How to cope without visits from health visitor/midwife after birth?

xiwang

Hi there, I am wondering about the health visitor or midwife visits most people get, how valuable were they to you? Did anybody not have them?

Basically I am looking for some reassurance or stories to put my mind to ease because there are no midwives available for home visits where we live.

NTC

Hi,

From my experence the most impotant thing to remember about them is that they are filling out forms and ticking boxes.

When they ring you and tell you they are coming, disregard the time. Continue to do what ever you had planned e.g. eat/sleep/rest/feed! Do not put anything on hold. We did, the nurse rang us and told us she was on the way (1130 and we are about a 20 minute drive away). She did not show up for 3 hours. We missed lunch and kept the baby awake thinking she would be there any minute. It was a knightmare, this caused us alot of knockon issues during our first week at home. It was out first baby and we didn't know any better.

We had 3 different Public Health Nurses call to us and none of them gave us the same information. The 4th visit (the last nurse) was fantastic, very friendly and helpful. If only we had her day one!

cch

I had one visit from the PHN, on day 5 for the heel prick test, that was it! I didn't go through a midwife-led unit if that makes any difference...

Gee_G

I presumed it was standard everywhere that a public health nurse called to you. Mine called 4 or 5 times to me since my man was born in August and I was up with her once in clinic. To be honest I liked it. But then she was very good and approachable.nice to be able to ask questions you're not sure of and just for that extra reassurance getting baby weighed etc but I suppose you can get that done with gp.

xiwang

Thanks for your answers so far. Maybe I misunderstood them, but when I asked at my last appointment they told me they don't drive out that far. My GP has a nurse at his surgery most days, I was told to come see her 2 weeks after baby is born for weighing and a general check, but I don't think anybody will be calling to our house.

Moonbeam

the phn called to do the heel prick test but never had a visit otherwise.
I brought the kids to the phn for other check ups but it is a long time since we have been.

sillysocks

Our PHN was next to useless, had one visit from her about 5 days after baby was born, and in all honesty we weren't any better off after her visit (and that's not to say we weren't clueless first timers)! We still have to visit her every so often for developmental checks, but I think if you have some family support and a doctor/nurse you normally go to you'd be fine.
I know in my hospital too we were able to ring the midwives for a few weeks after the baby was born with any questions we had.

Moonbeam

xiwang wrote: »

Hi there, I am wondering about the health visitor or midwife visits most people get, how valuable were they to you? Did anybody not have them?

Basically I am looking for some reassurance or stories to put my mind to ease because there are no midwives available for home visits where we live.

Are you worried about the 1st few weeks at home with baby by yourself? the 1st few weeks are by far the hardest and take all offers of cooked food and people you trust offering to hold the baby for a while so you can have a shower:)
Accepting help makes life easier.

xiwang

Thanks Moonbeam, that is exactly it, the first week or so. OH has had some experience with newborns since all his siblings are 10+ years younger than himself, but I have never so much as seen a newborn to be honest. At least I know I can trust OH to hold baby while I shower, and he's done a good job on filling the freezer with homemade food.

The few new mommies I know from outside the forum all swear by the PHN visits they got and they keep on telling me they were priceless, which is not helping a lot, but it is good to hear that not everybody thinks their visitors where the ultimate helping heroes!

How Strange

I had a great phn who came every couple of days for the first two weeks and then I never saw her again until 3-4 months.

I was breastfeeding and she was a breastfeeding mother so she was a great support to me for those initial visits. However I had friends who breastfed who were harangued by their phn over poor weight gain, feeding routines and not giving formula to 'give yourself a break'.

Eventually one friend had to tell the phn to leave her alone as she had her scares witless that she was starving her baby with breastmilk.

I know I had a good phn for 2 weeks but she was nowhere to be seen or found when I had mastitis, had a colicky screaming baby or generally feeling out of my depth. Fortunately you learn these things as you go along but without doubt the greatest support system you have is like minded family and friends with children.

You and your baby are also covered with your gp for the first 6 weeks so font ignore that support system if you need it.

