Is he just not into me?

moongal

Hey guys, been dating a guy it's been going well-ish. I met him online and before we started dating it was email everyday all that stuff. But since we started it's gone to only texting to arrange dates, no "hey how are you" messages. Also on lastnights date he seemed kinda off or something, I duno maybe I being crazy. It's just kissing we've been doing in that regard. But when a guy likes you doesn't he want to just chat with you, I don't mean all the time that stuff annoys me too, but a casual message the odd day to show that he wants to hear from you wouldn't go astray. I don't want to hang around for crap and it's really off putting for me so is this just a case of he's just not that into me?

RossFixxxed

Do you send messages asking how he is? Do you make any of the contact you feel is missing? Have you both just gotten into a routine of not sending messages? Is he busy working all day? I have no idea what the story is as there isn't much on details.

He could be thinking the same thing as you in this regard.

P. Breathnach

It looks to me that things might be fizzling out.

Is there a possibility that the poor communication is caused by something else, such as his being under work pressure?

moongal

Well it is his Dad's anniversary this week and I know that's taking it's toll on him. And he did say "or you could send me a text"...I think I got so stuck in my ways of being the guy does the chasing that I'm afraid that if they sniff a hint of neediness then they're off. I do think there really could be something here, but I'm extremely guarded am I'm being an idiot maybe I should put myself out there abit more for him?

P. Breathnach

It may well be that he needs you to be a bit more positive. There is no harm in sending him the odd text. If you think he is a bit down because of his Dad's anniversary, then perhaps you should try to be a bit supportive in tone - a message such as "I hope you're feeling okay" might do him some good.

moongal

I guess you are right, I try to act all tough when dating and that crap but really I'm one of the most sensitive people you will ever meet. And as we're only dating I hate to be too invasive but I do like this guy, well what I know of him, a lot...I want to give this a shot but I've brain that runs on overdrive.

sffc

I'm separated now and back on the dating scene after 13 years away ! The biggest change ? Text- no question . Its such a good medium for those little whispers to each other during the day - or it should be .
His dad's anniversary is a great oppurtunity for you to show you care . Even a supportive text on the day along the lines suggested or maybe a bit more elaborate would go a long way . Sometimes OP you have to go out of your way a little for someone - a few texts wont hurt . Then you can see how things are going and make a judgement . Best of luck !

R.D. aka MR.D

moongal wrote: »

I guess you are right, I try to act all tough when dating and that crap but really I'm one of the most sensitive people you will ever meet. And as we're only dating I hate to be too invasive but I do like this guy, well what I know of him, a lot...I want to give this a shot but I've brain that runs on overdrive.

I used to be exactly like this up until i met my current boyfriend. I just stopped putting on an act or trying to play it cool in any way. I put myself 100% out there and if he rejected then he was rejecting the real me.

It was really scary but really liberating! I'm lucky and it worked out for the best.

Taking a small step of texting him first isn't that huge. Do it!

moongal

Hey, thanks for the responses. I will text and if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. I won't fall apart. I would love if it did work though....dam stupid boys wrecking my head.

beks101

moongal wrote: »

I guess you are right, I try to act all tough when dating and that crap but really I'm one of the most sensitive people you will ever meet.

I'd say the tough exterior might have something to do with it.

Yes, if a guy likes you he should make the effort but guys also need encouragement, reassurance that it's not a waste of his time and that you also like him.

Drop him a text saying hello and asking how he is.

moongal

Hey I did drop him a text, everything seems fine. I don't think he's much of a texter anyway I guess I have to calm down and get to know him and stop this worrying. Thank you for your messages.

curlzy

moongal wrote: »

I guess you are right, I try to act all tough when dating and that crap but really I'm one of the most sensitive people you will ever meet. And as we're only dating I hate to be too invasive but I do like this guy, well what I know of him, a lot...I want to give this a shot but I've brain that runs on overdrive.

Stop this immediately! By playing these games and acting differently you won't ever get a guy that suits you because you're not being yourself, if you get me? I pursued my guy and I got him : ) If a guy has any sense he's not going to be all "wtf? A GIRL pursuing me and knowing what she wants?!?!?", he certainly wouldn't be a guy worth getting, if he is. So yeah, I saw my guy, thought "yummy!", pursued him and won his heart. We got engaged in March and we couldn't be happier This is 2012 OP, it's ok to know what you want and go for it!

Stavro Mueller

Look at it from his perspective. You're still in the early days of seeing each other so he's probably still sizing things up and wondering how interested you are. You've probably been too stand-offish for your own good. He's putting himself out there too, you know. And if he thinks you're not keen or you're playing the games you're at, it might make him put his guard up. Sending a few texts never hurt anyone you know. It's only if you're bombarding someone or they're not keen on you that it's a problem. You're dating him so lighten up.