Ceremonies for the Non-religious

TheFlyingPig

Hey all

Following much discussion and deliberation my brother has (like many of you guys) decided to renounce the Catholic Church. He's spent a long time thinking about it and I (as a committed Catholic) respect his decision. However, he will be getting married soon and is unsure of what kind of ceremony he will be able to have. I know he can formalise his marriage (she also has no religion) at a registry office but it would be great if any of you could point me in the direction of some kind of ceremony that could celebrate their love too. Is there anywhere that has a particularly nice area for a ceremony that you know of? Any tips would be genuinely appreciated.

He is also interested in affiliating himself with some kind of organisation that subscribes to the common good. I've sent him in the direction of Humanism but would appreciate some input from people who spend a little more time in thought about this kind of stuff than i do. Its not that he's lazy about his morals and isnt bothered - he just assumes I know more about this than he does and I'd like to help him out. No hidden agendas here, i'm just trying to help him out. Thanks.

Hotblack Desiato

The civil marriage ceremony is quite nice (although short - not good for latecomers) and it's what I and my heathen wife did. We have lots of elderly religious relatives, they turned up, nobody objected - afterwards they all told us how nice they thought the ceremony was. and in fairmess when the focus is on what you feel about each other, with no god or any other crap in the way, it reinforces your commitment to each other, imho.

You can't use 'religious' music in a civil wedding, but anything else goes - among others we had Baby I Love You by Joey Ramone

Just do what you want to do. Don't worry about what the neighbours or your maiden aunt might think. It's your day.

Sarky

It's your day. You make the rules. Well, most of them. Include things you love. There have been themed ceremonies from heavy metal to Minecraft, I'm sure the pair of you can figure something out.

robindch

A few years ago, I was at a humanist ceremony held in a Napoleonic fort near Southampton -- an unbeatable location in which the protagonist and protagonette leaned towards the gothic; he dressing up in a vermillion satin waistcoat, long black tails and top hat, and she in a typical bridal costume dyed black. All the food at the wedding was black too (inky spaghetti, black pudding, christmas pud etc).

The mother of the bride cornered me at one point, thusly, and you'll have to imagine a very strong brummie accent:

Mother of Bride: Hew are yew?
Robindch: I'm one of the folks that X and Y met in North Korea. We've stayed in touch ever since.
MoB: Mighta guessed. It's a bloody shokkin' weddin'.
R: What do you mean?
MoB: Well, how do yew tink I feel seeing me only bloody gerl arriving into her wedding dance in a bloody coffin?

Dont be at yourself

Getting married next March. I don't think I could ever face having a Catholic marriage; it's supposed to be a celebration of two people's love, but invariably everyone gets preached at about how marriage is a actually about the couple's relationship with God, not just each other. No thanks.

We're going to do the official paperwork the week before at the registry office, and are having a Humanist ceremony on the day itself. We'll pick our own readings (lots of good stuff out there, actually -- everything from the funny to the profound. Share your suggestions!), have a bit of music, exchange vows and rings, and that'll be it!

To the OP: if they're doing the legal bit separately, there's no limit in terms of location and setting. We're tying the knot here: http://ballybeg.ie/symes/ballybeg-symes.html -- it's a candlelit converted barn with stone walls, wooden pews, and a roaring open fire at the top. Should be nice and cosy in March. But the choices are really endless; your brother could go for a hotel ballroom, the crypts at Christchurch, the Cliffs of Moher, or wherever is '=special'= to them...

You're a bit more restricted if you want to have the ceremony legally valid: the HSE will have to inspect the venue to make sure there's no religious iconography, and you'll only be able to get married by registered solemnises -- currently priests and spiritualists. There's a bill before the Dail to extend this to the Humanists also, but not sure when that'll be passed.

TheFlyingPig

Many thanks for the replies lads, plenty of options there really. Arriving in a coffin would certainly raise a few eyebrows here - It'd surely make its way onto Joe Duffy.