Son accused of cyber bullying

LegacyUser

Looking for some advice.
My 14yr old son came home from school today and told me that a girl in his class has accused him of bullying her on both Facebook and ask.fm. He told her it couldn't be him as he is on neither. He has asked her to show him the abusive posts that he is allegedly supposed to have posted but she says that she has deleted both accounts and so now can't show them. Plus she is refusing to tell him what exactly he is supposed to have said.

He is quite annoyed at this accusation as there has been so much talk around cyber bullying and he doesn't want to be associated with anything like this. He is also worried that people will hear this accusation and believe that he is capable of such behaviour.

What do you guys think I should advise him to do? I really don't know what I should tell him.

mariaalice

You need to deal with this immediately, go and see the other child's parents and in a nice way explain whats has happened then go to the career guidance councillor in your sons school and have a word with her/him. I would have a look at your sons computer and see what is going on as well, don't get too worked up about this but do deal with it now. It could be that you son is being bullied by this girl.

LegacyUser

Thanks for your advice, but just to clarify a few things.

My son doesn't have a FB account - he asked when he was 12 and I refused as I felt he was too young and immature to handle FB and since then he has lost interest as most of his friends have closed their accounts And before anyone mentions it, he doesn't have a phone with internet on it as he got his smartphone stolen at football earlier this year and as it was the 3rd time we refused to buy him another one! Also all checks that I have done have shown that he has no account in either FB or ask.fm (and yes it did mean checking his emails without him knowing) so I'm happy enough in that.

Also going to this girl's parent's is a bit of a no-no as they are not really the approachable types - tbh they scare me a little.

Is going to the school really the only option left? As I'm sure they could say it doesn't happen while at school?? Don't know, I'm just guessing?

mariaalice

I have just though of this maybe someone is pretending to be you son and messing around with this girl.

Moonbeam

Personally, I would go talk to the school immediately.
Deal with it head on immediately so he does not end up being the bullied child.

LegacyUser

Thanks guys ... I have decided to speak with the school counsellor and have an appt set up for this afternoon. Hopefully we'll get to the bottom of this and its all a big misunderstanding.

up for anything

How did your talk with the school counsellor go?

LegacyUser

Well I met with the school counsellor on Friday afternoon and she informed me that although it was something that happened outside of school hours, it is a subject that they take very seriously, and as such they would look into it. Didn't think I would hear anymore about it but she rang today and requested a meeting with both me and my husband this evening after school.

As it turned out, she had indeed looked into the whole situation and discovered what was going on. To cut a long story short .. the accusations made against my son were indeed false (major relief for both him and me!). The girl in question apparantly had a bit of a thing for my son but he didn't feel the same and when he started to hang around with another girl, she got jealous and decided that if she painted him in a bad light then this other girl would loose interest in him. If the accusations she made against him weren't so serious, the story would actually be quite funny .....

Anyway, the school has decided that she must publicly apologise to him tomorrow at morning assembly so that the other students will also know the truth (some of the students that chose to believe the girl had posted some nasty stuff about him online over the weekend and had also put up some nasty posters around the school about him).

We are just thankful that it has all been sorted out. Thanks for the advice guys!

CrowWoman

Whattodoright, what a terrible story! You did right to react right away to get the situation sorted out.

Glad the truth came out publicly.

Moonbeam

SO good to hear a story about a school dealing with the issue so quick and well.

tracey1098

What a terrible story, glad it turned out ok for you. Some kids can be awful cruel!

happywithlife

Just reading this now for the first time. Major relief I'm sure for you and your son. This girl will learn a harsh (but well deserved) lesson. Make sure you congratulate your son for confiding in you. That took guts for him to do I'm sure

silentrust

Just stumbled across this as I've been trying to learn more about this ask.fm site, so pleased to see that everything turned out for the best. Let this be a lesson to us all that there is such a thing as the innocent accused as well as an innocent victim.