What time does your 3 month old go to bed?

Glowing

Hi all,

My little girl is almost 12 weeks now. She is not a great (or consistent) daytime napper but she has been sleeping through the night from about 7 weeks (which believe me, we are DELIGHTED about )

The only thing is she point blank refuses to go to bed any earlier than 11pm - but will sleep til 8 or 9. Is an 11pm bedtime normal? Will she start to bring it earlier herself or do we need to start doing this for her? She will generally be awake and breastfeeding constantly from 7pm until 11pm which means myself and hubby have no time together at all and have to tag team dinner

What do your 3/4 month olds do?

Cheers!

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

AK333

My daughter is 11 now but what I did, and I was breastfeeding, was feed her myself till about 8/9 and then top her up with a bottle (formula) especially for the last feed, and bring that forward earlier and earlier until she is going down about 7/8pm. Do you put her down in her own cot in her own room? I did once she slept through the night and it made it easier for us all, though my daughter woke between 6/7am but you would sell your right arm for a full nights sleep with a new baby! There is no hard and fast rule, every baby is different but I think having a good sleeping routine will stand to you. I know parents that walk around with their babies in their arms to get them to sleep, every night. OMG if I had had to do that I'd be in an asylum. Good luck

Ms2011

My little fella was going to bed at around 8:30 at 3 months. Started trying to get him in a sleeping routine at about 6 weeks, that bedtime was 9, he then brought it back to 8:30 himself & now at almost 8 months he goes to bed between 7:30-8pm

Glowing

Thanks guys for the replies.

At the moment she doesn't really nap past about 6 - we might get 30 or 45 mins out of her around then, but more often than not she won't. Regardless of whether she naps or not, she will always fall asleep at 11 (not before or after!)

I usually take her up to my darkened room at about 10.30 and breastfeed her. She will feed and feed and then just conk out at 11pm on the button - then I transfer her into her own cot asleep. I'm kinda worried now that she will just expect to be breastfed asleep every night though - am I introducing bad habits?

Roselm

Glowing wrote: »

Thanks guys for the replies.

At the moment she doesn't really nap past about 6 - we might get 30 or 45 mins out of her around then, but more often than not she won't. Regardless of whether she naps or not, she will always fall asleep at 11 (not before or after!)

I usually take her up to my darkened room at about 10.30 and breastfeed her. She will feed and feed and then just conk out at 11pm on the button - then I transfer her into her own cot asleep. I'm kinda worried now that she will just expect to be breastfed asleep every night though - am I introducing bad habits?

I dont have any children so feel free to ignore my suggestion!
Could you bring her whole day gradually back a couple of hours? So in the morning instead of waiting for her to wake,wake her up 20 mins early and then in the evening start breastfeeding 20mins earlier than usual.If you pulled it back 20 mins a week for 3 weeks youd have her in bed an hour earlier...Maybe somebodys tried this?

lazygal

At three months our lass had a 10pm bedtime. I tried to move it back but she had none of it. From about four months we started moving it back 15 minutes per week and at six months she now has a bedtime of 8pm, sleeps until 6.30am most days. We found giving a bottle of formula for the last feed worked for us really well, I am still BF but we tweaked her routine and the 7oz bottle does her until the first feed the next morning.

rubberdiddies

lazygal wrote: »

At three months our lass had a 10pm bedtime. I tried to move it back but she had none of it. From about four months we started moving it back 15 minutes per week and at six months she now has a bedtime of 8pm, sleeps until 6.30am most days. We found giving a bottle of formula for the last feed worked for us really well, I am still BF but we tweaked her routine and the 7oz bottle does her until the first feed the next morning.

I agree with this as its exactly what we did. Things will change week to week.

In relation to the OP wondering if you are introducing bad habits, I found with our two that it was very easy to break a habit particularly at that age.

AK333

Glowing wrote: »

Thanks guys for the replies.

At the moment she doesn't really nap past about 6 - we might get 30 or 45 mins out of her around then, but more often than not she won't. Regardless of whether she naps or not, she will always fall asleep at 11 (not before or after!)

I usually take her up to my darkened room at about 10.30 and breastfeed her. She will feed and feed and then just conk out at 11pm on the button - then I transfer her into her own cot asleep. I'm kinda worried now that she will just expect to be breastfed asleep every night though - am I introducing bad habits?

Personally, yes, you are introducing bad habits but like another poster said, you can change habits when babies are small and a new parent will do anything to calm a crying baby - that cry kills an adult inside. But, try introducing a formula feed, especially for the last feed as it will fill your daughter and also, frees you up so that if you had to be out and about, someone else could feed your baby and it takes the pressure off mummy!:)

lounakin

My baby was the same, she had a very late bedtime but she went down earlier and earlier, now at 6.5 she goes down between 7 and 8.
I don't think it has anything to do with habit, she did whatever she wanted, there was nothing I could do about it. I wasn't going to keep her awake later or wake her up earlier in the morning. That did not work. So she'd wake up at 10, sometimes 10.30!!!
I still have an issue with the last nap of the day, she sometimes gets really tired around 4 and only sleeps for 30 minutes but the odd time she simply won't go for a nap and then she gets to 6 knackered and we have to let her nap. She then doesn't sleep all night

Glowing

Right, we're going to start tonight by giving her a bottle of expressed milk at 10.30 and following her standard bedtime routine, minus the boobs

It will be really nice to be able to share the bedtime routine tbh - no problem giving her formula either when we need to, but I've a freezer full of expressed milk so may as well use it. But I agree that her expecting to fall asleep at the boob every night is probably not a good idea - I'd go insane without the odd night away tbh. I'm hesitant to mess with her routine too much timewise though as she has done so well with sleeping through etc .. but even to bring it forward an hour would make a huge difference.