Get out of the house everyday if at all possible and connect with people. It's very daunting and scary at the beginning but you'll find your own confidence once you start getting out and getting back into real life.

Rachineire

great advice!! I live just down the road from the local PHN office here so im thinking i will get them in no hassle, well except for the time of year being christmas and all! I think they have to come at least 4 times here from what I know...? Orange book?

Xdancer

Xiwang, you'll be fine.
Where I live there is no such thing as a health visitor calling to the house, and it was fine. I don't have family here either so it really was just myself, my OH and our little girl and we managed without any problems.

On day 5 we took her for her heel test and from then on I made sure to get out and about everyday for a bit.

NBO

In my experience PHN's call to everyone at least once, sometimes more often depending on their caseloads and your needs. You can call to them in the nearest health centre if you have any concerns, most have times where they are available for a drop in clinic. Some of my friends loved the visits, some hated them, depends on your personality. I think all PHN's are also midwives so can answer most questions.

samina

The one for my last child was useless I ended throwing her out. The baby had some minor health problems. She had nothing useful to contribute so I told her not to come back til she did. Never saw her again. you get more help and support and advice from friends and family.

Glowing

My phn was great, considering all I did was cry when she was here I think I was lucky - but when it comes to breastfeeding I would be inclined to seek advice from the midwives, or a lactation consultant.

Neyite

I live a stones throw from our PHN and they were good - not so much for the home vist - I found boards here to be a better help in that regard but they ran coffee mornings 6 over 12 weeks and you got to meet other mums and it was lovely. Talking to other mums who had tips and tricks that worked for them was more beneficial to me.

So, if there is a mums group near you, or if you plan to breastfeed try a breastfeeding group - and join in. I have yet to find a mum who isnt happy to chat and share their experiences in the groups I went to.

Mary28

If u bottle feed ull probably see ur Phn once after baby is home. Once they are happy baby is thriving & ur ok they might be happy enough & will leave u alone till 3mth check up unless u call them for something.
If u breast feed ull probably see a lot more of them ESP if baby doesn't put on weight as quickly. I found it very annoying even tho I liked the Phn. My babies were v slow to gain so I saw Phn a few times a week.
I second the breast feeding groups. Great source of support ESP if ur not native to ur area & don't have family/friends nearby. Gets u out of the Hse too.

Squiggler

We've only been to the PHN once, for his 3 month check at 12 weeks. We were released early so we had midwives coming out from the hospital for the first 5 days and they did the heel prick test.

If you are planning to breastfeed start it as soon as possible after the birth (I started almost immediately - incredible to see that new little person nosing around looking for food), feed as often as you can and ignore the hospital's every three hours crap, for breastfed babies that's a minimum, not a benchmark. You need to get as much colostrum into your baby as you can, it's full of goodness and the most important thing you can give your baby after life.

Feeding the baby on demand after that, or every hour or two at the most, will help to ensure that your milk comes in quickly, and enough of it. Boys tend to be hungrier than girls which helps, but my little man was back up to, and past, his birthweight at 3 days while being exclusively breast fed.

We went to my gp for the 6 week check (which is free if you did combined care) for both of us. Nice to know the PHN is there if we felt we needed her, but again, family and friends (and the parenting forum here on Boards) have been much more valuable to us.

pwurple

It depends on your phn. Mine was the stupidest human being have ever met, zero help with breastfeeding. Would have been better off without her confusing me.

SanFran07

You could also look into hiring a postnatal doula to give you a hand in the first week or two if there's one in your area. Their role is to 'mother the mother' and help you recover quickly and give you a hand with the baby while you find your feet. The PHN might be able to recommend someone to you.

SuloBulo

I was very lucky, my PHN was lovely.
I enjoyed her visits. She weighed my daughter at visits - and it was always great to hear that she was putting on weight, especially as I was breastfeeding.

She was also v supportive when my little one had Colic.

She introduced me to attend Breastfeeding Group - which I did for a while. Not my cuppa cha, so didn't stay.

She also gave me her mobile, and I was able to ring up and ask a question anytime... which was great. Peace of mind is wonderful.