People who never/rarely refer to you by your first name

qwert2

Have you ever come across people who seem to have difficulty referring to people by their first name? I'm not talking about strangers, I'm on about relatives, work mates, neighbours etc..

And when they do mention your name it's like the last resort to get your attention.
I use to put it down to shyness, but I wonder if it's a lack of respect or just arrogance

Shryke

That went out of fashion toward the end of secondary school. It sounds like some people aren't quite grown up.

Praetorian Saighdiuir

None of my family, relatives, colleagues or friends call me by my first name. They each use a seperate bastardised version of it.

To each of the above groups, I am known by different names.

qwert2

benwavner wrote: »

None of my family, relatives, colleagues or friends call me by my first name. They each use a seperate bastardised version of it.

To each of the above groups, I am known by different names.

I should have highlighted that I'm talking about people who don't call you anything!

DEFTLEFTHAND

I never really had a nickname, people would use my surname which I don't like unless it's prefixed by Mr. Sir is how I like to be addressed by strangers and acquaintances. Only close friends and family would ever dare use my first name.

:cool::rolleyes::pac:

Praetorian Saighdiuir

qwert2 wrote: »

I should have highlighted that I'm talking about people who don't call you anything!

"ah here bud".......nope

Misticles

I expect to get a rollicking when addressed by my first name. All close to me use the shortened version.

When I'm mad/angry ill always refer to someone by their first name.

/strange

DazMarz

Not particularly, but there's a friend of mine and everybody calls him by his nickname, apart from his immediate family. Even his girlfriend calls him by a bastardised version of his nickname. His brother once asked me if I was here to see <his real name> and I actually stared at him blankly for a few seconds before realising that, yes... that is his real name...

Lollers

You know I've never called my mum by her first name, and when I hear others saying her name it sounds strange. For a few seconds it makes me realise before she was my mum she was first and foremost someones daughter, sister, friend then wife and finally 'just' mum. Slightly off topic but there you go.

Irishcrx

Ah it depends, people often refer to me by my second name but I don't mind it , it's a second name people like saying and it's been like that all my life.

im invisible

Misticles wrote: »

When I'm mad/angry ill always refer to someone by their first name.

/strange

yeah, i do that too... i dont know why

MaxSteele

Dad's side of the family call me Fergal and the mother's side call me michael.

My name is SIMON FFS.

brummytom

I wouldn't really see the need to refer to someone by their name if you're talking to them. Maybe saying "Alright 'Dave'?", when you first talk to them, but 'Alright?' would suffice.

If someone was talking to me and kept saying 'Yeah Tom' 'well this is the thing Tom' 'you know yourself Tom' it'd do my fcuking head in.

Hande hoche!

MaxSteele wrote: »

Dad's side of the family call me Fergal and the mother's side call me michael.

My name is SIMON FFS.

Don't know why but that made me laugh. Kudos.

SafeSurfer

I have difficulty remembering people's names and often get them wrong, so tend to avoid using them. People look the same to me.

ToddyDoody

brummytom wrote: »

I wouldn't really see the need to refer to someone by their name if you're talking to them. Maybe saying "Alright 'Dave'?", when you first talk to them, but 'Alright?' would suffice.

If someone was talking to me and kept saying 'Yeah Tom' 'well this is the thing Tom' 'you know yourself Tom' it'd do my fcuking head in.

I remember hearing a radio presenter do that during an interview to overcompensate for the fact he was lining up cds as the guest was talking - Not quite natural sounding

WumBuster

I usually address people by their mothers' name. Its much more personable i find.

YFlyer

Seems to be a Kilkenny thing here in University of Limerick

YFlyer

WumBuster wrote: »

I usually address people by their mothers' name. Its much more personable i find.

I bet it is.

Sunnyisland

When I am talking or calling someone I would always use there first name,it shows some respect for the person and likewise when people are talking or calling me.

admiralofthefleet

i havent been called my first name in years, everyone just shortens it to gar

Lando Griffin

I was helping a lad at work through a problem and when we were finished exclaimed to me "Good lad", eventhough I did all the work.
He is 12 years my junior FFS LOL.

nbar12

MaxSteele wrote: »

Dad's side of the family call me Fergal and the mother's side call me michael.

My name is SIMON FFS.

Yeah right, your name is definitely Max Steele

Kerrigooney

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

i havent been called my first name in years, everyone just shortens it to gar

Garfield?

ham_n_mustard

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

i havent been called my first name in years, everyone just shortens it to gar

You shouldnt have to put up with that, Garfield

ham_n_mustard

Kerrigooney wrote: »

Garfield?

dammitt...

Sofiztikated

I have a friend, and he's know by everyone as his nickname. Even his mother calls him by it. Except his girlfriend (well, now ex.) She always called him by his real name.

Twas odd.

