American Civil War Part II

Killer Wench

These petitions are purely symbolic but, to me, it is the new "Birther" movement. The economy is on the mend, slowly growing, but it is improving. The unemployment rate is high but there is hope that it will continue to go down over the next few months. All in all, we aren't in dire straights when compared to other economies across the globe; yet, you would think the re-election of Obama was the worst thing ever.

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/secission-petitions-filed-20-states-190210006.html

Cookie_Monster

They should ask Europe to swop Texas for Ireland (or something)

Hazys

Dear Red States...

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,Washington,
Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We
believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially
to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot
Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You
get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states
pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the
Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a
bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and
anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at
once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have
kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no
purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their
children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and
hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our
resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent
of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple
and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of
America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners)
90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most
of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and
condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale,
Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88
percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care
costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the
tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern
Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh,
Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred
unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say
that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved
in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believe you are people
with higher morals then we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt
weed they grow in Mexico.

Peace out,
Blue States

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/80714812.html

FanadMan

Does anyone over here really care that much?

Manic Moran

Hazys wrote: »

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/80714812.html

"Dear Blue States. We suggest that you form your nation with the parts of your States that actually vote blue and not unwillingly drag the Red counties with you. You know, the parts that make up the majority of your land masses, you get to keep your cities. If you must split amongst unwilling lines, read on.

As the producers of most of the meat and vegetables you eat and the energy you consume, not to mention the various raw materials barring wood which, in fairness, you have much of, we will be open to negotiations for just how much you are willing to pay us to allow you to keep yourselves alive and comfortable. We'll be waiting as we drink our bourbons and beers. Not sure we'd really count the Delaware, Hudson, Chicago River or Lake Michigan as fresh water, but hey, your country, you drink what you want.

We'll keep Duke, Vanderbilt, Dell, Coca Cola, and the most solvent bank in the country (BoA). Speaking of solvency, we note that California and New York alone have nearly a trillion dollars in debt. Add in New Jersey, Illinois, Massachusetts and Michigan, and you're most of the way to two trillion. By comparison, the other 44 States combined are only at about 2.5 trillion. Or we can look at per capita debt, with New Jersey, Hawaii, Illinois and Connecticut being four of the five worst. (We figure that when we open Alaska up for drilling it'll move out of the five). Forgive us for not selling you our veggies on credit. Our guys in Nebraska, Tennessee, Indiana and Idaho will be watching with amusement.

We'll also be keeping every Class I railroad in the country. Good luck getting your pineapples around. By the way, since you have the most dangerous city in the nation, sleep well. Especially since you have issues allowing citizens to defend themselves.

By the way, we're also keeping most of the Army, Marines and Air Force which are generally in the red States, to include the nukes. We'll split half the Navy and Coast Guard, though. Hopefully you don't annoy anyone."

It is all a bit silly really. It's not a new concept, the Blue States letter has been going around since 2004 at least. Neither is seccession: About three or four years ago Montana's secretary of State said they would consider it if the Supreme Court did not find an individual right to firearms. It was more a protest statement, but still he was a State official.

NTM

Reindeer

There's been talk of secession in Texas every since I was a kid there. The north/south thing still plays out on various levels in American culture, and probably will be for a while. I once told an old man to "Watch who you're calling 'boy' " not all that long ago. Well, that's the edited version of what I said.

Of all those states, Texas has the only chance for independent success. They started out as a republic, and have a legislature organized to run a republic. They are very oil rich, have a lot of tech and the largest medical and oncology centers in the world. Less FDA regulations will mean they will likely become more oil and natural gas rich, especially for off-shore drilling in the gulf. They have their own power grid - the Texas interconnect. They sell energy to various other states as far away as California. And there's the fact Texans are highly independent people with strong wills.

Will it happen? No. The last poll I saw in Texas was a heavily unionist result. Much of the talk is from extremist. Which, in Texas, are known as centrist.

Victor

Ditching Texas would mean it would be decades before there would be a republican president of the USA.

Manic Moran wrote: »

"Dear Blue States. We suggest that you form your nation with the parts of your States that actually vote blue and not unwillingly drag the Red counties with you.

(We figure that when we open Alaska up for drilling it'll move out of the five).

***Cough*** They might have checked, but most of Alaska is made up of 'blue' counties. ***Cough***

Porkchop McGee

Americans need to kill television. It's too easy for the ignorant to be manipulated and it's getting them nowhere.

Lirange

Manic Moran wrote: »

"Dear Blue States. We suggest that you form your nation with the parts of your States that actually vote blue and not unwillingly drag the Red counties with you. You know, the parts that make up the majority of your land masses, you get to keep your cities. If you must split amongst unwilling lines, read on.

As the producers of most of the meat and vegetables you eat and the energy you consume, not to mention the various raw materials barring wood which, in fairness, you have much of, we will be open to negotiations for just how much you are willing to pay us to allow you to keep yourselves alive and comfortable. We'll be waiting as we drink our bourbons and beers. Not sure we'd really count the Delaware, Hudson, Chicago River or Lake Michigan as fresh water, but hey, your country, you drink what you want.

We'll keep Duke, Vanderbilt, Dell, Coca Cola, and the most solvent bank in the country (BoA).

If you want to keep the red counties red then natch it's only fair play to keep the blue counties blue. Travis county in Texas is a liberal enclave and home to Dell and the Univ of Texas. Vanderbilt is in a blue county. The research triangle counties in North Carolina are largely blue, including Durham County home to Duke University. The research triangle had a strange habit of attracting all these liberal transplants and actually putting North Carolina in play for the Democrats. Imagine that! And you'll find that BoA's HQs are in a blue county too, but moreover it was weened in San Francisco by an Italian immigrant so the blue states won't be keen to have control wrested away. Strange how these university towns create blue islands in the middle of the red sea, like the liberal Athens, Georgia which spawned REM and the B52s. The whole county partition idea would leave the red states a bit wanting when it came to universities. :P

Nah, all the states should be smacked around a bit until they turn purple.

FatherLen

at this stage i just couldn't give a shit what's the whackjobs are up to now.

gobnaitolunacy

Goddang Yankees.

Doctor Jimbob

What's so cilvil bout war anyway?

Leftist

if the blue states were alone without the hinderance of radical right wing christianity then it could become great.
but the red states alone would end up a christian version of iran. except far more dangerous.