Can I stop him coming to my house to drop stuff off

Fiona

Hi all

Seperated 7 months and I am living on my own in a rented house.

My ex in the past has dropped in post and I have had no issue with that. However things have recently turned quite sour. (I text him to wish him a happy birthday a couple of months ago and I got a barage of abuse)

The day after my birthday I came home to find some garden furniture outside my front door. There was no advanced warning of this being left there. I politely text him to as that he did not leave items of like that outside my house without telling me first.

This morning I opened my door to find a letter in the letterbox, it was a letter from the hotel we got married in advising us of some special offers they had and my ex husband had taken kindly to writing some nasty personal messages on the letter.

Am I within my rights to get my solicitor to write to him & his solicitor to stop engaging in behaviour like this and for any official mail to be sent to me via registered post?

I do have most of my mail changed over but you know yourself there is always one that you forget.

I did of course point out to him today that any normal person would have rang the hotel and asked to be taken off the mailing list and binned the letter :rolleyes:

Abi

A safety order protects you from both physical and verbal abuse. Obviously in this case the physical side isn't the issue, but I'd hold into everything he has written on these letters. If they are abusive you do not have to take it. With this order he should be told to stay away from your home. He can forward on any post, or arrange to meet you for any other belongings.

Advise your solicitor of the problem and give proof of the abuse. A court date will be arranged and once the order is set in place you have the law behind you. He can not be physically abusive, verbally abusive, or put you in fear from that point on, or he may be arrested and be brought back to court.

Can I ask, have you moved on or has something changed? His change in attitude is a bit odd. I don't mean to pry, it just sounds like something I've experienced. My ex was basically pissed off with me for moving in, and was trying to provoke a reaction I suppose.

Fiona

Abi wrote: »

Can I ask, have you moved on or has something changed? His change in attitude is a bit odd. I don't mean to pry, it just sounds like something I've experienced. My ex was basically pissed off with me for moving in, and was trying to provoke a reaction I suppose.

Interesting you say this Abi!

I am in a relationship the last 6 months, not sure if he knows about it, I have no contact with any of his family or friends, total lockdown on my facebook etc was done when we parted ways to avoid all contact / snooping around.

He was spouting off though in messages today that he had met somebody so I feel that since we had a clean break as in no assets / kids etc to fight over that he was almost using this as a way to fight with me if that makes sense?

Obviously I couldn't care less if he has shacked up with anybody else it's none of my business but I can only assume that was his motive. I am not threatened by this letter so in my eyes it's not severe enough to warrent anything court related but would solicitors letter be justified for now?

(ps I have lived here since I moved out of the house)

Abi

See I wasn't sure how severe the abuse was Fiona, but perhaps a letter will do. You should definitely go visit your solicitor, and bring examples.


Oh I got that one too... 'im seeing someone'... 'she's having a baby' .... None of which ever materialised. My lack of reaction and the fact I was happy with someone else only threw fuel onto the fire. I'm not saying your ex would do anything like this, but my ex got drunk regularly, abusive texts and calls, and then when he started smashing up my property I finally did something about it.

On a much smaller level, I think your ex may possibly be throwing his rattle out of the pram over the new guy. He may have heard it from someone, you never know.

It's not a nice thing to have to deal with anyway hon.

Fiona

Yeah I think throwing the rattle out of the pram is the best way to describe it

I will show it to the solicitor anyway and take his advice on it, nip it in the bud.

ahnowbrowncow

Did you have an affair? In a relationship 6 months and marriage only ended 7 months. It's none of my concern but it would explain his reaction if he found out.

Fiona

ahnowbrowncow wrote: »

Did you have an affair? In a relationship 6 months and marriage only ended 7 months. It's none of my concern but it would explain his reaction if he found out.

I did have an brief encounter with somebody two years ago but it was not the person that I am seeing now so no they are not connected.

(My ex was no angel either just in case you were about to judge)

ahnowbrowncow

Fiona wrote: »

I did have an brief encounter with somebody two years ago but it was not the person that I am seeing now so no they are not connected.

(My ex was no angel either just in case you were about to judge)

No as I said it's none of my business, was just thinking it may have been a cause.

I don't understand why people act like this after a relationship, just confirms splitting was the best decision.

Anyways, I doubt I can be of any help so I'll bow out of this thread and best of luck.

dixiefly

Unacceptable behaviour on his part, in fact it is juvenile behaviour. How and why ye broke up is irrelevant.

Yes, you should certainly inform your solicitor and keep a log just in case itb getss more persistant.