I have another friend, and I knew him by his nickname, and his nickname only. One day, he called to my house, and my mother saw the car, and asked me, "Was that FirstName LastName? I used to work with him in such and such a factory." I honestly couldn't tell her his name!

I have a tendancy to call people buddy, bud, horse, man, chief, chef, etc. Basically anything I can, when I'm trying to remember their name. Could be someone I see every day. It's just sometimes my brain has to catch up with my mouth, when it comes to names.

Pottler

qwert2 wrote: »

Have you ever come across people who seem to have difficulty referring to people by their first name? I'm not talking about strangers, I'm on about relatives, work mates, neighbours etc..

And when they do mention your name it's like the last resort to get your attention.
I use to put it down to shyness, but I wonder if it's a lack of respect or just arrogance

I don't remember it. Simple as. I meet dozens and dozens of people every day and I'm fecked if I'm remembering all their names. Also, usually it means you were fairly forgettable...

Duggy747

I'm always called Duggy, rarely ever called by my proper name except for work and it's very strange when someone I know like my GF calls me by it.

cuana

As a child my first name was rarely used! I or should I say we were always called ''twin'' being identical I assume at some point it was because my brother & sisters may have struggled to know who was who! Though damn my mother always knew the difference

I am usually always refereed to by my surname

woodoo

OP i think it is a bit of social awkwardness and shyness, they may also not be great with names.

I know what you mean it can come across quite rude some times especially if they are shouting hey, hey, hey and then launch into what they had planned to say. It would seem easier and friendlier to say hey John/Pat or whatever to get your attention first.

languagenerd

I don't think girls get called by their surnames as much as lads do. I don't know if I've ever been referred to by just my surname, though I know a lot of guys who have. Weird.

As far as my first name goes... all of my family members have variants of it that they use, but most of my friends and classmates/colleagues use my actual name. (When they're not yelling "Hey, you!" at me :P)

I don't often address people by name. Don't know why, I just don't - unless I'm calling them to get their attention or if I'm speaking to several people at once and need to specify - but very rarely mid-conversation when it's only one person. I find that people who repeat your name constantly in conversation are the ones who think they're going to forget it, so constantly use it :P

Greentopia

Never been referred to by my last name, but then females never are, are they.

My Mum and close friend call me by an abbreviated form of my name-Chrissie. I like that. It's endearing.
I was called Stina by a few friends when I lived in Sweden which I like too.

cuana

Greentopia wrote: »

Never been referred to by my last name, but then females never are, are they.

My Mum and close friend call me by an abbreviated form of my name-Chrissie. I like that. It's endearing.
I was called Stina by a few friends when I lived in Sweden which I like too.

I'm female and always called by second name

LordSutch

qwert2 wrote: »

Have you ever come across people who seem to have difficulty referring to people by their first name? I'm not talking about strangers, I'm on about relatives, work mates, neighbours etc..

It was a form of deference back in the day, but not so much nowadays, thank God . . . . .

annascott

qwert2 wrote: »

I should have highlighted that I'm talking about people who don't call you anything!

Is this considered bad manners? I rarely use names. I just say "Hello..."

Mickey H

MaxSteele wrote: »

Dad's side of the family call me Fergal and the mother's side call me michael.

My name is SIMON FFS.

I thought your name was Max. Seriously.

fasttalkerchat

I hate the whole Sir thing. Working in a customer facing role its awkward so to avoid "Here, mate..." I usually use sorry or excuse me when I don't know someone's name.

AgathaC

Pottler wrote: »

I don't remember it. Simple as. I meet dozens and dozens of people every day and I'm fecked if I'm remembering all their names. Also, usually it means you were fairly forgettable...

Sounds like your too up yourself to try and remember others ppl's names. You meet so many ppl everyday. Get over yourself, whatever your name is!!

There were 6 people with my first name in primary school and more in secondary school so I go by my surname. It is odd when friends' parents call me by my surname and funny when friends ask my parents if I'm here and refer to me by my surname.
Only people who call me by my first name are people in college who I'm not really "friends" with.

fasttalkerchat

AgathaC wrote: »

Sounds like your too up yourself to try and remember others ppl's names. You meet so many ppl everyday. Get over yourself, whatever your name is!!

He could have 50 regular customers whose names he tries but fails to remember.

fasttalkerchat

Deleted User wrote: »

There were 6 people with my first name in primary school and more in secondary school so I go by my surname. It is odd when friends' parents call me by my surname and funny when friends ask my parents if I'm here and refer to me by my surname.
Only people who call me by my first name are people in college who I'm not really "friends" with.

Benjamin Button

Pottler

AgathaC wrote: »

Sounds like your too up yourself to try and remember others ppl's names. You meet so many ppl everyday. Get over yourself, whatever your name is!!

I probably am, in fairness. I have to remember feckin hundreds of names, if a few escape me, there you go. You might be right though, Barry.