Fear of Posting on Forums

LegacyUser

This sounds ridiculous, especially since I am posting this on a public forum, but this is a serious query.

I have an irrational fear of posting on forums/Facebook/whatever. I tend to write up replies, topics and stuff like that, then reread them to make sure there's no spelling/grammar mistakes, and I always get anxious about posting things and end up just erasing everything.

I haven't a clue why I feel like this, even when I do get up the courage to post something, I end up feeling anxiety when I see someone has replied to it and sometimes I end up not replying to it at all to their reply.

I feel some anxiety as well sending people e-mails or texts, I have some fear that I'm wasting someone's time by contacting them with a question they're obliged to respond to.

I only feel slight anxiety posting this as I hope there'll be no responses like 'get over it'. Just wondering if there's anyone out there who feels the same or might have any thoughts on my problem.

LittleBook

nervousguy wrote: »

I only feel slight anxiety posting this as I hope there'll be no responses like 'get over it'.

It's a post, it's a start.

nervousguy wrote: »

I have an irrational fear of posting on forums/Facebook/whatever. I tend to write up replies, topics and stuff like that, then reread them to make sure there's no spelling/grammar mistakes, and I always get anxious about posting things and end up just erasing everything.

I haven't a clue why I feel like this, even when I do get up the courage to post something, I end up feeling anxiety when I see someone has replied to it and sometimes I end up not replying to it at all to their reply.

Posting on internet forums and in public places can be quite nerve-wracking for many people, even if a level of anonymity is involved. You're putting your thoughts, opinions and sometimes even feelings "out there" and there's always a risk that someone will ridicule you, disagree with you or simply tear your post apart for fun. And that's not even including the grammar nazi's.

The trick is (a) not to post anything to which a negative response might affect you personally and (b) not to take ANYthing too personally.

In spite of the fact that "everyone's doing it", posting in public is simply not for everyone. I dislike talking on the phone, always have and avoid it when possible. Maybe posting is the same for you.

I suspect that you maybe worry a little too much what others think about you which can be a bad thing if it becomes so restrictive that your fear becomes "irrational" but you need to think about the "why" yourself.

nervousguy wrote: »

I feel some anxiety as well sending people e-mails or texts, I have some fear that I'm wasting someone's time by contacting them with a question they're obliged to respond to.

I'd be a little more concerned about this, this is basic communication and you need to be able to ask people questions, whether a response is required or not. If you think you're wasting people's time in simply communicating with them, you may need to work on your self esteem.

Queen-Mise

Yeah I agree with the other poster above.

Your opinion, rants, thoughts, feelings, etc. on stuff is as valid as anyone else's on the internet. Pick and choose carefully where you post and what you comment on to build your confidence.

Maybe start with your own region - which should be a quiet part of boards - and write a few posts there. And on FB - start with liking a few posts (which you obviously like) - write a few happy birthday's or congratulations when people do something cool. Nice and slow there also.


And on a slightly whimsical note - be thankful you are not a keyboard warrior, making all types of claims and opinions hiding behind the keyboard that you would never say to a real person :rolleyes::rolleyes: It is no bad thing to be cautious of what you say online.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies, it's definitely made me look at the problem more positively. I think I do have some self-esteem and confidence issues I need to work on which is the root of the problem, making this thread was definitely a good start

djimi

I used to be like that once; now I have 25000+ posts across multiple forums! (I really need to get out more...)

If you really want to get more comfortable posting on forums then find one that is less formal (say like After Hours on here) and just jump in with both feet. Dont be shy; no one knows who you are and no one really remembers much of what you say 5 minutes after its posted anyway.

Just remember; its completely anonymous so you have nothing to fear!!!

Big Bag of Chips

After Hours might be a bit daunting for the more sensitive soul !

OP - as others mentioned, it does seems like "everyone's doing it" but in all honestly, the "everyone" who is doing it, is usually cluttering up their friends pages with rubbish.

I have a friend - and she posts everything - everything! What's she's had for breakfast what she's having for lunch. If she has a headache. If her kids are sick/at doctor. If she's busy - if she's not busy.

That becomes very tiresome, I can promise you! She posted a picture of her daughter in hospital the other night (nothing too serious, but still needed to get to hospital) The poor child was sitting there on a neubulizer looking wrecked - and her mam had her iphone out snapping the picture and posting it to Facebook.

And she's just one of many people who seem to live their lives 'online'.

When you are bombarded by so much 'stuff' it's kind of hard not to feel the peer-pressure to join in. But realise - you don't have to. If you read a post you like, and would like to 'thank' it or add your own voice, give it a go. Some people might disagree with what you say, you might disagree with what others say - but isn't that the beauty of the internet. You can post something to get opinions, and rather than having all your friends agreeing with you and telling you what they think you want to hear you can hear so many other perspectives from people you would never normally have access to.

I do also agree that you might need to do something about your self confidence. You have a right to communicate with people. You need to communicate with people - and I can 100% guarantee.. the people you send the text/email don't even think about it. They don't feel inconvenienced or under pressure to respond. If they have time they will, if they are doing something or don't see it, they will get back to you when they do - but they certainly will not think anything of it.

Well done on posting here about something so personal. I hope it helps you a little bit.

LittleBook

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

After Hours might be a bit daunting for the more sensitive soul !

This is a good point! If you want to start posting more and making an effort, it's best to avoid boards which can be ... er ... confrontational at times.

Better to find a board about a subject you know and enjoy and discussing/posting with like minded people first!

stephanied83

nervousguy wrote: »

This sounds ridiculous, especially since I am posting this on a public forum, but this is a serious query.

I have an irrational fear of posting on forums/Facebook/whatever. I tend to write up replies, topics and stuff like that, then reread them to make sure there's no spelling/grammar mistakes, and I always get anxious about posting things and end up just erasing everything.

I haven't a clue why I feel like this, even when I do get up the courage to post something, I end up feeling anxiety when I see someone has replied to it and sometimes I end up not replying to it at all to their reply.

I feel some anxiety as well sending people e-mails or texts, I have some fear that I'm wasting someone's time by contacting them with a question they're obliged to respond to.

I only feel slight anxiety posting this as I hope there'll be no responses like 'get over it'. Just wondering if there's anyone out there who feels the same or might have any thoughts on my problem.

Sounds to me like a classic case of social anxiety but just in a modern setting. I used to feel the same about having something to say in a group but you can't shut me these days. Just keep telling yourself, that what you have to say is as valid as what anyone else does and even if you say something uninteresting or a joke fails... who cares, the world won't end Challenge yourself to do more and eventually you will overcome your fears.