substitute work

wishinonastar

Hey everyone. I am 30 years old and have been working as a sub teacher for the last 5 years. I have been extremley fortunate to have gotten consistent work over those years. Most years at some point the school even gave me my own hours and I had a full year of mat leave last yr. This year so far, while it has been busy it hasn't been as busy as others and I can feel myself starting to get very down over it. I know the nature of the job is what is and i have had quiet spells before but at the moment i am feeling very low about it. I get up and get dressed for school every day and on the days when i dont get work i make sure to try and do something positive with my day-spend time with family,clean my house or other things. The thing is when my alarm goes in the mornings i dont want to get up-and i dont mean this in a lazy way i mean it in a way that i just cant face another day of waiting to get the call (i have an upset tummy for half an hour each morning as i wonder what the day will bring) to say im working or realising that once 9 comes and I have no call that I am once again unemployed. I know its wrong but i dont know who i am when im not teaching. I dont know what my purpose is meant to be. (I know that sounds heavy and maybe a tad dramatic) but i see my identity as a teacher and without it i feel aimless.

I have worked since i was 15, worked through school and through college and so 'not working' even though its not my fault doesnt sit well with me. The positives to this are that i have an amazing partner of 12 years who has a very good and stable job. He has reassured me that from a financial point of view we are fine and i have nothing to worry about. He's view is that i am not out of work by choice and that i should enjoy days off when they come. I try but carry around a huge amount of guilt. For example I could never decide on a day off that I would head off and go shopping for the day. I have the 'work for a treat'mentality. At midterm i almost decided not to go away with himself for a few days because i didnt think i deserved it . (I actually ended up working more last term then i wasnt working so i can see now that this was silly). I make sure that when it comes to shopping for groceries, washing and ironing clothes, cleaning the house etc that I do it because i feel i need to be doing something to ease the guilt of not working.

I know people will tell me to look elsewhere in other schools but I feel and have been advised that i am better to stay put where i am gaurented some work. Im just going through a hard time now.

I would love to hear from others in similer position.

chippers

wishinonastar wrote: »

I know people will tell me to look elsewhere in other schools but I feel and have been advised that i am better to stay put where i am gaurented some work. Im just going through a hard time now.

But this is the contradiction. The problem you are facing now is because you are now not guaranteed work from the school. But I understand that you want to stick with it in case something comes up.

It sounds like when you are not working you have a void in your life. This is only natural. Try and fill it with something where you can be productive - take up an evening course / get involved in coaching a team. You can work on these mini projects when you have a day / days off.

Another idea while you are waiting might be to turn to fitness. I see a lot of people do this when they get laid off and need to fill their time. It'll help you feel good about yourself and increase your mental strength.

wishinonastar

thanks chippers! good ideas. During a quiet spell 3 years ago, i took up fitness and lost 4 stone so i understand that some good comes from these times.

fairy1

Hi wishinonastar,

I am more or less in the same position as you at the moment and have been for the last three years so I can completely relate to what you are going though.

There is nothing more frustrating than waking up each morning wondering and hoping for some work to come in. I also have work coming in from one main school and they have been very good to me over the years but unfortunately they cannot always guarantee work.

I am lucky enough to have gained a maternity post this year so there is such a sense of relief knowing that I am guaranteed work until the end of May!

However previously I used to rely on daily phone calls to see me through each day. It was so disheartening when the phone didn't ring and I felt as though I couldn't plan anything just in case a call would come through because often it came later than 9:00!

I gained a sick leave position on a subbing basis and was told to keep coming in for the allotted timetable unless otherwise told and this was fantastic at the time.....I worked solid (9 hours a week) for 5 months and I felt I could progress with the classes and almost felt like I was their proper teacher. Then out of the blue the teacher returned and I was told I was no longer needed! I know it sounds silly but I was gutted. I felt like I was disposable and only wanted when it was convenient. I know that was the reality of things but it really left me feeling quite down. In fairness to the school they gave me as much other subbing hours that they could but it just wasnt the same as having continuous classes with the same groups.

