The Longest of Long Distances

LegacyUser

Hi guys,

I am in a pickle. And I really need some help.

I work in Dublin, as part of a multinational, whose HQ is in California. Through work, I have met a wonderful guy, based out of that office. I am 27, and he is 34. I met him for the first time last year, when he came to visit the office, and we kept in touch as friends through FB, and chat, as we had lots of similar interests. I then visited the California office 6 months later on business, and we met again, and this time, the sparks were there - nothing happened, but we spent a lot of our free time together.

Since that visit, which was summer this year, we have talked every day over chat, late calls, texts, messages, post, letters... and fell a lot for each other. Since nothing yet had actually physically happened in person yet, we wanted to see if all of this chemistry translated to real life. So... he came over for that purpose for 4 days last week, and it was amazing. Getting to know each other so well virtually helped a lot as a foundation.

We both are in agreement that we are falling in love. We are also in agreement that flying back and forth is not sustainable, as average Dub>Cali flights are about 700euro, takes a whole day... and we have limited vacation time. The time difference becomes frustrating (I am 8 hours ahead), so essentially, when I am getting up, he is going to bed - although I get to talk to him from 4pm to when I go to bed, which is what we normally do.

Its not something that we have told our colleagues, but with myself already planning another California trip in January, it may soon start to become obvious. We don't have any reason to hide it, and people would be be very supportive.

But - where on earth could this go? I have investigated internal transfer to California, but its not something that is really done, or is easy. Not impossible, but very difficult and not something that could happen soon. Same for him coming here, with the company. Leaving the company makes no difference, as we would need work sponsorship to move to the other country, and those are so difficult to get - bordering on impossible.

He feels right. I feel nothing but pure happiness when I am with him - which I know (having had an LDR in London before) can be misleading because you don't get a lot of face time together, and that happiness can be almost deceiving. But... one life, and I really feel it.

Please help me to start to figure this out?

Thank you!

curlzy

Just keep plodding along, visit and put in for the transfers if the visits, phonecalls etc keep making you think he's the one. You don't have to figure it all out now, just let it evolve. Love, after all, is worth waiting and time and effort if it's the real thing. Also California is amazing and a brilliant place to live : )

Sauve

The feelings you have for this man come across so clearly in your post
The only advice I can give is to have a good hard think about the downsides of one of you moving. Right now when you see each other, its like a holiday. Its new and exciting.
Would you/he still feel the same in a strange country without your old lifestyle, family and friends around you?
If the answer is yes, then go for it. Life is short and it may be something ye regret not trying.
Would it be possible for one of ye to take a 2-3 month career break and visit first for that long without making the huge jump all in one go?