House Searched By Garda

Amy_Roddam

Hi, I am looking for some advice and help regarding an incident which happened over the weekend, I am reluctant to talk to my family and friends as I do not want to get them involved as it will worry them, advise me to get out of this relationship, move out etc.

Heres the story,

I am currently living with my boyfriend, previous to me moving in, he has a fella renting a room from him who over the years has become a friend of his aswell. He is in to weed and smokes it all the time. The house stinks sometimes from the stuff he has it that often.

My BF and I were have a quiet night in, lets call in Paddy, was out and came home later on that night about 10, within a few minutes there was a knock on the door, me and my BF had our usual banter thinking it was his bro in law and a friend, thats for you, no you get it etc eventually i got up and when I go to the door the person on the other side flashes a Garda badge through the window well to say I nearly had a heartattack is an understatement, anyway I opened the door and there was 3 plan closed Garda standing there one with a search warrant to search the house for drugs. In they came, one explained that the warrant was under Paddys name and they had a call reporting him for drug dealing, the other 2 went up to his room and searched the place but found nothing well enough for 2 joints but nothing to arrest him, as I found out from my BF sometimes he has enough for 50 on him. He had also been drinking and drove home and the Garda questioned him on how he got home etc
They not only searched his room but searched our room too, went through my stuff and my boyfriends and his daughters room and antic upstairs unknown to me and my BF downstairs.

My boyfriend has a daughter and stays over every other weekend along with my niece I am just thankful it wasnt when they were there.

I know nothing was found and that he doesnt deal drugs with there is no smoke without fire, right??? My BF more or less turned a blind eye to it and said he had nothing doesnt deal etc and that was it but I dont think that is good enough, a black marked went down against the house cos of Paddy, the Garda said they are watching the place, I am paranoid every time I go out the door who may be watching do they think Im involved, what if they call again, I dont know if I want to be there with this guy living in the house, my BF will say im overreacting and say go if you want then as he is so laid back its frustrating, I dont know how to get through to him that this is a bad situation.
He wont even think about telling Paddy to leave.

Advice please.....

Ellsbells

God I would lose my marbles... Firstly I doubt they are watching the house that closely but I am surprised your bf was not more upset. Is there any way he knows more than he is letting on? Why dont you get yer man to move out?

username123

Wow.

There is no way Id live under circumstances where the guards could be coming to search the place any minute. Id move out. Immediately.

These people dont care about you, they only care about themselves. Paddy only cares about his drugs. Your bf is deluded if he thinks that living with someone who is being watched by the guards wont draw attention on him. The guards are not involved because someone is having a few spliffs. There is something more serious going on to attract their attention.

Stay if you want, but is the paranoia and worry worth it?

I once dated someone who was involved with both selling and smoking hash. One night we were driving home from somewhere and he stopped and a guy handed him in a big bag of bars of hash. He put the bag on the floor and kept driving. The guards then appeared and followed us home (I didnt know it was a bag of hash btw), and they asked some questions (it was a broken taillight they followed him for) kind of checking if he was sober. After they left he started laughing and showed me the contents of the bag. I left and dissolved the relationship - what was the point? How would I have ever proven that I wasnt involved with the hash pick up? I was in the car, it was my bf, I sat there while someone handed him a bag of drugs - I could only imagine me saying 'no guard, I didnt know' and them saying 'yeah right'. Its not worth it.

ash23

He has a child who stays with him and he knows his housemate is a drug user with enough drugs at any given time to warrant a conviction??? Does the mother of his child know this???

OP, if it were me I'd refuse to go near the house again until "Paddy" was gone and if it cost me my relationship then so be it. I wouldn't want to get myself associated with someone like "Paddy" because mud sticks and I wouldn't want to be known to the gardai.

Your boyfriend is being ridiculous allowing this situation to carry on with a child staying.

Riesen_Meal

I wouldn't worry about it personally, unless the Paddy lad is actually dealing - then its a entirely different scenario, the fact that your other half has no qualms with kids being around would indicate Paddy isn't dealing to me, or would he be that stupid?

At the end if the day it is your bfs home and its up to him who he chooses to live with, but the question I would ask is who called the cops in the first place? Could it be a concerned neighbor who smelt the weed and maybe assumed that he was growing something?

Similar thing happened to a friend of mine who was in her student digs in Carlow and 4 burly lads burst into her room looking for a dealer, to find a little hippy girl sat smoking weed, they saw she was no dealer and left her alone and didn't even take her smoke off her,they apologised and left in fact!

To this day she thinks it was the landlord....