So just realise that you are not on your own. You are doing the best that you can and you have so much that you should be thankful for - your supportive husband and the ability to not have to rely on your income alone to survive and pay the bills :-) You just have to try your best and maybe apply for any jobs that come up in the local area. A few of my best friends from college didn't even get so much as subbing work and have resorted to working in Supervalu etc. When I speak to them I appreciate that I am lucky to have the bit that I have. I am not a failure. It is just the way the economy is at the moment. Don't let it get you down. Enjoy the days that you have off and make the most of them. Just accept that some days work will come and others it wont. Talk to your husband if you are feeling a bit down and I am sure he will tell you enough reasons why he loves you and is proud of you :-)

I hope everything starts to appear a bit better for you soon :-)

happywithlife

hey there
totally get where you are coming from
i am 'lucky' (?!) to have 4.5 hrs in a local school this year for the year ...
my husband only works 3 days a week as well and bills are getting tighter and tighter ...in fact we are facing the prospect of having to ring the mortgage provider this week to start neogiations (on what i don't know) because i can just about make this months' payment with the last of our savings and then that it is - we are wiped out! (just in time for xmas too with two small kiddies :mad:)
nobody can understand how i am 'caught for money' and i feel like a complete failure at times - i'm a teacher and i can't pay my bills.
to add insult to injury social welfare informed me last week they will be cutting off my top up in 6 months time (my hours are only over 3 days so i was claiming the other days) as i am not 'looking for full time work' or attending fas courses. i signed a contract to take the job i do have commiting myself for the school year and now i feel like i am being punished for that. if i hadn't taken the job, sw would equally have cut me off then saying i didn't take the job when offered. i can't win with them .
sorry - this is such a rant considering my username
i am usually not so moany

wishinonastar

happywithlife, i am so sorry to see that you are going through a hard time too. Dont apologise for the rant-i think sometimes it helps to get it off your chest. Your post sends home the messege that people like you, i and your hubby who actually get up and go to work as well as rearing kids are the ones getting punished. I ve been saying for a while that i think sw needs to be more aware of the position teachers like us are in-for example if i could take a part time job elsewhere i would but i never know when i am working so i cant. In your case-how can you be in full time employment when there isnt any out there? its so frustrating.

I know what you mean about feeling a failure-you are not though! we cannot help the situation we find ourselves in. sometimes its very hard to remain positive though! i truly hope everything works out for you and your family.

wishinonastar

fairy1, thank you for the kind message! I am so happy that you have mat leave untill may. I got that last year and the sheer relief of knowing that I had work everyday untill may was unreal! It is so comforting to know that there are many people in the same boat. And you are right to point out that I am very lucky in regards to my other half. He is unbelievably understanding and is very much about me enjoying my time off. I still carry guilt though on the days I am not working a bit. I think about how apart from cleaning, washing, ironing, grocery shopping etc I do very little for 'us'. It is something I am going to have to work on!

Thanks again for the lovely messge!

Heydeldel

Hi,

I'm an NQT and so far only had 5 weeks work this year. Getting the rejection letters from schools ( when they send them) is getting tougher as the year progresses. I can't even imagine what it must be like a couple of years in! Hearing such stories really makes me wonder if I chose the right career! :eek:

To fill my time I'm doing an online course, setting up some workshops with a friend ( also an out of work teacher) and I have a horse which gets me out and about and keeps me fit. I think personal interests and hobbies are great at keeping the blues away. I'm looking at my 'between jobs' phase as an excuse to do things I enjoy and otherwise would not have the time to do if I was working. I've wanted to do this online course for ages and I'm really enjoying it. It will also improve some areas of my teaching.

Don't be so hard on yourself! So many people are in the same boat and it's nothing to be ashamed about!

wishinonastar

that is a really great idea!! I was thinking that if things dont improve after xmas i may look into online courses! As for picking the wrong career-stick with it. its hell when there's no work but any time i am standing in front of a class teaching all i can think of is that all the hard times and struggles are worth it because this is what i am meant to do and this is not work, this is a pleasure!

thanks for the encouragement and best of luck to u!

