Bouncing off the walls here

arctan

I'm in no means an alcoholic, but the majority of my social life revolves around the weekend and pubs ....

sitting in here for the first time in about 2 months and literally crawling the walls, not for a drink, but to be out and about, but due to funds I can't even sit down and have a soft drink in the place

just wondering, what do you all do at times like this ??

I'm not big into watching TV, when I study I can for only so long and have to take a break and do something, but what, especially at half 11 on a Friday

Sunnyisland

arctan wrote: »

I'm in no means an alcoholic, but the majority of my social life revolves around the weekend and pubs ....

sitting in here for the first time in about 2 months and literally crawling the walls, not for a drink, but to be out and about, but due to funds I can't even sit down and have a soft drink in the place

just wondering, what do you all do at times like this ??

I'm not big into watching TV, when I study I can for only so long and have to take a break and do something, but what, especially at half 11 on a Friday

It seems as if you are ready to take the step. A lot of us have been there, and know just how scary that possibility is. You might be thinking it is not possible, but I can promise you that it is possible.

Its going to be a battle, especially at first, but you can do it, if you really want it. I highly recommend reading up on AL withdrawal, it can be a serious issue.

Keep fighting those urges one at a time. There is so much to GAIN by stopping (health, relationships, sanity) and so much to lose by drinking (health, relationships, sanity). You are on the right track. It gets WAY easier with time.With that said, I wish you luck, strength and knowledge to beat this addiction.

HellFireClub

arctan wrote: »

just wondering, what do you all do at times like this ??

Go for a walk up the mountains, even at dusk or at night, it can be a mind liberating experience...

arctan

cheers lads, any more suggestions before this weekend rolls over

hubba

Try pack your days with tons of stuff so you are physically wrecked by 10pm.

It's also worth the effort long term to learn how to relax on command: get a book or CD on relaxation techniques/meditation/mindfulness. This will help calm your mind in general. Very useful.

And remind yourself this is about YOU. Don't mind what 'they' are up to and how much fun you imagine 'they' are having and you're not. You don't know what's going on inside their heads, or their bank balance or their relationships.

Spend your time planning what you will do tomorrow when you have a clear head and limitless energy. Reconnect with some family - make that call that you've been putting off.

havetoquit

arctan wrote: »

I'm in no means an alcoholic, but the majority of my social life revolves around the weekend and pubs ....

sitting in here for the first time in about 2 months and literally crawling the walls, not for a drink, but to be out and about, but due to funds I can't even sit down and have a soft drink in the place

just wondering, what do you all do at times like this ??

I'm not big into watching TV, when I study I can for only so long and have to take a break and do something, but what, especially at half 11 on a Friday

This makes me sad to read and I sympathize with your frustration.
Do you enjoy reading? Take a stroll to the library and browse through the amazing stock, where I am sure you will find a fantastic bit of pure escapism or indeed riveting non fiction.

Are you into sports at all? If so, you will meet lots of great people who are not into getting sozzled every weekend and broke on Monday.

Can you cook basic meals and maybe when you can afford it, cook something hearty and simple and invite a few friends around?

Do you feel that your time is being wasted and that you are unfulfilled without money to spend? If so, would you like to find out where even the minimal of your time would be so appreciated? Yes, doing something voluntary; Charity shops need help urgently, soup kitchens, hostels, helping the homeless etc etc. The list is long and the numbers are all available either online or in the Yellow Pages.

I know someone who was in this very same position and got themselves involved in one or more of the above mentioned activities. It changed his life and has hugely enhanced his social interaction with people. His circle of friends has expanded way beyond anything he could have imagined and he even met the lovely girl who became his wife.

Isolation and lonliness leads to terrible frustration for many people and the motivation to get out and do something is not always easy to find, especially the longer it is left.

I do wish things change for you and that your next post will bring news of just that.

havetoquit

Yes, the previous poster's comments are well worth taking on board.

