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Xmas music videos: tell the truth

  • 03-12-2012 1:03am
    #1
    Its Behind You!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 333 ✭✭


    I was watching Mr David Essex sing about the 'love that would never be' in his shockingly bad video 'A Winters Tale'.

    Well if he hadn't lived in a shed in the middle of a field he might have stood a chance of pulling an Xmas bird.

    Any more Xmas vids that reveal a similar home truth?


Comments

  • #2
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    David Essex could pull more birds than all of us here combined.

    Granted, that isn't many, but still. . . . . . .


  • #3
    Spiritual
    Closed Accounts Posts: 491 ✭✭Spiritual


    Where To wrote: »
    David Essex could pull more birds than all of us here combined.

    Granted, that isn't many, but still. . . . . . .

    Excuse you. I have plucked hundreds of turkeys in my time.


  • #4
    fonecrusher1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,708 ✭✭✭fonecrusher1


    I only begin to recognise Christmas about 10 days before the 25th of December.

    Please call back later.


  • #5
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    Spiritual wrote: »
    Excuse you. I have plucked hundreds of turkeys in my time.
    Bet the turkeys don't sing this to you though. . . .

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9G2lqY3Nuk0


  • #6
    Spiritual
    Closed Accounts Posts: 491 ✭✭Spiritual


    Where To wrote: »
    Bet the turkeys don't sing this to you though. . . .

    Turkeys can't sing, especially after you have rung their necks. I used to say goodbye to each of them individually and thank them for the feast they were about to provide.

    Least I could do.


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  • #7
    Its Behind You!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 333 ✭✭Its Behind You!


    I'm pretty sure that Joseph in Frankie's 'The Power Of Love' vid was 'blacked up'.

    Would you let a bloke like that into your house, no matter how desperate him or his missus were?


  • #8
    Chuck Stone
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,030 ✭✭✭✭Chuck Stone


    I'm not a pleasant ****er I'm a pleasant ****er's son and I'm only ****ing pleasant 'til the pleasant ****er comes.


  • #9
    Spiritual
    Closed Accounts Posts: 491 ✭✭Spiritual


    Chuck Stone wrote: »
    I'm not a pleasant ****er I'm a pleasant ****er's son and I'm only ****ing pleasant 'til the pleasant ****er comes.


    Pheasant but pleasant is good too, actually better.


  • #10
    Insect Overlord
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,996 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    The Darkness had a song, "Don't Let The Bells End", which had not one but two euphemisms for male genitalia in the lyrics.

    Made for a good stocking-filler though.


  • #11
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    Spiritual wrote: »
    Turkeys can't sing
    Oh really?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlitbJKaYy0


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  • #12
    Chuck Stone
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,030 ✭✭✭✭Chuck Stone


    Spiritual wrote: »
    Pheasant

    Yes I am quite pleasant. Thanks for asking.


  • #13
    Spiritual
    Closed Accounts Posts: 491 ✭✭Spiritual


    Where To wrote: »
    Oh really?

    Yes really, that is a cartoon set to a musical track based on MC Hammers worldwide hit.


  • #14
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    Spiritual wrote: »
    Yes really, that is a cartoon set to a musical track based on MC Hammers worldwide hit.
    Can't fool you to easy can I?

    How's about this? Turkeys singing Orinocco Flow by Enya;

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9zvgcOrTtw


  • #15
    Its Behind You!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 333 ✭✭Its Behind You!


    Insect Overlord wrote: »
    The Darkness had a song, "Don't Let The Bells End", which had not one but two euphemisms for male genitalia in the lyrics.

    Made for a good stocking-filler though.
    OMG....one of my fav Xmas songs, ruined forever!

    Sex and drugs! Is that what Christmas is all about?

    'I wish it could be Christmas Every Day' is another pushers delight.

    Cos when Mr Roy Wood sings 'when Santa brings the snow' he's actually talking about his drug dealing friend bringing his other mate 'Charlie' to the party.

    And thus 'puts a great big smile upon somebody's face'.

    Society is ruined.


  • #16
    Spiritual
    Closed Accounts Posts: 491 ✭✭Spiritual


    Where To wrote: »
    Can't fool you to easy can I?

    How's about this? Turkeys singing Orinocco Flow by Enya;

    This is a man that can speak to Turkeys, he is in fact a priest and this was their act of contrition before we moved in.

    Turkeys are invariably sinners and need to repent.


  • #17
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    Its Behind You! wrote: »
    OMG....one of my fav Xmas songs, ruined forever!

    Sex and drugs! Is that what Christmas is all about?

    'I wish it could be Christmas Every Day' is another pushers delight.

    Cos when Mr Roy Wood sings 'when Santa brings the snow' he's actually talking about his drug dealing friend bringing his other mate 'Charlie' to the party.

    And thus 'puts a great big smile upon somebody's face'.

    Society is ruined.
    'Driving home for Christmas' by Chris Rea is actually about anal sex, listen to the first two lines;

    Driving home for Christmas
    I can't wait to see those faeces.


  • #18
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    The classic Christmas song for a number of years was Wham's "Last Christmas", and this was before George Michael came out, that a gay friend of mine and I were talking one night when he happened to come out with "In the video for Last Christmas you can clearly see George Michael flirting with Andrew!"...

    "WHAT??", I thought, "No way! You're dreaming now man, every girl's fantasy and you're trying to tell me he's gay? GTFO!".

    Turns out many years later my mate had a freakishly tuned gaydar, but judge for yourselves:




  • #19
    MadsL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,299 ✭✭✭✭MadsL


    Spiritual wrote: »
    Turkeys can't sing, especially after you have rung their necks. I used to say goodbye to each of them individually and thank them for the feast they were about to provide.

    Least I could do.


    False. Here's a medieval recipie to make a bird 'sing' after you roast it.

    To Make that Chicken Sing when it is dead and roasted - from The Vivendier:
    To Make that Chicken Sing when it is dead and roasted, whether on the spit or in the platter. Take the neck of your chicken and bind it at one end and fill it with quicksilver and ground sulphur, filling until it is roughly half full; then bind the other end, not too tightly. When it is quite hot, and when the mixture heats up, the air that is trying to escape will make the chicken's sound. The same can be done with a gosling, with a piglet and with any other birds. And if it doesn't cry loudly enough, tie the two ends more tightly.

    WARNING: Quicksilver (mercury) is highly toxic and should NEVER be handled, let alone be used in cooking. This recipe should never be recreated using that ingredient.


  • #20
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    MadsL wrote: »
    [SIZE="1"]WARNING: Quicksilver (mercury) is highly toxic and should NEVER be handled, let alone be used in cooking. This recipe should never be recreated using that ingredient.[/SIZE]


    Off to the microwave thread with you Mad Hatter! :D

    The sulphur alone in that recipe would smell like rotten eggs, but just to make it fun, you could substitute the mercury for magnesium and when it heats up you'd get quite the light show as well as the sound effects! :D


  • #21
    Its Behind You!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 333 ✭✭Its Behind You!


    George Michael had come out long before Last Christmas.

    'Wake Me Up Before Hugo goes' etc.


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  • #22
    9959
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,785 ✭✭✭9959


    Insect Overlord wrote: »
    The Darkness had a song, "Don't Let The Bells End", which had not one but two euphemisms for male genitalia in the lyrics.

    Made for a good stocking-filler though.

    Dear Mr.Overlord,
    I do not for one minute believe that male genitalia would "make for a good stocking-filler".
    Yours,
    Wayne Bobbitt


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