Stressed 30 something needs help with meditation or similar!

Nicman

Hi,
I've had quite a bit of stress this year which seems to keep building (possibly even on stress from a few years back which I've buried among the cobwebs up there somewhere!) and I get less and less able to deal with new stresses - even small ones as I don't seem to have dealt with the previous ones adequately.
Unfortunately my schedule at the minute means I don't have much time - which I know I know - doesn't help, but I need help with winding down and de-stressing on the few down times that I have available. I've been thinking the last few days of meditation possibly or similar... or any other suggestion which any of you may have - I'm very open minded. I know Yoga would be beneficial to me but right now I really can't fit in an actual class even though I'd love to
Please help...I feel if I go on like this I'm going to burn out or get sick!
....Thanks

WilliamMelmoth

Exercise keeps me sane and I work out intensly 4 times a week for an hour at a time.
No quick fixes im afraid, sounds like you could do with this story:

A professor stood before his philosophy class with some items in front of him. When the class began, he picked up a very large and empty glass jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous yes. The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. "Now"said the professor "I want you to recognise that this jar represents your life. The golf balls represent the important things; your family, your health, your children, your friends, your passions, the kind of stuff that if all else was lost and only these remained, your life would still be full. “The pebbles are the other things that matter, like your job, your house, your car. “The sand is everything else, the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first, there will be no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. Then
You know, the same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small things, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the elements that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Set aside time for your medical check-ups. Help out at a charitable institution. Take your spouse out to dinner. Dont worry. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the hinge on that cupboard door. Take care of the golf balls first; the rest is just sand. "

"What does the beer represent" called a student.

Well said the professor : "No matter how busy life is, you can always fit in a beer with a friend."

Eiriu

the answer is inside you. meditate to connect with yourself.

All pain will disapear.

Etc

WilliamMelmoth wrote: »

Exercise keeps me sane and I work out intensly 4 times a week for an hour at a time.
No quick fixes im afraid, sounds like you could do with this story:

A professor stood before his philosophy class with some items in front of him. When the class began, he picked up a very large and empty glass jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous yes. The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. "Now"said the professor "I want you to recognise that this jar represents your life. The golf balls represent the important things; your family, your health, your children, your friends, your passions, the kind of stuff that if all else was lost and only these remained, your life would still be full. “The pebbles are the other things that matter, like your job, your house, your car. “The sand is everything else, the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first, there will be no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. Then
You know, the same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small things, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the elements that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Set aside time for your medical check-ups. Help out at a charitable institution. Take your spouse out to dinner. Dont worry. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the hinge on that cupboard door. Take care of the golf balls first; the rest is just sand. "

"What does the beer represent" called a student.

Well said the professor : "No matter how busy life is, you can always fit in a beer with a friend."

An oldie but a goodie and very true.

Nicman

...was hoping for advice on how best to deal with stress rather than advice on how to rearrange my life but thanks anyway

lukesmom

Nicman wrote: »

...was hoping for advice on how best to deal with stress rather than advice on how to rearrange my life but thanks anyway]

If you continue on as you are you will burn out and it could cause a lot of upheaval for you so I think you should practise just bring present and clearing your mind. This is a huge benefit to me. The book 'the power of now' was a great help to me, it taught me to declutter my mind. It's something I tap into when I am very stressed.

angelman121

Hi Nicman.
There is no quick fix, "un-stressing" it's just like your job the more time and effort you put in the more you get out, that said there are a couple of meditations on my website you could try, you could put the short one on your ph, also if you don't already know about your chakra points make it your biznis learn about them and get yourself some clear quartz crystals points and use them on yourself at least once a week for half hour or so.
I can't get direct link to meditation page, there's one on the home page.
http://www.paulwilliams.ie
P

ElleEm

I would start with things as simple as deep breathing. I often take a few mins (even on the train/ bus) and just close my eyes and only focus on my breath. Try to clear your mind as you do it. I use a technique I learnt from a book on meditation where I imagine a really calm lake. Any time I have a thought pop into my head, I see a ripple in the lake. I then focus all my energy in calming the ripple in the lake. That's how I started clearing my mind.

I also use aromatherapy. Lavender really calms me so I will often burn oil or light candles.

When I have a shower at the end of the day, I often do it by candle light as it just creates a lovely calm vibe.

Have you a smart phone? I downloaded a few apps with relaxing music and guided meditations I often listen to in bed.

These are things that work for me, and really don't take much time to integrate into my life.

steve_r

I've never posted in this forum before but I'll chip in and maybe I can help.

first off, we don't know your schedule, maybe you word long hours, have to look after kids, other issues etc.

Obviously don't post the info if you don't want to but maybe that would help.

It really depends on how much time you have.
Gym opening hours and yoga classes etc may not suit your schedule. Sometimes I'm in that boat so I get up earlier to make some time but that might not owrk for you.

Maybe something as simple as going for a walk before going to sleep may help. I think exercise is a good call, but take a look at the other options as well.

