Those annoying phishing phone calls - have you ever trolled the callers?

Demonique

Have you ever had fun with the callers?

Like wasting their time by leaving them hanging while you go do something else, made funny sounds down the phone, blown an air horn down the line at them, etc?




When the last one rang I asked him "would you please **** off" before hanging up on him


Since Eircom don't have the facility to block these phone calls trolling them might prove entertaining

chops018

Haven't done one in years but hope you enjoy this:

Me: Hello

AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T....

Me: Is this AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T....

Me: This is AT&T?

AT&T: Yes. This is AT&T....

Me: Is this AT&T?

AT&T: YES! This is AT&T. May I speak to Mr. Salem please?

Me: May I ask who is calling?

AT&T: This is AT&T.

Me: OK, hold on.

At this point, I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, she was still waiting.

Me: Hello?

AT&T: Is this Mr. Salem?

Me: May I ask who is calling please?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T....

Me: Is this AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T....

Me: This is AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, is this Mr. Salem?

Me: Yes, is this AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, sir.

Me: The phone company?

AT&T: Yes, sir.

Me: I thought you said this was AT&T.

AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company.

Me: I already have a phone.

AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Salem.

Me: Well, whatever it is, I'm really not interested, but thanks for calling.

When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can express yourself any plainer than by saying "I'm really not interested", but this lady was persistent.

AT&T: Mr. Salem, we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a minute, but she at no time used the word "rate". I could clearly see that it was time to whip out the trusty old calculator and do a little ciphering.

Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day? AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!

Me: 7 days a week?

AT&T: That's right.

Me: 365 days a year?

AT&T: Yes, sir.

Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!! That's amazing!! AT&T: We think so!

Me: That's quite a sum of money!

AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.

Me: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560? If you send an annual heck, can I get a

cash advance?

AT&T: Excuse me?

Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute.

AT&T: What are you talking about?

Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1,008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.

AT&T: Oh no, sir, I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.

Me: Wait a minute here! Didn't you say you'd give me 10 cents a minute? Are you sure this is AT&T?

AT&T: Well, yes, this is AT&T, sir, but....

Me: But nothing! How do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute that I'll give you 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of suliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know. Don't use your alien brainwashing techniques on me.

AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for....

Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please?!? AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.

Me: Sure! You say that now! What happens later? AT&T: What?

Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor! AT&T: Yes, Mr. Salem. Please hold.

So, now AT&T has me on hold, and my supper is getting cold. I begin to eat while I'm waiting for a supervisor. After a wait of a few minutes and while I have a mouth full of food.......

Supervisor: Mr. Salem?

Me: Yeth?

Supervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program.

Me: Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth? (Is this AT&T)

Supervisor: Yes, sir, it sure is.

I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter, and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.

Me: No, actually I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.

Supervisor: OK, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.

Me: Thank you.

I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I needed to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.

AT&T: Hello, Mr. Salem. I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan?

Me: Do you have that friends and family thing because you can never have enough friends and I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother.........

AT&T: (click)

fasttalkerchat

Littlewoods keep calling me looking for someone I don't know. Got the phone number a few weeks ago. I told them several times that they have the wrong number and I do not consent to them holding a record of my number etc etc. but they keep calling.
I don't want to tell them to **** off because its not the fault of the call centre staff that their system isn't up to date.
Having said that, I would welcome any suggestions... I was thinking about saying shes my sister and I'll settle her debt but I don't have a bank account and just have coins. Ask if they would be willing to pay delivery for my 1p collection.

hoodini89

Love wasting their time. Once an Indian man rang me saying there was something wrong with my PC and I needed anti-virus software. Kept him on the phone for 5 minutes convincing him I was interested then said 'nah, I'm not interested'. Cue him roaring down the phone at me, sounded like a very angry Apu

Cabaal

The PC Doctor guys are the best people to waste their time, keep them on the phone as long as you can...pretend you know ****e all about pc's.

The important thing to remember is while you are wasting their time, they can't be scamming some less tech savy person

sebastianlieken

Tell them that you're actually busy at the moment but if they leave you their mobile number you'll call them later on when you're free.

they'll decline, and you reply with the retorical question "what?, would it be unwelcome, annoying even to recieve a phone call from a complete stranger in your free time about telemarketing?!"