SunnyDub1

You're right. There is no smoke with out fire and big chance is that he is dealing.
God only knows who else is watching the house :rolleyes:

Secondly I think it's shocking that your OH allows his daughter to be around that kind of environment. You say he smokes it in the house - this isn't good for the child, either is having garda searching the house. This type of stuff can have all kind of effects on the child.

IMO Op, for your own sake I wouldn't go to his house again. Explain to your OH that you are not comfortable there and you'd prefer to spend time else where.

Whether he thinks your over reacting or what not, he is your boyfriend so he should respect your choices and opinions.

I would strongly try to encourage him to have the house mate move out or for him to move out. For his own safety and most importantly his child's safety.

username123

SunnyDub1 wrote: »

Secondly I think it's shocking that your OH allows his daughter to be around that kind of environment. You say he smokes it in the house - this isn't good for the child, either is having garda searching the house. This type of stuff can have all kind of effects on the child.

+1 on this too.

SunnyDub1

Fieldog wrote: »

Similar thing happened to a friend of mine who was in her student digs in Carlow and 4 burly lads burst into her room looking for a dealer, to find a little hippy girl sat smoking weed, they saw she was no dealer and left her alone and didn't even take her smoke off her,they apologised and left in fact!

To this day she thinks it was the landlord....

Sorry but this is a load of crap.
The garda have to get a warrant before they can search a house, this takes prep and time and most importantly some form of relevant evidence.
They most certainly wont go threw the time and effort of getting a warrant to search a house because of an angry neighbor or landlord who gets a funny smell.


And I do not for one second believe that the guards walked in, saw her smoking an illegal substance, left it with her and then apologized :eek:

Cool story bro :cool:

Amy_Roddam

Ok, he doesnt be there that often when his daughter is, but I agree on smoking while she is there, I lost the head the other week when I came home and he was smoking it while she was there, all my BF said was he is in the kitchen she cant smell it in sitting room where she was. The more I think of what he does and his laid back attitude the more I am wondering do I need this, I love him to bits but i am at odds what to do I dont want to lose him but I know if i put it too him he wont ask paddy to move out or stop smoking in the house, it will be me he will let leave thinking and knowing when it comes to it I wont. I cant go home as my parents will ask questions. I dont know what do to, maybe I am over reacting as nothing was essentially found to arrest him over.

LittleBook

ash23 wrote: »

He has a child who stays with him and he knows his housemate is a drug user with enough drugs at any given time to warrant a conviction??? Does the mother of his child know this???

Amy_Roddam wrote: »

My boyfriend has a daughter and stays over every other weekend along with my niece I am just thankful it wasnt when they were there.

Does your sibling know about the environment YOU bring YOUR niece into?

There's a serious amount of cop on lacking in this whole situation. If it was me, either Paddy would be out or I would be out and in any case I certainly wouldn't have my niece in that house.

ash23

So he'll choose his stoner mate over his girlfriend. And he'll put his daughters health at risk by allowing this to go on. He'd want to cop himself on imo.

Let your parents ask questions. All you've to do is say you'd a row and need some space for a few nights.

I would also suggest you stop putting your niece in this kind of environment. You're an adult, he's an adult, Paddy is an adult.

But you all ought to be ashamed of yourselves for dragging innocent kids into this kind of atmosphere where their health is being compromised and the guards are likely to come knocking at any minute.

Does he realise he could lose access to his child over this?
I'm assuming the mother is oblivious (I really hope so otherwise the poor kid is doomed).

tony81

I have nothing against people having some weed for personal use. I really doubt the gardai are too concerned either as they have bigger fish to fry.

The problem is, it sounds like this guy is trouble. Drink driving -I wouldn't tolerate someone to be pulling up to my house drunk if I had kids over at times. Enough weed for 50 joints (or, enough weed for a few joints for himself and tidy profit from selling the rest to friends)? The fact the guards bothered to get a search warrant means they are watching this guy. It's too bad they didn't find more when they searched your house.

It's time to show this guy the door. Either that or tell your bf you're moving to somewhere you'll feel safe.

Riesen_Meal

SunnyDub1 wrote: »

Sorry but this is a load of crap.
The garda have to get a warrant before they can search a house, this takes prep and time and most importantly some form of relevant evidence.
They most certainly wont go threw the time and effort of getting a warrant to search a house because of an angry neighbor or landlord who gets a funny smell.


And I do not for one second believe that the guards walked in, saw her smoking an illegal substance, left it with her and then apologized :eek:

Cool story bro :cool:

It was a minimal amount of hashish, a crumb apparently, I don't care if you believe my story or not "bro" but I felt it was relevant to the thread....

As I stated in my post above, it is a different story if Paddy IS dealing from the house...

If that's the case I would be out of there pronto op....

