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Disinterested and disengaged

  • 17-11-2012 12:39pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm married for less than a year (having walked out with each other for about 10 years) and for the past week we've barely exchanged words. I haven't the energy to get into a big emotional talk. It is always she who makes the first move at reconciliation; this time, however, she's not.

    I feel I should make the first move just to be fair to her. But at another level I don't care about this latest sulk on both our parts, or rather I try all the time to avoid big emotionally draining engagements as I try to direct my energy into more productive things careerwise.

    Her timekeeping (she's always late and holding me up), disorganisation and general chaos drain the hell out of me. That's my central problem. On the other hand, she has told me every day how happy she is in married life and this is her dream and I don't want to 'tread on' her dreams. I'm conscious of how beautiful that is in life and I want to keep it going.

    Is it normal for young married couples to go a week without talking? Or for people to disengage because it is so emtionally draining?


Comments

  • #2
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    apathicconfliction wrote: »
    Is it normal for young married couples to go a week without talking? Or for people to disengage because it is so emtionally draining?

    Everybodys relationship is different and what would be acceptable in one wouldnt be acceptable in another.

    I wouldnt be able for a relationship that had the silent treatment for a week - or even a day. I also wouldnt be able for a relationship with a lot of rows or arguments. I like peace and tranquility and calmness. Sure, there is the odd row or bad time where there might be 2 or 3 rows in a short period but overall myself and my husband rarely row, and never do the silent treatment (one of us might go off for an hour or two to cool off).

    Different strokes for different folks but its really not a good thing to be ignoring each other like this. Dont you want to sort it out?


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