Post-break up advice

LegacyUser

Me and my bf of 1 and a half years broke up just over a week ago. I broke it off, as I didn't feel the same anymore.

Now, I know this probably sounds ridiculous, but while looking on a mutual friend's page I saw that he has been on a date or two with a girl from work, a week after we broke up. Like...the thing is, I wouldn't mind, only for the fact that he made breaking up so extremely difficult, and guilted me into getting back with him more than once because he told me he would never and could never get over me.

Like, I'm not annoyed at him. If anything I'm happy he is moving on, but it all seems so quick. I guess it's shock more than anything else. Our relationship was pretty intense, and I felt extremely guilty after breaking up with him.

I guess I just want some advice for how to just get over it and stop thinking about it. I don't want to get back with him, but, well, I guess I just didn't expect it so soon! I know I have no right to feel in any way annoyed because I broke up with him. But I just feel a bit down about it. And am looking for some advice.

Neyite

Some people I've noticed are a bit like monkeys swinging through the trees when it comes to relationships - like a monkey wont let go of one vine until they have a hold of another, some folks have to have another love interest lined up as the first relationship is ending. Its as if they don't like being alone. Maybe he is a bit like that, had to fill the girlfriend-shaped gap in his life as quick as possible.

If he is someone like that, then I'd feel a slight pity for him that he is so seemingly insecure that he cant be single and enjoy it for a while.

summerlucey

Hes only trying to prove he still has it - rebound - take no notice. If he hears you're upset about it then mission completed for him. Fair play to you for calling it quits rather than prolong it. Chin up. Let him off

magneticimpulse

Fair play to him for moving on and dating other people. Did you want him to give you more of an ego boost? More people should be like him post break up. He is single, you dumped him and he has moved on with his life. Just because you were not interested, doesnt mean other girls are not happy to snap him up.

tinkerbell

OP, you have no right to judge him. YOU dumped him, he is well entitled to move on to someone else and as soon as he sees fit.

msg11

Some people on this thread need to calm down a little, yeah she did break up with him dose not mean she didn't care about the guy. The fact the guy has moved on so quick the OP is asking herself did she mean anything at all to him. The answer to that is only he knows.

Regards getting over him, everyone is different as I say time and time again, time is the big healer. Get out yourself if you fell like dating, take a break if not have some fun with friends and your hobbies.

BTW , you do have a right to be annoyed some people can force you into a corner where you break up with them only because they force you to, just to want to be able to say well your the one that broke up with me and gives them an easy way out.

The usual, I would say delete the number, don't contact him delete him on Facebook and then don't go hunting for what he is doing on Facebook a few months hopefully you will be over him.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies.

magneticimpulse and tinkerbell. I know it is a god thing he has moved on, and that I have no right to be anyway annoyed, I said that in my OP.

I know it's not right to feel this way. I guess I am just doubting things he said to me, and a small part of me is wondering if he fancied this girl before we had broken up.

I know most of me is glad that he has moved on, because, quite frankly it has shown me that I should not feel so terrible about moving on myself. I guess it has just shocked me, and I want to find a way to deal with this. I'm not justifying my feelings. I did used to love him so much, and so although I am not in love with him now, I do care about him. And I guess it just hurts a bit.



Thanks for the advice for moving on. I am doing my best to keep busy!

SineadMarie

Sounds like my ex, hes insecure and cant enjoy being single for a while. After a year and and half its obivously a rebound but i suppose he's dealing with it the way he thinks is best.