We often imagine that everyone else are having a whale of a time, but life is rarely like that, so you are not alone, but one of many.

You will find your way out of the boredom as soon as you take charge of your life and believe that you can and will do it.

I am often pretty much house bound owing to a mobility issue, but since that first happened I turned my attention towards ways of dealing with it.

I even found a part-time job online which fills in many hours. I read a lot, listen to music and invite my friends round so that I do not become isolated.

When I am able to manage it, I go to my local leisure centre where there is a pay as you go scheme. I feel so much more invigorated after a session in the pool, the sauna, steam rooms and whirlpool. It is brilliant and again, one meets so many people.

I compile quizzes for the local pub quiz nights, even though I rarely get to attend the events myself, but it is great fun looking up new questions each week.

I find it helps to keep focused on what I can do and not the things that I can't and this attitude helps too.

Were I more mobile, there are many groups, activities and associations I would re-join, but alas that time is over and am just so glad I used my time wisely whilst I was able to do it. I never thought the day would come when the ability to do those things would be taken away.

Please take care and I wish you well.

Israel_Dagg

I'd suggest even buying some soft drinks and drinking it. Might help you.

Wishbone Ash

arctan wrote: »

but what, especially at half 11 on a Friday

Get up early each day (i.e. 5 or 6am) and by 11pm there's only one place you'll want to go to.

havetoquit

Are you feeling better now? I do hope so and sorry if our comments are not as helpful as you may have hoped, but I guess we all have individual issues that we deal with in different ways and they may not be the best way for you.

What really does help is meeting with those who really can empathize because they have been there in that very same place in their lives and they all have coping strategies which they are more than willing to pass on. It can be immensely helpful to hear someone elses story and to see how they overcame the issue and got to a better place.

Please do let us know how you are.

hubba

Wishbone Ash wrote: »

Get up early each day (i.e. 5 or 6am) and by 11pm there's only one place you'll want to go to.

As I sit here with my laptop yawning my head off I can agree this is good advice. I wouldn't consider for a second setting foot outside to go to a pub/club at this stage of the day. I'm wrecked from a long day doing sport, christmas shopping (!) and getting a treatment. Bed early for me, after a very full and satisfying day.

havetoquit

Hi Arctan. How are things now? Hopefully they have improved greatly for you.

I can understand that if you study quite a lot, that maybe reading a book would not be perceived as relaxing for you, but perhaps just for that last hour or so at night when you need a great read which is uplifting and great escapism.. If you take this book to bed with you it will probably not be long before you are nodding off.

I also play really soft chill out music to help me to sleep, or even listen to one of those CD's that do a great job of putting me to sleep before I've even got half way through it.

Avoid drinking caffeine after 8pm if at all possible, as it just isn't conducive to sleep.

Above all, as the other poster said, get up early each morning and there is no way you will be walking around at 11pm full of energy and feeling bored for want of a way of using it.

Do you have an exercise regime in the morning and a chill out one at night such as yoga or meditation? These are great for a feeling of well being.

Please keep getting in touch and let us know how things are going ok?

Would be great to hear that even one of the many suggestions helped, even in some small way. The feedback would also be helpful to others who may post on here with a similar issue.

Take care.

havetoquit

I would like to add here that I hope that when you are feeling like you were in your first post that you have a trusted friend at the end of the phone with whom you can have an old chat, vent or whatever. It does help and who knows the day may come when they will need you to be there to listen.

I truly believe that each one of us are vulnerable in our own way, but sometimes it is these very challenging times which help to make us stronger in the end. We somehow find the inner resources we didn't think we possessed which help us to overcome and survive so much of what life throws at us.

As far as pubs and clubs go, you will not be missing much by not frequenting them. All you need is a substitute and believe me, you will find it, if you are sufficiently motivated. You will also be shocked perhaps to learn that you just one of many who are not depending on such venues for their social life or enjoyment.

