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What to do :/

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  • 03-12-2012 1:03am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Okay so I've been dating my boyfriend for 2.5 years. Things have been very rocky and he's very moody but I do love him and it's hard to think about breaking things off. But recently I've met this new guy at work and I feel like we've got so much chemistry and he's just so easy to get along with. He reminds me of the way my boyfriend was when we first met. Everything was just so nice and easy. My current relationship is my first ever, so I've got this thing playing through my head that I should date more people and get out in the world while I'm young. But I'm in a bit of a comfort zone with it.. I don't know what to do :/ I'm obviously flirting with this guy at work and he doesn't know I'm in a relationship and I really don't want to tell him that I am.. Is it just an innocent crush or is it time to move on? I've never had a crush on anyone during my relationship before.. Sorry if this is very disjointed! I'm just kinda confused :(
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    #2
    sffc
    Closed Accounts Posts: 433 ✭✭sffc


    confused_crush wrote: »
    Okay so I've been dating my boyfriend for 2.5 years. Things have been very rocky and he's very moody but I do love him and it's hard to think about breaking things off. But recently I've met this new guy at work and I feel like we've got so much chemistry and he's just so easy to get along with. He reminds me of the way my boyfriend was when we first met. Everything was just so nice and easy. My current relationship is my first ever, so I've got this thing playing through my head that I should date more people and get out in the world while I'm young. But I'm in a bit of a comfort zone with it.. I don't know what to do :/ I'm obviously flirting with this guy at work and he doesn't know I'm in a relationship and I really don't want to tell him that I am.. Is it just an innocent crush or is it time to move on? I've never had a crush on anyone during my relationship before.. Sorry if this is very disjointed! I'm just kinda confused :(
    First and foremost you are playing a dangerous game. You need to be very careful . You are leading the new guy on because you aren't telling him you have a boyfriend. Apart from being dishonest you are playing with fire. He may be very angry when he finds out but more likely even if something did develop it would be flawed from the outset . It would always be founded on a lie - yours.
    It's terribly difficult to judge from here but it really does sound like your relationship with your boyfriend has run it's course. I don't sense guilt about the flirting for one thing and you have that grasss greener twitch which is understandable after a 2 1/2 year relationship when you have little experience. You need to make your mind up and be truthful to the guys and yourself. Best of luck .


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    #3
    curlzy
    Registered Users Posts: 1,708 ✭✭✭curlzy


    Sounds like you don't want to be with your boyfriend. TBH I wouldn't either, I cannot stand moaners or moody people. It's totally up to you if you want to finish it, it's totally fine to finish it with anyone if you want to, you don't need any reason at all. However, what is NOT fine, is to keep your boyfriend there hanging around while you look for a new relationship. That would make you a bit of a b*tch and I'm sure you don't want to be that. So yeah finish one relationship before you start investigating the next one. Going from what you've said, I'd finish with BF and then give it a little time and then ask out the new guy.


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    #4
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    confused_crush wrote: »
    He reminds me of the way my boyfriend was when we first met. Everything was just so nice and easy.

    There are 2 ways to look at this (1) the honeymoon period is over. Most relationships start off very nicely or they would never get off the ground. Maybe your boyfriend has settled into the relationship and is much more comfortable with you now and doesnt make as much effort? The reality is that this happens in 99% of relationships so while the new guy might look like mr perfect there is a chance the same thing will happen in 2.5 years with him too. relationships never stay the same as at the start so its either just real life settling in or (2) you just dont want to be with him anymore.


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