Sensitive Subject - upper lip hair

LegacyUser

Hi

Im in a really awkward situation with my gf but don't know how to act..

Basically, Ive noticed in the last couple of weeks she has a bit of hair growing on her upper lip.. Its noticeable in bright lighting and is quite off-putting. I don't know how to approach her about it because it would probably be humiliating for her and I don't want to embarrass her. Is this a hormone thing because she has recently gone on the pill?

Has anyone else had this before? I dont want to hurt her feelings by saying some insensitive. I had hoped some of her close friends or mother to notice or something but Ive no idea about female grooming as its my first gf. She's recently had a spa day so I cant exactly suggest another trip there!

Help!

Bambii_

I can't say whether it is a hormone thing or not, that she needs to discuss with her doctor, but it is possible.

Say it to her in a honest but gentle way. Don't tell her it's off-putting, but just say you've noticed it and other people may so too. Tell her you're only looking out for her as you don't want girls talking about her behind her back. Also mention that it's natural, many girls have upper lip hair and there is many ways to deal with it (bleaching, waxing, plucking, shaving..). Also mention you only noticed it since she started the pill and suggest she see her doctor if she wants to change to a smaller dose.

LegacyUser

OP I think you may be being a bit superficial here, ok fair enough if it's really noticeable dark hair but you say it's only noticeable under bright lights, if it's just light fair hair there's probably not a lot she can do about it to be honest, she'd just make it worse in the long run (especially if it's only due to the pill) by removing fair hair that isn't obvious under normal lighting. Believe me OP if it's obvious to you she'll have seen it herself, she may just think it's not bad enough to warrant waxing/plucking, I doubt she's humiliated or embarrassed by it if she hasn't taken measures already to remove it. Perhaps it is more you who has a problem with it? or are embarrassed being seen with her?

I really don't think there's a way you can deal with this without offending her to be honest, you either decide that you love her regardless of her appearance and keep quiet, or you decide that it's a deal breaker for you. If it's that latter then your only option is to say it to her straight out, I personally wouldn't go for the route suggested by the other poster telling her "it's natural, many girls have upper lip hair and there is many ways to deal with it" she's not an idiot, she's a woman herself, presumably she shaves her legs/armpits, she knows it's natural for a woman to have hair, it would come across incredibly condescending. Also telling her you don't want girls talking about her behind her back would be a horrible thing to say to her!! ( Maybe I'm being very naive but I doubt many women over the age of 16 would be so catty as to gossip about another woman's barely noticeable facial hair!). If it's really a deal breaker for you just tell her you've noticed she's got a bit of dark hair on her upper lip recently since she's started taking the pill, and you're concerned that maybe it's an indication that it's too strong a dosage for her and maybe to be on the safe side with regards her health and other more serious side effects of the pill she should check with her doctor that it isn't to strong for her. (which I actually genuinely would be a little concerned about for what it's worth)

Honestly I really don't think there's any way you can tell her OP without coming out of it at best looking very shallow or at worst her getting really offended and upset (that's not me having a go at you OP, it is just one of those really awkward situations unfortunately).

kflynn

Agree with the poster above. Sometimes it can be the way you put on your make up! It's completely normal I have one sometimes, very light hair but you can kind of see it sometimes. I went to a beautician and asked to get it waxed. She told me not to because it would just get worse!

I think I would like to be told if it was something my OH noticed, but if it actually happened I think I would get really offended. It's something her mother should have said really!

Katy89

I agree with the other two posters above, it sounds a bit superficial from your side.
is it really dark hair? dark hair on the upper lip on a woman can be a bit disturbing for others, but you said the hair is only visible in the right light so I would assume it's not dark hair, it's rather fair.
And I wouldn't think it's the pill, I presume it was always there.

there's no way mentioning it to her and her not being offended or hurting her self-conciousness or she must have really really thick skin.
and it's directly to do with her body which she can't really change.

It's different if you say you don't like this and that clothes on her, it wouldn't be so hurtful (although as well superficial) as she could change it easily, but it's a different thing here.
I mean, you love her, don't you? from her personality and all.

or are there some doubts and other resentments? often poeple don't realise there are issues in the relationship and they don't start tackling that issue, they avoid it, but find things that matter on other parts, like hair somewhere...
I would say if you truly love her, the bit of hair wouldn't matter at all or at least you wouldn't want to tell her to nut hurt her. think about it.