Lonely and utterly depressed

Anna27

Hi I'm 27 female and currently going through a bad patch. I'm trying so hard to qualify as an accountant but exams are getting on top of me and I'm failing so career and prospects on the slide

I find weekend torture from Thursday through to Sunday night I battle anxiety. The reason: I have nobody to hang out with. All my friends are busy, working have bf's so asking them to go out I feel like a beggar or am harassing them when they are clearly not interested or too busy. It's becoming lonely. I did in the past have a nice social life now everyone is moving on and I'm stuck in a rut. I have wonderful parents who I love but end up spending every weekend with. I live in a small town cliques and groups are formed years ago so near impossible to make new contacts. Plus town has v little activity/groups. I am unemployed so have no work contacts either.

I really am going out of my mind some days I'd love not to wake up the misery and loneliness is crippling me. I have no boy friend and no prospect of meeting one as I can't go to a bar/club on my own. On the rare occasion I do go out lots of men talk to me find me pretty but nothing ever materializes.

This is affecting my concentration hence poor exam results. I cannot seem to pass them and be able to find employment I desire ie accounting and tax. Am I destined to be indoors forever more lonely a la eleanor rigby or do ye guys think my mind is gone into overdrive with negativity and anxiety?


All this is affecting my concentration all I want to do is cry.

Strawberry Fields

Hi,

I am 31 and male and can empathise with most of what you say except I am doing solicitor exams. Other than that I could have nearly posted that myself, I don't have the answer if I did it would solve my own crisis but today I took the first step and booked into see a counsellor early next week. It's a special rate for people on welfare but I am hoping talking to someone will help.
All I can say is hang in there try and get those those exams, the light at the end of the tunnell will be a job you like, a few quid in your pocket and maybe with that bit more confidence you will be snapped up by a decent guy.

cantdecide

Anna27 wrote: »

...All my friends are busy, working have bf's so asking them to go out I feel like a beggar or am harassing them when they are clearly not interested or too busy.

You have to consider that your friends are blissfully unaware that this is becoming an overwhelming situation for you. The first thing you can do is confide in your friends that this a serious problem. I'll eat my hat if they don't react. If they care about you, making time for you is something they won't hesitate to do.

I feel your pain. We get to a point where it seems like an unreasonable amount of energy required to have a social life that we once took for granted but you really must invest. You will feel like you're banging your head against a brick wall but you don't know who might be out there waiting for you to walk into their life. Of course, you should make an effort to join clubs and try gyms and all the usual stuff because you really have no idea what will stick until you make the effort even if it means travelling to the next town or further.

Be nice to yourself, keep yourself distracted while keeping an eye on where you want to be headed and give yourself something to look forward to like a weekend break or to visit someone elsewhere.

NakedNNettles

Sounds like you're letting things get on top of you, you should really concentrate on your priority which in your situation right now are your exams not your social life.

Do you exercise? Exercise is key to sound mental health especially with the Winter upon us now.

Try to get a run in every morning, rail, hail or sunshine. It will motivate you, clear out the cobwebs and keep the dark thoughts away. If you are living in a country town you should have plenty of quiet roads to run.

Then get to work on passing those exams. Once they're out of the way you can look at the bigger picture which is probably moving out of your current situation, getting to a big city and give yourself better opportunities in life.

The reality is that there just aren't many social opportunities for a young single person in small town Ireland, but that shouldn't bother you right now, get those exams! Life is all about taking steps.

liquoriceall

NakedNNettles wrote: »

Sounds like you're letting things get on top of you, you should really concentrate on your priority which in your situation right now are your exams not your social life.

Do you exercise? Exercise is key to sound mental health especially with the Winter upon us now.

Try to get a run in every morning, rail, hail or sunshine. It will motivate you, clear out the cobwebs and keep the dark thoughts away. If you are living in a country town you should have plenty of quiet roads to run.

Then get to work on passing those exams. Once they're out of the way you can look at the bigger picture which is probably moving out of your current situation, getting to a big city and give yourself better opportunities in life.

The reality is that there just aren't many social opportunities for a young single person in small town Ireland, but that shouldn't bother you right now, get those exams! Life is all about taking steps.

Excellent suggestions & dont laugh but macra is nearly everywhere & its fantastic you could be out 7 nights a week with it. You dont have to know anyone just google it you will be surprised

skyfall2012

You are not in as bad shape as you might feel. Loving family, that is huge when you read some of the other posts, where they have no where to turn. On the road to a great career - by all accounts (excuse the pun), the accountancy exams are some of the hardest exams in the country, so you are probably not the only one struggling at these. The friends problem is a common one, when friends get boyfriend they become preoccupied, just remind them that their friendship is important to you and you would like to see them more often. Hope this helps:)

Anna27

Hi guys,
Thanks so much for taking the time to post back replies I really appreciate your advice and kind words. It's probably just a bad patch I'm going through with anxieties about the future and hopefully will pass in time. Just have to keep working on those exams and stay positive!

Thanks again for ye'r advice and input it meant a lot just shows there's some really caring and decent people out there

Anna x