Cops can get a warrant on a hunch if they so please, I have 3 uncles in AGS and 2 of my best friends are members of the force, one of them told me got a warrant for a fella recently out of talking to a local junkie about a suspicion he had, with no evidence other than hearsay, and found a lot of smack shoved up a chimney in some guys home!

Amy_Roddam

No my sibling doesnt know. She has only stayed over 3 times and on those 3 occasions Paddy was not there, I know that is no excuse, but it wont be happening again.

And no her mother does not know. I know this is a really bad situation and to be honest I wish she did then it might make him cope on to the situation.

I told him at the weekend I was not getting caught up in Paddys mess or his and he was like its not my mess. He has no intention of throwing Paddy out as he is his friend.

Amy_Roddam

He is not dealing from the house as far as I am aware. There is no strangers calling etc. He might get some for his work mates I know that much but thats it.

Starokan

In general I hate ultimatums but this one is very clear, you have a situation here that affects children as well as adults.

Put it like this "Either he goes or I go"

Its that simple, gardai raid houses of people who are becoming more known to them, it may be a one off or it may not but if this is not a lifestyle you like then you have got to change it, if your boyfriend refuses to budge then you are not at the top of his priorities and thats your answer in itself

Riesen_Meal

Amy_Roddam wrote: »

He is not dealing from the house as far as I am aware. There is no strangers calling etc. He might get some for his work mates I know that much but thats it.

Im sorry Amy but getting something for his work mates IS dealing, whatever way you look at it!

looksee

OP, your user name looks as if it could be your real name, you might want to re-think that.

I know of a situation where a child living in a house with a drug addict would go for weekend visits to his grandparents and take all the first day to come off the weed in his system.

ash23

Amy_Roddam wrote: »

He is not dealing from the house as far as I am aware. There is no strangers calling etc. He might get some for his work mates I know that much but thats it.

Thats dealing.

I had a friend who used to use. Started off as personal use and then he'd pick up a bit for one friend and another and another. He wasn't a drug dealer in the classic sense, he made no profit but the guards raided his house too, his flatmates kicked him out and he was very lucky not to end up with a record.

If the mother of the child finds out he might lose the access he has to his child.I actually don't think any of you are taking this seriously enough.

Riesen_Meal

looksee wrote: »

OP, your user name looks as if it could be your real name, you might want to re-think that.

I know of a situation where a child living in a house with a drug addict would go for weekend visits to his grandparents and take all the first day to come off the weed in his system.

Can you get stoned through passive smoking now?

SunnyDub1

Fieldog wrote: »

Can you get stoned through passive smoking now?

Yes!

Just like the way you can get cancer through passive smoking

tony81

Fieldog wrote: »

Can you get stoned through passive smoking now?

Yes

username123

Amy_Roddam wrote: »

He is not dealing from the house as far as I am aware. There is no strangers calling etc. He might get some for his work mates I know that much but thats it.

So he is dealing.

This thread is now in Personal Issues. Please read the charter before posting and do not make uncivil comments to other posters.

Amy_Roddam

I have thought seriously about this, I have done nothing but think about it over the weekend, I do not want to give my BF an ultimatium as to be honest deep down I know he is not going to kick Paddy out, at the end of the day he is his mate, says he knows he isnt dealing only smokes it himself and doesnt think outside the box of the consequences further down the line. I am going to talk to him about it tonight whether it gets me anywhere is another thing but thank you for all the input, I have taken all the comments on board and will be putting alot what was said here to him.

username123

Amy_Roddam wrote: »

I have thought seriously about this, I have done nothing but think about it over the weekend, I do not want to give my BF an ultimatium as to be honest deep down I know he is not going to kick Paddy out, at the end of the day he is his mate, says he knows he isnt dealing only smokes it himself and doesnt think outside the box of the consequences further down the line.

So you think your BF will choose Paddy over you?

And your BF is willing to expose his child to this environment?

Remind me here, why exactly would you want to be with someone like that? Its not showing any respect to you, or to his child (which to be totally honest, is even more worrying!!!). And its not showing any respect to the mother of his child, who would no doubt cut access if she knew her child was being exposed to drug use in the home and Garda raids.

Amy_Roddam

To be honest, that isnt a question I can answer, as money is tight he needs the extra person to help pay the mortage, bills etc. To be honest I have never saw any suspicious activity from him where he could be dealing from the house. The Garda spoke with me and my BF after the incident and said they have no reason to believe he is dealing using it for personal use yes but as far as they could see there was no evidence to suggest anything else.

I am wondering can I ring the Garda station and find out about the situation.

My BF can sometimes well maybe alot of the time be too nice for his own good and I think this is clouding his view.