Heydeldel

Things have to pick up sometime right?!

I'm looking at the joblessness as time to do things I put off during study or other busy times.

Check out your local volunteer center. You could probably find something in the education field. I'm waiting to start working with young school leavers teaching them an exam subject. It'll be great experience and keep me in the mind frame of teaching.

We've just got to be creative and open-minded.

maynooth_rules

In a similar position to most here and it is very disheartening. Had a coupld of maternity leaves and its very disheartning that no matter how well i did that eventually those classes that I worked so hard on are now gone.
Another disheartening aspect is that i am 29 now and at the very best will be in my mid 30s if I get a CID which i simply cant see myself getting.

Heydeldel

It is disheartening. I'm 27 and see my friends earning a decent wage and being able to enjoy life. I'm just starting out in teaching, I get very anxious some days thinking about how long it will be before I have any 'hours'.

I'm thinking about moving to England if I don't get anything decent by the summer.

chippers

Heydeldel wrote: »

It is disheartening. I'm 27 and see my friends earning a decent wage and being able to enjoy life. I'm just starting out in teaching, I get very anxious some days thinking about how long it will be before I have any 'hours'.

I'm thinking about moving to England if I don't get anything decent by the summer.

This is my second year teaching away from Ireland and I would definitely recommend doing it if your circumstances allow. These stories of people with number of years experience in Ireland waiting beside the phone in the morning for a call from a school are really horrible.

Heydeldel

Got two more rejection letters in the post today. Feeling really depressed about the whole thing. What is January like for jobs? People keep telling me 'something will turn up' but I'm seriously doubting it now. I knew going into the PDE that things were tight for teaching but really had no idea how bad.

So thinking of heading back to England. Anyone know what happens with the NQT workshops? I've 4 done already. Such a pain. There's one a month so they drag out for the whole year. Should I stick it out here for the year and get them done?

happywithlife

Heydeldel wrote: »

Got two more rejection letters in the post today. Feeling really depressed about the whole thing. What is January like for jobs? People keep telling me 'something will turn up' but I'm seriously doubting it now. I knew going into the PDE that things were tight for teaching but really had no idea how bad.

So thinking of heading back to England. Anyone know what happens with the NQT workshops? I've 4 done already. Such a pain. There's one a month so they drag out for the whole year. Should I stick it out here for the year and get them done?

bummer
i'd keep looking - maybe a mat leave might come up after xmas - you'd get till the end of the year out of it and gain some very valuable experience. have you sent round cv's to local schools? i am in the process of blitzing them again to try and pick up extra work for the days i don't work.
hopefully you'll get something in the new year

Heydeldel

happywithlife wrote: »

bummer
i'd keep looking - maybe a mat leave might come up after xmas - you'd get till the end of the year out of it and gain some very valuable experience. have you sent round cv's to local schools? i am in the process of blitzing them again to try and pick up extra work for the days i don't work.
hopefully you'll get something in the new year

Thanks for that! Feeling a bit better today. Just had a meltdown yesterday! I'm going into my local volunteer center today about working with some early school leavers. That should keep me busy and build up the CV. Also a teacher I worked with on my teaching practice has asked me to help him with a TY project. I'll get involved with that too.

I'll blitz the schools again too before crimbo. I did it in Sept but prob a good idea to refresh principal's memories! haha.

happywithlife

Heydeldel wrote: »

Thanks for that! Feeling a bit better today. Just had a meltdown yesterday! I'm going into my local volunteer center today about working with some early school leavers. That should keep me busy and build up the CV. Also a teacher I worked with on my teaching practice has asked me to help him with a TY project. I'll get involved with that too.

I'll blitz the schools again too before crimbo. I did it in Sept but prob a good idea to refresh principal's memories! haha.

might be worth it as flu season is starting to kick in and a few teachers in my school are starting to feel the effects .. may be some extra work in the next few days (not that i wish my co workers ill of course but every cloud has a silver lining and all that) - prob' jjnking myself now