How to stop overthinking?

LegacyUser

Some background first, I suppose;

I'm a male in their late-20s, who suffers terribly from anxiety and, for a time, depression, though I have realized that this was as a result of my anxieties.

This stems from a not-so-easy (but much better compared to others, so I always admit it could have been much worse, which I always realize and admit to) childhood/adolescence, which stems from having an extraordinarily quick-tempered father, who never physically harmed me or any of my siblings (as far as I'm aware), but knew how to make us feel worthless, and almost near-constant bullying all throughout secondary school (again, barely ever physical, but making me feel worthless and nothing) and somewhat beyond, by different people (including, for a time, during college, though nowhere near as bad, just enough to feel uncomfortable). Alongside this, I was diagnosed as dyspraxia as a young child by my mother, who has had training and experience in that (I also once mentioned it to a counselor I was seeing during college, who commented that it made a lot of sense with my personality and other things) - so being that, with a really impatient and quick-to-anger father and bullying and other factors, have led me to have an almost-zilch view of my self and my self-worth.

This bothers me massively, because it leads to near-constant overthinking and overanalyzing things that don't require it at all, making something like courting/seeing someone especially difficult.

I used to suffer terribly from social anxiety and other things, which I have beaten to some extent, though it still creeps up on me sometimes, which I find almost impossible to control.

In the next few weeks I hope to see a counselor to try and work my way through some more issues, but in the meantime, does anyone have any advice they can give me on trying to get over my overthinking, or at least to make it better?

chillywilly

I had a similar-ish problem a while back (maybe not as much as you), to the point i couldn't get to sleep at night with random thoughts racing through my head. What helped me enormously was eating a better diet and exercise. You would be surprised how much a jog a few times a week can help with depression/anxiety.

Obviously if there are deeper issues then a therapist is the person to help you with them but this is what I felt helped me.

summerlucey

Def go see a counseller. Go for regular massages / yoga and perhaps get your Doctor to prescribe you pills for anxiety. They say its all about the breathing. perhaps you'd have no interest in yoga like a lot of blokes i know would turn their nose up at it so maybe perhaps buy yourself a meditation cd and just listen for 20mins a day. It will do you the world of good trust me. Good lluck

zef

I agree with the other posters re: exercise being a great help for anxiety. After a long walk I feel much better and my head dosen't fizz so much with random thoughts.
Maybe check out Eckhart Tolle on youtube,- his message is it's always 'now' and that you can always deal with the 'now'- but the brain hops back and forth from the past to the future, if you pull yourself back to the present moment it really helps.
There is also some great meditation sites on the web, one (i can't remember the url) is free and is based on 10 minutes of meditation per day to start.
Also I'd really reccommend "Yoga Nidra" (some good ones on youtube-) to help you sleep, or calm your brain down, it dosen't involve anything more stressful than lying down with headphones on and breathing and becoming aware of your physical body.
"Rescue remedy" may also help - it's helped friends, a small bottle available from health stores / pharmacy for under a tenner. Personally I prefer an oil burner with Lavendar (for relaxation/ sleep) or Jasmine (depression/ self confidence) - and these oils can be got extremely cheaply on ebay compared to what you'd pay in a shop.
Good luck with your counselling, I really hope i helps you OP.

marizpan

Here are a few to tips I found helpful;
1. Name it for what it is/was.
Bullying or child abuse etc. Don't make little of it, the child who experienced didnt think little of it. Name it, except it and move forward. Understand that you wronged and how to deal with the problems related to it.
2. Fake it till u make it.
Be aware of your self confidence and how it affected your life past and present. How do you hold your head? High or looking at the ground. How do you dress? What is your self worth? Do you have self destructive pattern you need to be aware of?
3. Educate yourself
Learn about body launguage and alpha/ beta roles in societies. Great books available. You will realise that a pattern of behaviour follows you ie. People taking advantage of you etc, this is from low self worth. It is self inflicted unfortunately and very easily fixed

Best of luck

*eadaoin

The counselling will really help it's a good step to take, and maybe at some stage in the future you can look into Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which is highly recommended for anxiety problems and will help you look at the way you think and change any fearful thoughts.

I'd also advise you to look into the practice of mindfulness which I can tell you from experience is really helpful with anxiety and overthinking. It teaches you to bring your thoughts to the present moment and into a much calmer state of mind. It's a really popular concept at the moment, so you'll find all kinds of books, articles and Youtube videos on it, but the basics of it are very simple to grasp and with practice it should help you.

There's also a great tapping technique that you can use during times when you're feeling overwhelmed. Again the aim is to help you gain calm and reset your thoughts. If you go to Youtube and search TFT or emotional freedom tapping techniques you should find some videos that will teach you how to do it.

I know the torture of overthinking anxious thoughts, but with time and effort you can learn to unwind


Edit:

I also meant to say that the others here who've mentioned meditation are 100% right that it will help you with anxiety. Just 15 mins a day is enough to literally change your response to stress and the way your brain works. There's a great book called Soul-Centered by Sarah McLean that teaches you the basics and also explains how it works for both your body and mind.

Excersie will distract you from the anxious thoughts, and it will also give you a hit of the hormones we need to keep our brains and bodies happy, it's a really good idea. Yoga in particular is great for anxiety!

banquo

Jogging jogging jogging. Just go jogging.

Seriously. Jogging is the way forward!

layercake1

DR. WAYNE .W. DYER
Everyday Wisdom for success

buy this book(not hard to read)
great refrences... read it again and again!!!
no such thing as failure only feed back.
best of luck my friend and takecare!!!