very shy when it comes to women

mengele

im 21 and very shy when it comes to women. I have literally no confidence when appraoching them out. Its normally that they would come to me. In a nightclub I often watch these lads going around dancing with one girl and moving on to another girl after he gets no where with the first one and eventually finds one. I would die instead of doing this but i suppose thats down to the fear of getting rejected especially in front of my own friends. I can also find it awkward enough to talk to girls on my own. Just cannot think of stuff to talk about compared to being with the lads or there girlfriends. I could talk grand to girls that i would know out as I would have stuff in common with them or would just know them but I would get very shy with a strange girl. btw i am good enough looking so it cant be that im an ugly tub of shhiit

jaffacakesyum

I don't know if other girls would agree with this, but I wouldn't think too much about them being "a girl" if that makes sense :P Think of them as a regular person like you or any of your male friends or girls you know already. You said yourself you have no problem talking to women you already know? So try not to stress yourself out about it. Women aren't some mystical creature that you need to speak a separate language too. Don't put women on a pedestal. You are a good looking lad and if you're a decent guy (i.e. not a pr1ck) than why wouldn't they want to talk to you? In many ways, they are just like you! Talk to them about their interests, what they got up to at the weekend/what their plans are for their weekend, how they're enjoying their night (if you meet in a pub/club), what they do for a living or are they in college etc.

The important bit is just to relax, smile, be friendly, be yourself and don't be sleazy :pac: Also, I know it's hard, but try not to let it get to you if you get rejected. Some women will be rude so they're not worth the time. Others will just not be interested, and that's ok too. If we were all equally attracted to each other the world would be a crazy place!

Best of luck!

C__MC

I feel the same on night out. I am told by people I am good looking and have a great personality but on a night out I have find hard to approach a women on the dancefloor or wherever it may be. I lack confidence around them. Any tips/ideas?

tiny timy

I think you may be simply just afraid of rejection.but dont be. Just simply go up to these girls and start chatting.ask the simple questions first and go from there.you may even find that 9/10 women will simply keep the conversation going for you.you'll see your confidence strengthen as you relax. Hell, if yoh want ill go for pints with you and help you out. Simply, just keep relaxed and keep the conversation simple and upbeat

LegacyUser

I think jaffacakesyum was spot on!

Like she says, don't make it a good deal. Just think to yourself you are going there to do some small talk, and quite possibly 70% of the time they will decline, because that's how it goes. It's not a reflection on you.

Most of the time we say "no" to a guy's approach for a thousand of reasons that don't necessarily have much to do with the guy himself - still in love with our ex, feeling too fat/ugly, being shy, etc.

Some girls like that alpha male cocky approach. I personally despise it. But I guess that will depend on your "target audience", so to say. If a guy approaches me in a friendly but slightly awkward way, I always think it's cute, cos it's natural - it *is* awkward having to do the first move! As if I guy arrives with the attitude of "you are so lucky I'm talking to you", definitely will turn him down.

But then again I have friends who loooove the "How you doin'?" cocky approach. So really there's a lot of aspects of the game you can't control at all. So don't mind too much if you get a couple of "no"s, just keep trying, be relaxed and smile