Despise my future sister in law

caitrionaanne

She is an absolute self centered, self righteous, drama causing, pathetic b**ch!!!

I used to be close to her but following a recent family trauma she has become intolerable. And her husband is as bad!

I wont bore with the little details but anyone else have same problem or even any tips on how to deal with them when I am forced to be in same room. She is the kind of 2 faced c**t who wud be all grand to your face but I cant do that when I dislike someone. Would rather not speak to either of them and am doing what I can to avoid them so far.

So is it ignore them if i have to be in their presence or just do the necessary pleasantries!!!!

rainbow kirby

Moved from tLL.

ArtyC

Ok calm down. Breathe .

Something obviously sparked it this eve... Maybe start there? If ya want to thrash it out..... Or if your just having a rant- sorry ya have to deal with that ****

Calhoun

Really depends on what it is that they have done to you, how bad is it impacting you and your partner?

I am an a similar position with a soon to be inlaw, i don't 100% despise them but don't like being around them for very long and i have little in common with them.

The thing is i have to be around them sometimes but what i will do is keep it very high level, pleasantries ect but i don't go into my life story nor do i confide in them i treat them as if they are an acquaintance i am not close too which essentially they are. I also reduce the amount of times that i have to be around them.

The way i look at it the only way this is going to be a problem is if your partner sees it as a problem or wants to be around them all the time but look at it this way you are marrying your partner not them and there is nothing that says you have to like your or get on with your in-laws. My partner can do what she wants with hers but my rule is don't expect me to treat them like you would as they are not my own family, especially if they are disrespectful to me i wouldn't stand for that crap from my own family i am not going to allow the inlaws to do it.

Peanut2011

OP,

Without knowing what the real problem is all I can say is that you don't have to keep in touch with them. If you are in the situation that you will come across them or be in the same room on occasions be the bigger person. Do the necessary pleasantries and go about you business.

Why make everyone else who is there uncomfortable and uneasy or have to split the family and not have the family gatherings? Also, why show them it bothers you?

DeltaWhite

Op I feel for you!
I am in the same position, my bro is with his OH around 8 years now. Words of advice - just be civil and only speak to her when it is absolutely necessary. TBH you are just going to have to grit your teeth and get on with it. You dont actually have to spend that much time with her do you?

I have had to go on like that because in my situation, there is nothing I can do. My brother loves her, and although she is great for him and treats him well - she is a jealous c*nt to me. She just LOVES trying to put me down and make a show of me and I've come close to slapping her a few times.
It is a horrible situation I know how you feel but hang in there, it's not like you have to be her best buddy

edellc

I think this is the way sisters behave towards their brothers intended tbh, I got on great with one of my OH sisters and the other was a nightmare...13 years later the one I got on with I cant stand anymore and the other one I would trust with my life...things change over time OP and in 10 years time you and she will be different people, yes she may still be a bitch but likewise you may be good friends by then, who know whats around the corner

So as said above, take it as it comes your marrying her brother not her, and you wont have to see her everyday, be polite and civil and never ever ask your OH to choose between you two...leave all that nastiness to her for now

She is an non entity to be worrying about

Best of luck with the wedding OP

Neyite

You'll have to work on a strategy - they will potentially be around for decades. Even if the marriage was to end, there may be children by that stage that would keep her in the family loop.

Its not easy when you have a personality clash in the family, especially when the mammies (well if our family is anything to go by!) LOVE to have you all under the same roof, regardless of who hates who. And you want to please the mammy, or rather don't want to be the bad guy who ruined Christmas*

Be civil, don't rise to the bait, and keep it to small talk.

*or any other family get together

caitrionaanne

Sorry and Thanks all!! It was a bit of a vent last night but she is getting on my wick.

She is the type of person who has to make everything about herself and causes problems for no reason. For example, there was a point of a few weeks where I hadnt been speaking to her (as normally happens when ur busy, nothing unusual) but next thing I hear she had been b**ching that I wasnt answering her calls or replying to her messages! A bit hard when you havent had any calls or messages! She seems to have turned into a righ self centered cow and we are all meant to bow down to her!!

What really annoyed me is the fact that she and her husbands then turn around and bitch about me on facebook!! In fairness, are we not all adults here so why resort to childish tactics! They have never had the guts to say anything to my face! Its just really vexes me that they both carry on this way and the family just take it all!!! Its not causuing any probs with my OH or the rest of his family... Mainly as his parents have just resorted to the fact that she is a horrible person and they cant do anything only put up!!!

I thinks its just eating away at me for a while now but I can say nothing as it will start the 3rd world war!! Some people always play the martyr!!! And it kills me to have to be pleasant at times but what can I do!!!

superblu

I think my brother in law is a complete idiot. Some of the sh!t he comes out with is absolutely outrageous. I just let everything he says wash over me and go out of my way to keep contact to a minimum. There would have been time where I'd have felt obligated to make an effort as he was married to my sister but after a while you just have to put yourself first and be selfish. Do not get involved on couple politics no matter how vexed you get.

username123

caitrionaanne wrote: »

And it kills me to have to be pleasant at times but what can I do!!!

My sister in law is a horrible person. I dont hate her, Im more ambivalent about her, I just dont care.

Im not particularly pleasant to her, Im distant. I treat her much like Id treat a customer who I didnt particularly like in a shop, distant politeness and silence when she makes some mouthy remark - I never rise to her, ever.

I keep contact to an absolute minimum and if I happen to be left in a room alone with her I just say nothing.

curlzy

LOL, me too!

My future SIL is a stupid, lazy, racist, ignorant idiot. You are not alone. I do pretty much what everyone else does, avoid as much as possible and stick to pleasantries when you can't avoid her.

Best of luck.