CJhaughey

I had an Indian guy ring me saying that he was from Microsoft, kept him on the phone for ages pretending to do as he said and having trouble finding keys etc. Then I said I have a Mac(I don't)
He sounded disgusted.

Lando Griffin

At my mothers house she kept getting calls almost every 2-3 weeks from the Computer virus scam mentioned above.
I played along with it then asked them how could a computer the the police intelligance network get a virus.
A prompt and swift hang up never to be heard again.

Valetta

Just tell them you don't have a rod and they'll leave you alone.

Rosy Posy

I keep a tin whistle by the phone for that very purpose...

fasttalkerchat

fasttalkerchat wrote: »

Littlewoods keep calling me looking for someone I don't know. Got the phone number a few weeks ago. I told them several times that they have the wrong number and I do not consent to them holding a record of my number etc etc. but they keep calling.
I don't want to tell them to **** off because its not the fault of the call centre staff that their system isn't up to date.
Having said that, I would welcome any suggestions...

An update on this. They're calling every day now so today I told them that she passed away 6 months ago (about the time they started calling me).
She expressed her apologies then went on to give me details of how to transfer the debt to a partner!

These people have no shame!

DeanAustin

Haha I worked as one of these callers in Sydney for SKY. It was to collect equipment and we had a dialler that rang the number for us. You had no idea who you were talking to until they picked up and you couldn't stop the system dialling.

Anyway the system kept ringing this fella with me on the end of the phone and he kept going mental as he'd given his equipment back. One day I rang and he'd had enough so I looked at my screen when he picked up but didn't recognise the name.

He nailed me good and proper by pretending he was a funeral home. "Why would I have SKY, I run a funeral home mate. People don't come here to be entertained." Eventually the penny dropped but he'd proper had my pants down by then. Always respected him for that.

wintersolstice

when my 85 yr old father answers the phone to one of these callers and they ask him how he is today,he gives them his full medical history and its a long one!:)

corktina

without fail if i get a call asking for the Bill Payer, I ask them to hold on, place the phone on the table and yell " Bill, phone for you"

others I use is to say" sorry I don't have a phone" and several of the ones above, especially the Apple Mac one

pogiefallon

i always give them the runaround its great craic usual first question is is mister x here then they give u a first name eg paddy then ask them paddy junior or senior and just keep going from there ive told one survey croud that there is 17 people in the family 5 doctors 6 solicitors and 6 accountants

Scruffles

am not able to use verbal communication such as phones,but have been involved in internet scam baiting for a long time and have baited many a pillock.

there was one scam that had been quite surreal.
online scammers all post the same copy and paste script and the object is to get them to talk off script and waste as much of their time as possible to stop ignorant people from getting caught up in their BS.
managed to get this one scammer off script who was pretending to be some twenty odd year old beautiful woman,got him onto the subject of homosexuality- will often find scammers who are seriously against it because of their religeon beliefs.
this one guy anyway,was dead against it but he explained why and we ended up having this convo about religeon,found it weird how he can dedicate himself to a part of religeon but completely ignore the commandment about stealing.
he kept trying to steer back on script but woud post questions which made him come off it.

eventualy he got pissed off,then our piss poor internet connection at home broke for a week as it regulary does,twas the last had saw of him.
he seemed highly educated,pity he had not thought of putting that to good use instead.

uch

You should first ask them where they're from, then tell them your Da is from Bangalore and ask them do they know the Singh's, this will confuse the fúck out of them, then it's up to you to see how long you can keep them going

solas111

No matter what they say, keep answering with: "WHAT - could you speak up please".

CollardGreens

I never get those calls, darn! Now y'all have given a lot of fun things to do

DEFTLEFTHAND

It's probably Frank Garrett, he says Fugg Yew! at the end of each call. Sometimes he adds yew stoopid cawksuker..

Skuxx

I got the Microsoft computer virus one a few times!
Started off she asked me to open up windows....my reply, of course, all of them, upstairs and downstairs??

Went on asking me to press CTRL key and somethin else...but I've two control keys, which should I press?
Press either ONE Sir... yes but I have TWO!

Went on for a while, eventually I said listen I have a Mac pc! She got quite upset and called me every name under the sun.....I may have gotten a bit racist!

The craic was had!