Nicman

lukesmom wrote: »

If you continue on as you are you will burn out and it could cause a lot of upheaval for you so I think you should practise just bring present and clearing your mind. This is a huge benefit to me. The book 'the power of now' was a great help to me, it taught me to declutter my mind. It's something I tap into when I am very stressed.

I agree, feel the burnout coming. I have read the power of now a few years back and found it amazing, recommend it still to friends and family. I do find it difficult though to practice it when not reading the book and unfortunately I can't read it right now as I have a number of books I have to read for a course. Maybe I'll pick it up agian over Christmas! Thanks

Nicman

angelman121 wrote: »

Hi Nicman.
There is no quick fix, "un-stressing" it's just like your job the more time and effort you put in the more you get out, that said there are a couple of meditations on my website you could try, you could put the short one on your ph, also if you don't already know about your chakra points make it your biznis learn about them and get yourself some clear quartz crystals points and use them on yourself at least once a week for half hour or so.
I can't get direct link to meditation page, there's one on the home page.
http://www.paulwilliams.ie
P

Thanks Paul I will definitely download your meditations and will find out more info on my chakra points. Thanks so much for the advice - I wanted to try some medititation but didn't know where to start!

Nicman

ElleEm wrote: »

I would start with things as simple as deep breathing. I often take a few mins (even on the train/ bus) and just close my eyes and only focus on my breath. Try to clear your mind as you do it. I use a technique I learnt from a book on meditation where I imagine a really calm lake. Any time I have a thought pop into my head, I see a ripple in the lake. I then focus all my energy in calming the ripple in the lake. That's how I started clearing my mind.

I also use aromatherapy. Lavender really calms me so I will often burn oil or light candles.

When I have a shower at the end of the day, I often do it by candle light as it just creates a lovely calm vibe.

Have you a smart phone? I downloaded a few apps with relaxing music and guided meditations I often listen to in bed.

These are things that work for me, and really don't take much time to integrate into my life.

Fabulous advice for someone who is a novice to meditation! Thanks. And they're all things I can do in everyday life that won't involve too much extra time. I will have a look for apps or as Paul suggested download some meditation on my ipod.
Thanks for this, it seems so obvious but when you're overcome with stress it's hard to imagine how to destress. Thank you

Nicman

steve_r wrote: »

I've never posted in this forum before but I'll chip in and maybe I can help.

first off, we don't know your schedule, maybe you word long hours, have to look after kids, other issues etc.

Obviously don't post the info if you don't want to but maybe that would help.

It really depends on how much time you have.
Gym opening hours and yoga classes etc may not suit your schedule. Sometimes I'm in that boat so I get up earlier to make some time but that might not owrk for you.

Maybe something as simple as going for a walk before going to sleep may help. I think exercise is a good call, but take a look at the other options as well.

Hi Steve, I agree with the need for exercise. Im working full time and in college part time 93 evenings a week) and studying the rest of that time. On top of that I've had some other very stressful and badly timed situations in my life for the last 6 months or so and it seems to keep building. I'm usually very good at dealing with stress but I think my lack of free time means I've neglected that. Find it very hard to fit exercise in at the minute as I'm usually burnt out the evenings Im not in college but I do go for a walk afterwards at night which I find good but it seems to not be enough for me. Thanks for that, will consciously try to get more exercise in - even if just a little!

josealdo

stress+ intense exercise = destressed person .

i found that running destressed me , where as walking would give me a good feeling , when i was really sressed , i.e 2 hours sleep a night , i found compound exercises ( exercise that use your whole body) deadlifts , squats , bench presses , worked a treat . when going heavy your mind has to focus 100% on the weight and moving it correctly so therefore your mind no longer is thinking about whatevers stressing you .

also meditation provided me with a break in the " washing machine head" ideally 30 minutes moring and 30 mnutes evenings every day .

also diet . eat healthy and drink lots of water . your pee should always be clear .

Hope this helps , I KNOW IT HELPED ME .

Cheers

Brian

WilliamMelmoth

Nicman wrote: »

Hi Steve, I agree with the need for exercise. Im working full time and in college part time 93 evenings a week) and studying the rest of that time. On top of that I've had some other very stressful and badly timed situations in my life for the last 6 months or so and it seems to keep building. I'm usually very good at dealing with stress but I think my lack of free time means I've neglected that. Find it very hard to fit exercise in at the minute as I'm usually burnt out the evenings Im not in college but I do go for a walk afterwards at night which I find good but it seems to not be enough for me. Thanks for that, will consciously try to get more exercise in - even if just a little!

It can be very difficult to make separate time for exercise when you have a busy schedule. I remember some years ago when completing my MSc I had little free time for anything extra curricular. One of the things I done was to fit my exercise in with my hectic schedule by killing 2 birds with the one stone. I decided to exercise on my way to college either by jogging there or cycling there. That allowed me to exercise twice a day without impeding on my academic productivity.
Exercise is a priority in m life as it enables me to function at my best, it should not really be seen as doing something outside of your routine but something that supplements it.