I am going to speak to him about the issues of concern to me re his child, my safety and that of my friends and family that come to stay etc.

username123

Amy_Roddam wrote: »

To be honest, that isnt a question I can answer, as money is tight he needs the extra person to help pay the mortage, bills etc.

Could he not rent the room to someone else who isnt the subject of Garda raids?

Amy_Roddam wrote: »

To be honest I have never saw any suspicious activity from him where he could be dealing from the house. The Garda spoke with me and my BF after the incident and said they have no reason to believe he is dealing using it for personal use yes but as far as they could see there was no evidence to suggest anything else.

Just because you have seen nothing doesnt mean nothing is going on. The Guards had reason to search. What they are saying there is based on the search. The Guards would be careful about what they say (in case someone starts screaming about defamation). I can guarantee you, they dont raid houses because someone smokes the odd bit.

Amy_Roddam wrote: »

I am wondering can I ring the Garda station and find out about the situation.

I doubt it - and think this through - if you did that, dont you think the Guard in question might think you were ringing on behalf of Paddy to find out how much the Guards know?

Amy_Roddam wrote: »

My BF can sometimes well maybe alot of the time be too nice for his own good and I think this is clouding his view.

I think you yourself might be in denial about your BF. Its not being too nice for your own good to expose your child to such an environment. Its reckless and irresponsible. And now you are being subjected to the fright etc of the Garda raid - is this him being too nice?

Amy_Roddam wrote: »

I am going to speak to him about the issues of concern to me re his child, my safety and that of my friends and family that come to stay etc.

It amazing to me that any adult would need any of this spelled out for them. Would you be happy for a member of your family, one of your friends, or a work mate to be present and have the knowledge that your home is the subject of Garda raids?

Stavro Mueller

This also has repercussions for you. What if the parent(s) of your niece find out that she has been staying in a house alongside stoner boy? Kids notice more than you think and can also say things you wish they wouldn't. Also, Ireland is a small country so all it takes is for someone who knows someone to spot the squad car outside your house and word will spread like wildfire.

Just because you haven't noticed Paddy dealing doesn't mean he hasn't been up to something untoward. It's not as if he's going to put a flashing neon sign in the window. The guards didn't pluck that warrant out of the sky.

Amy_Roddam

Thank you Username123 what you are saying is exactly right. I need to put my foot down on this, i think i too have been in denial hoping its not as bad as I think.... I do not want to be caught up in any criminal activity, I have never had dealings with the Garda certainly am not going to start now.

Thanks

username123

I wish you all the best, just be strong and remember that the defence will be to minimise the behaviour and say its not that bad etc... but the reality is that there could be a terrible knock on effect in your own life from such behaviour and why should you have to put up with that?

Good luck.

Esoteric_

I'm not going to repeat what other users have said, although I agree with most points in this thread. I'll just say this -

It's absolutely disgusting, scumbag behaviour to have children in that environment. So he doesn't smoke it 'often' when your bf's daughter is around. ONCE is too much. I wouldn't even smoke a normal cigarette around a child. Fumes do not stay in one room, even if the door is closed and I'm telling you out straight, you CAN smell weed from one room to another. I dated enough smokers of it to know that.

He hasn't smoked it around your niece, great. What about the risk of her FINDING his weed? You read all these stories in the news about kids drinking chemicals, swallowing pills and ingesting drugs that their parents leave around. I'm horrified that you would allow a child to be in that environment.

Sorry, but both you and your boyfriend need to cop on and realise the danger you're both putting two innocent children in.

The fact that you won't issue him an ultimatum because you know he'll pick his friend over you speaks volumes.

Amy_Roddam

for anyone curious of the outcome of this horrible situation, after a lengthy conversation last night, with the help from the advice I got here, I had alot of things to point out to my BF which he agreed with and he has spoken to Paddy and told him that he can no longer live in the house and to make plans to find somewhere else within the next day or so.

I thank you for the advice both positive and negative and have taken it all on board thats why I got the outcome that was right for everyone thats important.

Thanks

Esoteric_

Amy_Roddam wrote: »

for anyone curious of the outcome of this horrible situation, after a lengthy conversation last night, with the help from the advice I got here, I had alot of things to point out to my BF which he agreed with and he has spoken to Paddy and told him that he can no longer live in the house and to make plans to find somewhere else within the next day or so.

I thank you for the advice both positive and negative and have taken it all on board thats why I got the outcome that was right for everyone thats important.

Thanks

I'm glad you stood up and stopped what was going on. Fair play to you, OP.

Taltos

Amy as you have resolved the issue we are closing this thread. If the situation changes and you need more advice please PM the Mod team requesting this thread be re-opened.

All the best
Taltos