Hubby is upstairs with the bottle of milk and the baby, I'll give you an update in 30 mins

Edit: She's asleep, yay! 11pm on the button. You could set your clock by her

How Strange

Glowing if you feel the feeding to sleep is a habit you'd rather not establish then break it. However I don't think there's any such thing as a 'bad' habit when it comes to babies especially if that habit involves love and closeness. It's only 'bad' if it's something you start to resent doing.

Also I breastfed for a year and I firmly believe you get a great sleeper if you're very very lucky or you get a normal baby who wakes a couple of times a night. Irrespective of whether they're fed formula or breast milk. Formula isn't the magic potion people would have you believe it is. It doesn't make babies sleep longer.

It's tough at the beginning because the world and it's mother has an opinion on what you're doing; one says it's right and another will say the complete opposite. My benchmark was (after being driven demented listening to countless opinions on every aspect of childcare) if I was happy doing it my way then it was right for us.

Glowing

How Strange wrote: »

Also I breastfed for a year and I firmly believe you get a great sleeper if you're very very lucky or you get a normal baby who wakes a couple of times a night. Irrespective of whether they're fed formula or breast milk. Formula isn't the magic potion people would have you believe it is. It doesn't make babies sleep longer.

Oh I completely agree with you. I have no problem with the way she is sleeping and I'm not trying to make her sleep longer, she's doing great as she is - I'm just wondering if she is going to continue going to bed at 11 forever, or if she will naturally bring that time earlier herself (tho she may wake up earlier to compensate, I'm okay with that too). Breastmilk is getting her to sleep 10 hours as it is, and I love feeding her so am not looking to change to formula (will happily use it as a backup though)

I am however finding it emotionally hard to be the only one who can put her to bed though especially after a long day at home with her, it's nice to be able to have the odd break in the evening and not wonder if she is screaming the house down for daddy Also nice for him to have that time with her to bond especially when he's at work all day.

3 months in and I'm starting to have a bit more confidence and know when to just carry on with what we're doing if it works for us - I thought all the 'helpful advice' was bad when I was pregnant, little did I know!!!

staticdoor71

My daughter is now and always has been a "feed to sleep" baby. She's been sleeping thru since around the three month mark.
Back then she had her last bottle around ten_ish was in bed by 11 and slept till around 8.
Now she's almost eight months... Rarely naps.. you would be lucky to get her to sleep an hour a day.. but she's now in bed by 8. I still feed her to sleep.. I enjoy the down time. And if needs be daddy can do it.. but I do enjoy our girly time. So if it works for you run with it.you learn very quickly is this mum game to go with what works.

With regard to bed times. My lil one seemed to just go to sleep earlier herself. When one bottle was dropped. Then wen they get more active they get tired earlier. It all seemed to Fall into place with her. I didn't enforce any routine at the start and just followed her lead.

What works for us may not work for others..

In short... Mammy and daddy time DOES return

liliq

My son used to go to sleep at around 10 or 11 at that stage too I think, though he didn't sleep through
I didn't interfere too much and he did bring his bed time forward himself gradually to around 730. It is later some nights but I find it easiest to follow his lead really. If he's not tired I don't bring him to bed as it just turns bed time into a saga.
He nurses to sleep as well and I was reluctant initially to continue that, but since around 6 months he nurses to sleep when I'm there, or falls asleep with cuddles from his daddy or nana when I'm not there so it became a non issue.

How Strange

Glowing yes gradually between both of you you'll being the time back to around 7/8pm. She'll get to a stage where she wants to sleep earlier. I'd say it's probably between 3-4 months when they start developing their own sleep routines.

rubberdiddies

As others have said your baby will fall asleep when they want to, however if you like you could try starting that last feed tonight at 10.15 and see how it goes

0ctober

Oh my god I could have wrote this thread myself! My daughter is pretty much the same, down between 10.30-12 and up around 6-7. She needs to be nursed to sleep too. I was wondering the same, would she gradually bring her bed time earlier. Any time we've put her down around 8 she would be up around 3 or 4 and won't go back asleep cos she thinks its morning! So that didn't work for us. Although when I look back she used to not go down til sometime between 12-2am so she has brought it back a bit earlier.
She won't take a bottle so that's not an option for us as an alternative to get her to sleep. Her naps in the day are irregular too, although she could sleep 30 mins or 5 hours during the day and then she would still sleep at night so its not too much of an issue for us.
Sorry not really sure what the point of my post is, just that I'm in the same position as you! Would love to have the evening myself every so often!

Glowing

Ha! That's gas October! At least my little one will take a bottle which makes things quite a bit easier. We had success with the Dr Browns bottles, have you tried those?

0ctober

Yup we've tried about 5 or 6 different ones and every different technique but no luck. If she wasn't such a good baby apart from that then I'd be tearing my hair out!

Xdancer

At 3 months my little girl was going to bed around 9pm. She is now nearly 1 and goes down between 7.30 and 8pm.