Will he always make it easy?

@rti-shm@rti

I know it's very hard to generalize and probably not fair either but usually if a fella likes you he'll make it easy for you; correct? I've been with a guy a good few times now. He seems to be giving off mixed signals for the most part - a fair bit of contact ringing and texting (we're in different towns) but when we have cause to be in the same place he seems to avoid me. Apart from feeling like I've reverted to being 16 years old with the contact/ignoring I'm correct in thinking this is one of these 'just not into you' situations correct?

DeltaWhite

In general: I would be inclined to think if he is making it hard for you, then he is just not into you.

But sometimes there could be reasons, nobody knows for sure! But in your personal situation, I would either just (a) ask him outstraight for an honest answer (b) cut contact and find someone who is going to treat you with decency or (c) keep going as you are

You really are best off just asking! You will know if he comes back with an excuse or cagey answer then you should move on!

Best of luck OP and remember you dont have to put up with treatment like that! Nobody deserves it.

Merkin

@rti-shm@rti wrote: »

He seems to be giving off mixed signals for the most part - a fair bit of contact ringing and texting (we're in different towns) but when we have cause to be in the same place he seems to avoid me

:eek:

Mixed signals are not good. Also, actions speak louder than words. It doesn't matter what he says on the phone or how often he texts you, if he was keen and interested in seeing you then he would be anxious to see you at every opportunity. The fact that he is behaving as stated above suggests that either:

a. He is an attention wh0re and loves the fact he has someone on the other end of the phone to talk to and stroke his ego but doesn't actually want to take it any further

b. He is already involved. Being in touch by phone is fine but you being on his "turf" and wanting to meet there is too risky

Too many red flags - I wouldn't bother with him.

CaraMay

Is he attached?

daisybelle2008

OP ask yourself if this is good enough for you and of this is what you want from a relationship? If the answer is no then move on.
I have never seen the logic of asking some one who is behaving in a wishy washy way towards you where you stand. You can figure that out for yourself and rely on the answer 100% it is your gut instinct.

@rti-shm@rti

daisybelle2008 wrote: »

OP ask yourself if this is good enough for you and of this is what you want from a relationship? If the answer is no then move on.
I have never seen the logic of asking some one who is behaving in a wishy washy way towards you where you stand. You can figure that out for yourself and rely on the answer 100% it is your gut instinct.

I agree with this I suppose. I guess I'm on here as a last resort looking for someone to give me the go ahead to behave like an eejit for a bit longer or to make excuses for him. I'm a horrendously useless when it comes to lads and can give off completely the wrong signals but having said that any of my relationships in the past have kick started because the lad didn't give up/put in the effort and I felt confident in it from the start. This behavior at the moment makes me feel completely unwanted/not confident because on one hand we're in contact a lot and then on the other hand when it comes down to us actually meeting up - he avoids it.

To answer an earlier question - he wasn't when it first started off (5 months ago!!! God) but may well be now. I would never ask him one way or the other.

I think I'm answering my own question here as I'm writing this out. It sounds ridiculous to me even.

We're not in a relationship or anything - it's just something that's mutated over the last few months

daisybelle2008

@rti-shm@rti wrote: »

I agree with this I suppose. I guess I'm on here as a last resort looking for someone to give me the go ahead to behave like an eejit for a bit longer or to make excuses for him. I'm a horrendously useless when it comes to lads and can give off completely the wrong signals but having said that any of my relationships in the past have kick started because the lad didn't give up/put in the effort and I felt confident in it from the start. This behavior at the moment makes me feel completely unwanted/not confident because on one hand we're in contact a lot and then on the other hand when it comes down to us actually meeting up - he avoids it.

To answer an earlier question - he wasn't when it first started off (5 months ago!!! God) but may well be now. I would never ask him one way or the other.

I think I'm answering my own question here as I'm writing this out. It sounds ridiculous to me even.

We're not in a relationship or anything - it's just something that's mutated over the last few months

OP don't settle for anything that doesn't feel good.

CaraMay

He is not making you happy so move on and you will find someone who will.

Merkin

daisybelle2008 wrote: »

OP don't settle for anything that doesn't feel good.

100% agree with this. And I think normally if you're second guessing or wondering then it's normally not a good sign....dating should be fun, exciting and make you feel great, not full of nerves and anxiety.