Go for it and make it happen.

xzanti

There's a lot to be said for herbal tea OP.. might sound a bit 'Nancy' but it does wonders for me..

Strong chamomile tea (made with 3/4 bags) is fantastic for relaxing the body and mind.. I also throw in a Valerian tea bag for good measure.. I do this every night religiously and I haven't had a bad nights sleep in a long time rarely wake up during the night and I have nice lucid dreams most nights..

Tis great.

havetoquit

So agree with that and also partake in the old herbals. A nice long soak in a lavender bath before hopping into bed is also a great way of slowing down the system.

I am wondering if you are still reading these snippets, or beginning to find them irritating.

djfattony2000

Most of my friends socialize around drink. I loving going out meeting them, going to gigs, watching sport in the pub etc.

Due to work which requires me to drive, Im oncall one in every three weeks 24/7 so I obviously cant drink.

I never liked going out and drinking water or softdrinks, people always comment on it, not always negative but still annoying.

Ive now started drinking non alcoholic beers. They are great, no questions as to why you're not drinking, they taste great (especially the Erdinger one), you dont feel like you're missing out on anything, you can drive home, no hangover and best of all they are supposed to be quite good for you (well better than coke anyway )

Ive been out the last 3 nights in a row and had a great time!

(PS: ive just read over this and no I dont work for Erdinger )

havetoquit

That is so great.

Isn't it just so sad and stupid that alcohol plays such a part our culture that people need to pass comments if you are not actually drinking alcohol.

I recall how things were when I worked in European cities; so different, more of a cafe culture, or at the very least usually having food with their alcohol and where the alcohol was more to compliment the meal and not as a means of becoming merry, or drunk.

Yes, of course there were exceptions, but few compared to here. People who drank to excess were actually more pitied, looked down on, to be avoided. They were not perceived to be 'great craic' but boring, irritating and not on the same level conversational wise, so why bother starting one. I mean how does one begin a decent conversation with someone who is already or soon will be on another plane to you, inhibitions gone, getting louder by the minute etc etc.

I tend to mix with a crowd who either do not drink or know their limits and stick to them.

It is so unfunny to watch the scenario where a guy has just said no to the offer of a night cap, knowing that he has reached his limit and it is beginning to show, and then to see his so called mates lining up drinks in front of him and edging him on to drink them, even against his will. What is that all about? Is it that they feel better if each member of the group is on the same level of merriness or that they are just ignorant louts who do not respect or understand the word no?

This only happened to me once and I left every glass bought for me after my initial 'no' simply lined up where the barman left it. They ended up drinking it themselves, but whether they learned anything is doubtful.

arctan

nice one again people, was more the weekend in it, had done nothing, so the nights were.. lonely if anything

but much better now, if I'm in that position again I'll just know I'll have to busy myself during the day so I won't mind lazing out :-)

havetoquit

That is just great to hear arctan and you have the positive posts from us here to read back on if you get bored!!

That's the secret for all of us really, not just yourself; keeping busy. Seeing if we can perhaps come in useful somewhere where the need is greater, but above all to keep communicating with others, letting off steam, having a good old vent and not keeping it all in until it devours us and we become paranoid to the point where we think we must be the only ones feeling that way.

They say that sport of any kind stimulates all the good endorphins and gives us a natural high, but thankfully very unlike the ones that are derived from chemicals. Even a brisk walk in fresh air or a bike ride will bring the same results.

Take care and thanks for touching base again. Keep in touch with us won't you?

anhedonia

havetoquit wrote: »

They say that sport of any kind stimulates all the good endorphins and gives us a natural high, but thankfully very unlike the ones that are derived from chemicals.

actually an endorphin high feels almost identical to a high from opioids.

Endorphins are opioids themselves, and bind to the opiate receptors in our brains in exactly the same way as morphine, leading to that blissful relaxed state.

Endorphins are 'endogenous morphines', or the morphines produced within. Score!!