Family Trouble coming up to xmas

Chocmama

Hey guys
Ok so basically im dreading the run up to xmas ... im an only child and dont have any contact with my parents.
My fiance didnt know his dad all his life but has half brothers and sisters but has always been left out of family events. And when i got with him they didnt care too much about me either.
We built our house , we have no kids but this year im actually dreading xmas , i can feel the loneliness already .. is there anyone else in the same boat or am u just going mad ?
Any advice id greatly appreciate it , because i feel so down at the moment and i cant think of anything to solve it ... it will be only the 2 of us for xmas day and the dog, i was hoping to have our own child, but that didnt go accordingly.
And another thing why are some families so damn begrudging!?.. It seems like everyone turned on us when we built our home.. :-(

ABajaninCork

I know what you mean. But Christmas (as someone pointed out already!) can be anything you want!

Imagine:
No family politics
No presents (except for yourselves)
Only a small dinner to cook at your leisure
Eat and drink what you want. You can even have a few and not worry about driving...
Watch what you like on the telly
Sit in your jim jams all day if you want!

I had a Christmas like this a few years ago. I tell you, it was the best bloody Christmas ever!

OTOH. What about volunteering at the homeless shelter or going to visit the old folks on Christmas Day? They would be glad of the help, you have company and the thought you've made someone's Christmas that bit nicer.

The begrudgers can get stuffed. They'll probably have a miserable time anyway!

Happy Christmas!

Chocmama

Thats true tryin to be on the optimistic side of things ! ... families eh !?...

Thanks for the advice x !

CaraMay

That sounds like bliss - ye dont even have to get out of your pj's!!!! You can eat what you want, when you want and watch what you want...

Try not to think about what you dont have. Many people would love to have a home and nice fiance on Xmas day so you are both very luck. Hopefully you will have your own family very soon so just enjoy the peace while you can

Chocmama

It does actually pure bliss a day of relaxation and board games ! ...

I suppose one will get nowhere in life thinking of the things they dont have , and you opened my eyes there u are right i shud be grateful for the house and the fiance .. even though we have our differences at times but thats wat a healthy relationship is about im guessing !

Yea ill enjoy the peace and fingers crossed 2013 will be a good year !!

thanks :-)

tinkerbell

Until you've done it, you don't realise how nice it is to just spend Christmas at your home just the two of you and the dog As the others have said, watch what you like on tv, snuggle up on the couch together, stay in your PJs all day, have what you like for Christmas dinner (and only need to cook a small one) and just enjoy the day! No need to get down about it. Stock up on good movies to watch for the day and relax

Chocmama

Thats so true, i could do with a pj day!.... thank you all and i can feel the optimism which is a great boost :-)

boobar

Chocmama wrote: »

Hey guys
Ok so basically im dreading the run up to xmas ... im an only child and dont have any contact with my parents.
My fiance didnt know his dad all his life but has half brothers and sisters but has always been left out of family events. And when i got with him they didnt care too much about me either.
We built our house , we have no kids but this year im actually dreading xmas , i can feel the loneliness already .. is there anyone else in the same boat or am u just going mad ?
Any advice id greatly appreciate it , because i feel so down at the moment and i cant think of anything to solve it ... it will be only the 2 of us for xmas day and the dog, i was hoping to have our own child, but that didnt go accordingly.
And another thing why are some families so damn begrudging!?.. It seems like everyone turned on us when we built our home.. :-(

ChocMama, I think you've got it made for Xmas day.

It'll be the two of ye and no one else melting your head. Make it special for each other and let the begrudgers spend Xmas where they want and with who they want.

At this time of the year, we're bombarded with ads showing families coming together smiling, and giving each other nice gifts, all round niceness. But the truth is many family members are dreadful people, begrudging, sniping, negative.....you wouldn't seek out people like this to spend time with.

Get up Xmas morning, enjoy the day with your partner and take that dog for a nice long walk.

Happy Xmas.

rainbowtrout

I agree with everyone else Chocmamma, sounds like you could have a great Christmas.

A lot of families do have a great Christmas but plenty play out scenes that could rival the East Enders Christmas special.

I remember one child (I'm a teacher) telling me that his father used to pack them in the car and drive them to the airport for a large part of the day because airports would be the only places with bars open and serving alcohol on the 25th. A miserable way to spend Christmas in my opinion. It's not like you can't get alcohol and drink it at home.


Plan a day for just the two of you, you have free reign to do whatever you want. When you eventually have children you will be by and large planning Christmas around them, so this one with just the two of you in your new house could be special in its own way as you are unlikely to have many like it in the future.

Having said that, if you feel it would be quite a small celebration, you could invite over a friend or neighbour that might be on their own this Christmas and have no one to spend it with. They might appreciate the invite to spend time with their friends.