change your mind about the nursing too. You have to convince them that the nursing is really what you want. You could write down all the reasons you want to change and how you feel about the whole thing and hand this piece of paper to your parents, let them digest it and then have a conversation with them about it. I think you are right to follow your heart. Don't be afraid of what your parents think, they have your best interests at heart and they want you to be happy. You might be surprised at their reaction once you convince them how you feel.
Best of Luck.

Most parents want their children to be happy, print out what you have written to boards and give to you parent and ask them to read it go for a walk while they do this, you don't have to fully discuss it with them I know that would be hard, but it explains your situation very well and often in a discussion things can get heated and side tracked a bit.

You parents might be worried about the money situation so the quicker you leave the better.

If you have any money at all even a very small amout offer to pay some of the registration money next year it will show them you are determined to do what you alway wanted, by the way being a male nurse is no handicap to meeting girls in fact its a bonus as most of the people on your course will be female.

good luck.

Esoteric_

OP, I was in a similar position when I was just turned 17. When I filled out my CAO at 16, I wanted to do Psych Nursing, but my mother insisted it was too dangerous because my aunt had been attacked and badly injured while working as a psychiatric nurse. I ended up going for Environmental Science and despised the course, even though I actually love science.

I ended up dropping out in January of first year and honestly, I haven't looked back. Sure, I could have had a degree in it if I worked my butt off, but I wouldn't have wanted to work in that field.

Your parents will come around to the idea. Mine hit the roof when I dropped out, but after a few months they realised I could have stayed in college and done terribly because I wasn't happy, which would have just cost them a fortune in repeat fees as they were funding my education.

The one thing I will warn you about though - you get 4 years of 'free' college education from the Government, in that you only pay the registration fee, rather than full college fees. Because of this, I'm now 23 and had to wait til now to apply to go back to college, because I couldn't afford to pay full fees in another course. My second, third and 4th year would have been free (bar registration), but I'd have had to pay thousands for first year. I'm lucky in that my parents have offered to pay the rest of my fee money when I start in September (I don't have all of it saved, I'm 2k short), but it took me years to save that much to get back in the first place.

Be absolutely positive that this course isn't for you, if you decide to drop out. There is no shame in leaving to change courses, but you will have to pay a good bit of money to go back to college, so bear that in mind.

Ultimately, if you're not happy and it's not something you want to do, though, there is very little point in sticking with it.

Lightbulb Sun

I would drop out asap if you aren't enjoying the course.

I believe there's a deadline that you can drop out before and get a certain amount of fees back.

I was doing a college course I didn't like, that I realized I didn't want to do for the rest of my life, even though I was quite good at it. So I dropped out halfway through my second year, took a break by doing a PLC for a year, before going back and completing a 4 year course in something I enjoyed and was interested in. So now I have come out of it with more qualifications than I could hope for.

If you want to drop out and don't feel happy, then drop out. Explain it to your parents rationally - are they paying for the fees?